Well had a bust up argument with hubby this morning. It frustrates me that he wont acknowledge that what we are doing is HUGE and it takes alot of planning and organisation. We have just under 4 weeks left and we still haven't packed up the house, the tiler is somewhere out there, who knows, he said he will call me when he has time. WTF! He is cut about me spending money. Well I don't have a summer wardrobe, not for tropical weather. During summer in Melbourne I still wear tracksuit pants and I have been told that bigger sizes in Asian countries are really hard to get, and I don't want to be embarrassed in front of these tiny ladies, the big farang who cant fit into any clothes! He doesn't understand and it hurts a little. My weight is an issue for me and my self esteem at the moment is terribly low. I am so busy getting everything done that I barely have time to exercise let alone eat properly. And now is not the time to start a new lifestyle when we are about to pack up and leave the country. It will be a big enough lifestyle change when we get there. It costs money to get things like Visas, passports, immunisations, medicine, kids stuff, buy electrical stuff for the computer etc as the electricity over there is very dodgy. We are finishing off the house which costs money, and the most important thing WE ARE MOVING THE WHOLE FAMILY TO THAILAND you dolt and it costs money!
Another thing I need to speak about today is how Julia Gillard has just been made our Prime Minister. Australia's first female Prime Minister. I am all for women's rights and I believe she would be fantastic, except for to 2 major things, 1. she is Labour and 2. she is in too tight with the Unions. I like her, she speaks very well, she is strong and doesn't get rattled, but she is just on the wrong team. Well I will watch from afar as to how well she goes and see what happens when we eventually return. Who knows she may be good.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Bangkok
Well last Tuesday hubby walks in the door after work and says, "Hey we are off to Thailand on Thursday!" Talk about short notice. 2 days to pack and arrange babysitting and clean the house and buy all the things a person needs to travel overseas. Wow! I was a little stressed.
Saying good bye to the babies was hard but I had craved a break away from the kids for so long I was nearly running out the door.
The plane ride sucked! 9 1/2 hours trying to sleep sitting up, cramped, back pain beyond belief and my darling hubby slept like a baby. I wanted to elbow him and make sure he was in as much pain as me. We landed at 5.30am on Friday and our host for the weekend, Mr Thai I will call him, picked us up and thus began our tour of Bangkok. My first impression of Bangkok was the humidity, then the driving. Oh my goodness, they are crazy. The law is...There is no law. Speeding, weaving in and out of traffic, barley missing the other cars, no one checks over their shoulder when merging, they just expect you to slow, stop or flat our swerve to miss them. There are stray dogs everywhere, just casually wandering around or sleeping. Not like strays in Melbourne who once getting their freedom from their backyard run around like crazy sniffing and peeing on everything insight, then realising they are lost they just keep running until being hit by a car. These dogs are veterans of the street. The Thais believe if you stuff up in this life you will come back in the next as a dog, so they tolerate these dogs and feed them just in case it is a relative who was reincarnated from their previous life.
Our apartment was great and I was dying just to go lie down however we had only 4 days to get everything done so we just sucked it up and pushed on. Our host showed us the basics to get around in Bangkok which was really helpful, simply knowing how to ride the sky train was vital. It allowed us to get about by ourselves more confidently. Mr Thai having lived in Thailand for 11 years taught us how to catch a cab without being ripped off, how to barter and the most important he taught us why it is important not to give to the beggars in the street. Apparently begging is a business, some women actually buy small children from Cambodia and Laos and bring them to the city to beg from all the tourists. But the children don't see that money, the so called mother takes it. He said if you want to help them out, donate to charities or to a school to really make a difference. By giving to the beggars you just encourage more begging and make it a viable way to live. It broke my heart to see children on the street, but once I knew what to look for I could see the "mother" not too far away usually working a stall or food cart.
I always knew from the beginning of our decision to move to a foreign country that the poverty and the small children would be my biggest problem. Hubby reckons I will end up wanting to adopt a baby and bring it home with us. And he is probably right, it is right there in the back of my mind. I plan once we are settled to join a group called the Pattaya International Ladies Club who do alot of charity work in their areas. I hope to be able to help out some way, not just live like a Fat Cat.
Anyway back to our trip. After a little shopping for a hat we got a couple hours sleep in our room before dinner. We were exhausted, I had a mini breakdown at this point. The smells and strangeness of this city overwhelmed me and I was wondering what the hell we had gotten ourselves into. I couldn't imagine bringing our babies to this strange country and risking their lives on the roads with all those crazy drivers. But after nap and a swim we freshened up for dinner. For our first night we ate Italian. I know, why Italian when you are in Thailand? I tell you this was the best Italian I have ever had, and living in Melbourne the Food Capital that is a big call. After dinner our host took us to a place called The State Tower. We went up to the 64Th floor to an open air cocktail bar and restaurant with the most amazing views of the city. It was so high up my ears popped in the elevator. I wish I had of worked out how to use the camera properly and got some decent photos.
After a good nights sleep we woke up feeling much more positive and started a new day by getting a foot massage and a bit of shopping. Then we were off down the coast to Pattaya, Sri Racha and Ban Saeng. Our objective for that day was to have a look at the areas and view some housing estates. I wanted to get an idea of what the houses were like and the neighbourhoods. We found a lovely house on a Golf Course just 15 Min's from were hubby will be working, but they would not barter down to our price. They beauty of Thailand is everything is negotiable, even your rent.
We ate like kings each night and slept like babies. But we were sad every evening missing the kids so much. Hubby even got teary at one point. Being so far from them and having this experience without them just felt wrong. After longing for a break from them, I realised that I couldn't bear to be so far away.
We were on a very emotional roller coaster and at first I thought it was just me freaking out but after talking with hubby I realised that he was feeling exactly the same way. One moment I was on a high looking at the lovely homes, eating great food and swimming in the resort pools. Then next I was horrified by the lack of regard for children's safety in cars or near roads and even riding on motorbikes with no helmet and barley balancing on the seat with 2 other people. Little babies having their milk bottle in mums arms while riding on the back of a motorbike weaving in and out of traffic and barley being missed by cars and trucks. And little toddlers up at 11pm at night walking around the night markets amongst the GO GO Bars with their bottles while their mums worked the stalls selling to tourists. All I could think was, Oh my god these babies should be tucked up in bed!
However having said all that, I never saw a sad or mistreated child. They were all happy and getting cuddles and there usually was always an adult nearby watching. The poverty shocked me but after speaking with Mr Thai he told me that its not poverty like we think, its more like a laziness. They only want enough for the foreseeable future. What is poverty for us, is everyday life for them, they aren't hungry as food is unbelievably cheap and abundant. Poverty is misery and they are not miserable. He explained that I will need to adjust my way of looking at life like "our way is the best way" and broaden my thinking to allow for the fact that some people just live like this. And in saying that, so many Thais have new cars, and not little shitty ones, big Hilux's and 4WD's. Cars that us living in Australia would struggle to afford. Thais would rather buy a new car than improve their house or buy a bigger house. It is a far different culture to what I am used to and it is going to take alot of time and work to come to terms with how they live.
Our trip ended back in Bangkok at the same apartments. And funny enough our attitude towards our impending sea change flipped. Our last night we were relaxed, talked more, laughed more and looked more closely at the Thais working and living around us. The smell I could never ever get used to as it is awful but I do believe that after an initial culture shock when we first move there I will begin to enjoy our adventure and even come to enjoy the "Thai" way of living.
We have only 4 weeks now to pack everything up and get organised and it's quite daunting but the excitement is starting to build and I know that having my babies with me this time will make it that much easier (as well as harder). I still cannot believe that this is happening. Hubby said that I always wanted to have an adventure and live a more than an ordinary life. Honestly though I never really thought our adventure would be this big and I don't think our friends believed it either.
Saying good bye to the babies was hard but I had craved a break away from the kids for so long I was nearly running out the door.
The plane ride sucked! 9 1/2 hours trying to sleep sitting up, cramped, back pain beyond belief and my darling hubby slept like a baby. I wanted to elbow him and make sure he was in as much pain as me. We landed at 5.30am on Friday and our host for the weekend, Mr Thai I will call him, picked us up and thus began our tour of Bangkok. My first impression of Bangkok was the humidity, then the driving. Oh my goodness, they are crazy. The law is...There is no law. Speeding, weaving in and out of traffic, barley missing the other cars, no one checks over their shoulder when merging, they just expect you to slow, stop or flat our swerve to miss them. There are stray dogs everywhere, just casually wandering around or sleeping. Not like strays in Melbourne who once getting their freedom from their backyard run around like crazy sniffing and peeing on everything insight, then realising they are lost they just keep running until being hit by a car. These dogs are veterans of the street. The Thais believe if you stuff up in this life you will come back in the next as a dog, so they tolerate these dogs and feed them just in case it is a relative who was reincarnated from their previous life.
Our apartment was great and I was dying just to go lie down however we had only 4 days to get everything done so we just sucked it up and pushed on. Our host showed us the basics to get around in Bangkok which was really helpful, simply knowing how to ride the sky train was vital. It allowed us to get about by ourselves more confidently. Mr Thai having lived in Thailand for 11 years taught us how to catch a cab without being ripped off, how to barter and the most important he taught us why it is important not to give to the beggars in the street. Apparently begging is a business, some women actually buy small children from Cambodia and Laos and bring them to the city to beg from all the tourists. But the children don't see that money, the so called mother takes it. He said if you want to help them out, donate to charities or to a school to really make a difference. By giving to the beggars you just encourage more begging and make it a viable way to live. It broke my heart to see children on the street, but once I knew what to look for I could see the "mother" not too far away usually working a stall or food cart.
I always knew from the beginning of our decision to move to a foreign country that the poverty and the small children would be my biggest problem. Hubby reckons I will end up wanting to adopt a baby and bring it home with us. And he is probably right, it is right there in the back of my mind. I plan once we are settled to join a group called the Pattaya International Ladies Club who do alot of charity work in their areas. I hope to be able to help out some way, not just live like a Fat Cat.
Anyway back to our trip. After a little shopping for a hat we got a couple hours sleep in our room before dinner. We were exhausted, I had a mini breakdown at this point. The smells and strangeness of this city overwhelmed me and I was wondering what the hell we had gotten ourselves into. I couldn't imagine bringing our babies to this strange country and risking their lives on the roads with all those crazy drivers. But after nap and a swim we freshened up for dinner. For our first night we ate Italian. I know, why Italian when you are in Thailand? I tell you this was the best Italian I have ever had, and living in Melbourne the Food Capital that is a big call. After dinner our host took us to a place called The State Tower. We went up to the 64Th floor to an open air cocktail bar and restaurant with the most amazing views of the city. It was so high up my ears popped in the elevator. I wish I had of worked out how to use the camera properly and got some decent photos.
After a good nights sleep we woke up feeling much more positive and started a new day by getting a foot massage and a bit of shopping. Then we were off down the coast to Pattaya, Sri Racha and Ban Saeng. Our objective for that day was to have a look at the areas and view some housing estates. I wanted to get an idea of what the houses were like and the neighbourhoods. We found a lovely house on a Golf Course just 15 Min's from were hubby will be working, but they would not barter down to our price. They beauty of Thailand is everything is negotiable, even your rent.
We ate like kings each night and slept like babies. But we were sad every evening missing the kids so much. Hubby even got teary at one point. Being so far from them and having this experience without them just felt wrong. After longing for a break from them, I realised that I couldn't bear to be so far away.
We were on a very emotional roller coaster and at first I thought it was just me freaking out but after talking with hubby I realised that he was feeling exactly the same way. One moment I was on a high looking at the lovely homes, eating great food and swimming in the resort pools. Then next I was horrified by the lack of regard for children's safety in cars or near roads and even riding on motorbikes with no helmet and barley balancing on the seat with 2 other people. Little babies having their milk bottle in mums arms while riding on the back of a motorbike weaving in and out of traffic and barley being missed by cars and trucks. And little toddlers up at 11pm at night walking around the night markets amongst the GO GO Bars with their bottles while their mums worked the stalls selling to tourists. All I could think was, Oh my god these babies should be tucked up in bed!
However having said all that, I never saw a sad or mistreated child. They were all happy and getting cuddles and there usually was always an adult nearby watching. The poverty shocked me but after speaking with Mr Thai he told me that its not poverty like we think, its more like a laziness. They only want enough for the foreseeable future. What is poverty for us, is everyday life for them, they aren't hungry as food is unbelievably cheap and abundant. Poverty is misery and they are not miserable. He explained that I will need to adjust my way of looking at life like "our way is the best way" and broaden my thinking to allow for the fact that some people just live like this. And in saying that, so many Thais have new cars, and not little shitty ones, big Hilux's and 4WD's. Cars that us living in Australia would struggle to afford. Thais would rather buy a new car than improve their house or buy a bigger house. It is a far different culture to what I am used to and it is going to take alot of time and work to come to terms with how they live.
Our trip ended back in Bangkok at the same apartments. And funny enough our attitude towards our impending sea change flipped. Our last night we were relaxed, talked more, laughed more and looked more closely at the Thais working and living around us. The smell I could never ever get used to as it is awful but I do believe that after an initial culture shock when we first move there I will begin to enjoy our adventure and even come to enjoy the "Thai" way of living.
We have only 4 weeks now to pack everything up and get organised and it's quite daunting but the excitement is starting to build and I know that having my babies with me this time will make it that much easier (as well as harder). I still cannot believe that this is happening. Hubby said that I always wanted to have an adventure and live a more than an ordinary life. Honestly though I never really thought our adventure would be this big and I don't think our friends believed it either.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
The Quickie
Oh my goodness! What a crazy 2 days we have had. Hubby came home Tuesday night after a meeting with his new employer and told me "hey, we are going to Thailand on Thursday!"
At first I am like, WOW yay lets go! Then once I realised I would have to plan and pack for a trip in 2 days with 2 kids underfoot I started to stress big time. If it wasn't for gigantic cans of Red Bull I don't think I would have made it. Saying that it is only 3pm and I still have dinners to make, bathrooms to clean, floors to vac and then get myself ready for the plane. All while keeping it a secret from my son. If he found out we were going without him I don't think he would ever get over it. We have been talking to him about moving to Thailand alot and he knows what is happening and is very excited to get on the "big plane". He is so cute, everyday he asks me if we are going to Thailand today. He has no concept of time. At least he isn't going on and on about Santa now.
So back to our trip, we leave tonight very late, so we land about 6am tomorrow morning and we have the whole day to get stuff done. The plan would be to sleep on the plane, but aside from me knocking myself out with sleeping pills I don't think I will be getting any shut eye. Hubby is more excited about being on a plane with no kids than of the actual trip.
We are only going for 5 days to check out neighbourhoods to live in and to meet the new employers. We didn't have to book for anything so far which is a major relief to me. The director is going to pick us up at the airport and take us to a hotel. I feel a bit special really. Just pack and go.
Hubby doesn't understand all the work involved in us leaving the kids for 5 days. He doesn't realise that you cant leave your house filthy, no food in the fridge and no "how to" lists for taking care of the baby. There is alot involved in taking care of someone elses kids and I want it to be as easy as possible. I just pray to whoever is up there that the baby sleeps through.
I am so pumped, I cant believe we get to go away to such a great place, child free. I am sooo needing this break. I love my babies beyond imagination and I will miss them dearly, but I know that a break for just us 2 to be alone is definitely needed.
We never had a honeymoon, we just got married and started having kids straight away and I really do regret not taking the time to just learn how to be married and learn more about the man I married. Some people say nothing changes once you get married, but I don't believe that. For some reason, people do change. Not for the worse (not in our case) but some of the spark seems to go, and I find its really hard to maintain that feeling of what it felt like when dating someone new and special. I truly believe them when they say that marriage is work, just not back breaking hard work I hope.
So off we go and I know I will have plenty to write about when we get back.
At first I am like, WOW yay lets go! Then once I realised I would have to plan and pack for a trip in 2 days with 2 kids underfoot I started to stress big time. If it wasn't for gigantic cans of Red Bull I don't think I would have made it. Saying that it is only 3pm and I still have dinners to make, bathrooms to clean, floors to vac and then get myself ready for the plane. All while keeping it a secret from my son. If he found out we were going without him I don't think he would ever get over it. We have been talking to him about moving to Thailand alot and he knows what is happening and is very excited to get on the "big plane". He is so cute, everyday he asks me if we are going to Thailand today. He has no concept of time. At least he isn't going on and on about Santa now.
So back to our trip, we leave tonight very late, so we land about 6am tomorrow morning and we have the whole day to get stuff done. The plan would be to sleep on the plane, but aside from me knocking myself out with sleeping pills I don't think I will be getting any shut eye. Hubby is more excited about being on a plane with no kids than of the actual trip.
We are only going for 5 days to check out neighbourhoods to live in and to meet the new employers. We didn't have to book for anything so far which is a major relief to me. The director is going to pick us up at the airport and take us to a hotel. I feel a bit special really. Just pack and go.
Hubby doesn't understand all the work involved in us leaving the kids for 5 days. He doesn't realise that you cant leave your house filthy, no food in the fridge and no "how to" lists for taking care of the baby. There is alot involved in taking care of someone elses kids and I want it to be as easy as possible. I just pray to whoever is up there that the baby sleeps through.
I am so pumped, I cant believe we get to go away to such a great place, child free. I am sooo needing this break. I love my babies beyond imagination and I will miss them dearly, but I know that a break for just us 2 to be alone is definitely needed.
We never had a honeymoon, we just got married and started having kids straight away and I really do regret not taking the time to just learn how to be married and learn more about the man I married. Some people say nothing changes once you get married, but I don't believe that. For some reason, people do change. Not for the worse (not in our case) but some of the spark seems to go, and I find its really hard to maintain that feeling of what it felt like when dating someone new and special. I truly believe them when they say that marriage is work, just not back breaking hard work I hope.
So off we go and I know I will have plenty to write about when we get back.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
So much to do
I cant believe it, I have another head cold! Every 2 weeks I come down with something. I think Melbourne and I are no longer compatible. The poor kids are still getting over their colds, it feels like forever.
I am having trouble getting off my arse to continue packing, we don't even have a confirmed travel date, except for it will be in August sometime. Hubby says we have plenty of time, but I know 8 weeks will fly by and then I will be rushed off my feet trying to get everything done in time. My biggest stress is finishing off odd jobs around the house. I seem to be stuck in the 1950's mentality that the handyman stuff is for the man to do!
Not anymore, I have realised that if I want it done and want it done quickly I need to do it myself. Meaning pay someone to do it. There are all these little jobs we had on our "to do list" that we thought we had years to eventually finish. I need to call in Domestic Blitz.
I think I have found someone to help me find Lance a new family. It is a organisation called Victorian Dog Rescue. I will have to surrender him to them and become his foster mum until they find a family for him. They are super picky who they chose to take on a dog and they also pay all his vet bills to get him ready for adoption. Any if they don't find someone before we go they will keep him with a foster family until they do. I feel so much better, I was starting to panic about whether or not I would be able to find a good enough person to take him. But I can relax a little now knowing that they are working for the sole benefit of Lance.
Better get off my arse and do some more packing. I wish I had some help from hubby.
I am having trouble getting off my arse to continue packing, we don't even have a confirmed travel date, except for it will be in August sometime. Hubby says we have plenty of time, but I know 8 weeks will fly by and then I will be rushed off my feet trying to get everything done in time. My biggest stress is finishing off odd jobs around the house. I seem to be stuck in the 1950's mentality that the handyman stuff is for the man to do!
Not anymore, I have realised that if I want it done and want it done quickly I need to do it myself. Meaning pay someone to do it. There are all these little jobs we had on our "to do list" that we thought we had years to eventually finish. I need to call in Domestic Blitz.
I think I have found someone to help me find Lance a new family. It is a organisation called Victorian Dog Rescue. I will have to surrender him to them and become his foster mum until they find a family for him. They are super picky who they chose to take on a dog and they also pay all his vet bills to get him ready for adoption. Any if they don't find someone before we go they will keep him with a foster family until they do. I feel so much better, I was starting to panic about whether or not I would be able to find a good enough person to take him. But I can relax a little now knowing that they are working for the sole benefit of Lance.
Better get off my arse and do some more packing. I wish I had some help from hubby.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Lance is back!
Welcome home Lance.
Would you believe it? After I post such a lovely goodbye to my dear little puppy, I get a phone call from the new family saying they took him to the vet and were told he needs some work and is older than I told them. Bullshit! I take him to the vet at least twice a year, he has never had anything wrong, and he is definitely NOT 9 years old. Silly toffs. I am so disappointed, they would have been the perfect family for him. Now he is home, he doesn't really want to be here, I can see it in his eyes, he doesn't know if he is coming or going. Poor thing, he probably thinks no one wants him now. If only we weren't leaving, or if only we were going somewhere where I could actually take him.
Hubby is a bit worried about me, not sure I can go through giving him away all over again. To be honest, I am a bit worried too. I am stressed, my neck is all cramped, it is where I hold all my tension.
Now I have to seek another family for him, and what do you think the chances are that I will find another group of people who treat their pets like children? Slim? God I hope not.
I just want to put him with someone who will be totally devoted to my little boy, keep him warm and safe and please let him sleep inside...I mean ideally I would like to just have someone foster him while we are gone, then I can get him back when we return.
Poor Lance.
Would you believe it? After I post such a lovely goodbye to my dear little puppy, I get a phone call from the new family saying they took him to the vet and were told he needs some work and is older than I told them. Bullshit! I take him to the vet at least twice a year, he has never had anything wrong, and he is definitely NOT 9 years old. Silly toffs. I am so disappointed, they would have been the perfect family for him. Now he is home, he doesn't really want to be here, I can see it in his eyes, he doesn't know if he is coming or going. Poor thing, he probably thinks no one wants him now. If only we weren't leaving, or if only we were going somewhere where I could actually take him.
Hubby is a bit worried about me, not sure I can go through giving him away all over again. To be honest, I am a bit worried too. I am stressed, my neck is all cramped, it is where I hold all my tension.
Now I have to seek another family for him, and what do you think the chances are that I will find another group of people who treat their pets like children? Slim? God I hope not.
I just want to put him with someone who will be totally devoted to my little boy, keep him warm and safe and please let him sleep inside...I mean ideally I would like to just have someone foster him while we are gone, then I can get him back when we return.
Poor Lance.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
We are moving to Thailand!
Well finally, we have signed our contract. It has only been nearly 10 weeks since we started negotiations. Feels like forever. Suspended in limbo, are we going? are we staying? Questions from friends and family and I never had a straight answer for them. At least now I know, Yes we are going, Yes we will be there in August and Yes I seriously need to starting packing up the house. That is the most daunting thing of all, choosing what we want to take over with us and choosing what we want to store and throwing away the rest. Talk about a good way to spring clean.
So many things to organise as well, visas, passports, get the house finished so we can rent it out etc etc etc. I have the biggest TO DO list you've ever seen, and everyday I add more. Hubby, to be honest, has done nothing. I have researched everything, I am going to need glasses from sitting at this computer everyday. Luckily I am a very organised person, I have lists all over the house, from shopping lists to the kids daily routines on the fridge. So far I am on track but I just know that somewhere out there is a little problem waiting to throw a spanner in my well laid plans.
I have been itching to write about our impending trip for weeks, but as we were still negotiating $ and hubby had not given notice at his current job I was forbidden to put anything out on the Internet just in case someone spilled the beans before we could. Even now I have to wait to publish this post as he cannot hand in his notice until Monday.
(note: its now monday and he has given notice, I am free to blog as much as I want, YAY!!!!)
So after all this waiting and wondering and expectation, I had a very anti-climatic response to him telling me that its all signed and we are definitely going. I thought I would feel relieved, excited or motivated to get stuck into it. But no, I was shitty from the kids sooking all day, tired from minimal sleep and irritated by the world, so it all went down like a sack of cement and to top it all off I was disappointed with myself for not jumping up and yelling "Yee Ha lets go!"
I don't think I will be a true believer until I am sitting on that plane and the wheels leave the tarmac.
When did I turn into such a pessimist? We are about to do the most exciting adventure ever and I still seem to be able to be negative.
Straighten up, exhale and smile, WE ARE MOVING TO THAILAND!
So many things to organise as well, visas, passports, get the house finished so we can rent it out etc etc etc. I have the biggest TO DO list you've ever seen, and everyday I add more. Hubby, to be honest, has done nothing. I have researched everything, I am going to need glasses from sitting at this computer everyday. Luckily I am a very organised person, I have lists all over the house, from shopping lists to the kids daily routines on the fridge. So far I am on track but I just know that somewhere out there is a little problem waiting to throw a spanner in my well laid plans.
I have been itching to write about our impending trip for weeks, but as we were still negotiating $ and hubby had not given notice at his current job I was forbidden to put anything out on the Internet just in case someone spilled the beans before we could. Even now I have to wait to publish this post as he cannot hand in his notice until Monday.
(note: its now monday and he has given notice, I am free to blog as much as I want, YAY!!!!)
So after all this waiting and wondering and expectation, I had a very anti-climatic response to him telling me that its all signed and we are definitely going. I thought I would feel relieved, excited or motivated to get stuck into it. But no, I was shitty from the kids sooking all day, tired from minimal sleep and irritated by the world, so it all went down like a sack of cement and to top it all off I was disappointed with myself for not jumping up and yelling "Yee Ha lets go!"
I don't think I will be a true believer until I am sitting on that plane and the wheels leave the tarmac.
When did I turn into such a pessimist? We are about to do the most exciting adventure ever and I still seem to be able to be negative.
Straighten up, exhale and smile, WE ARE MOVING TO THAILAND!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
First box
Today I packed my first box!
It was the kick start I needed to get cracking. I have been telling myself that something will go wrong, the deal will fall through, dont start until your are 100% sure. But then today I told myself, if I start now my actions wont jinx us, it will create some positive energy which will in turn bring about positive results. I am being very vague, I know but I still don't have permission to speak openly about our little adventure. Patience. I will take one day at a time and try not to stress out and fall into a dribbling mess.....
I also need to keep very busy as I am missing my dear little Lance. It is like I had a tail and someone cut it off. I keep expecting it to be there, just in the corner of my eye, but then I turn and its gone and I am left with a feeling like an amputee.
It was the kick start I needed to get cracking. I have been telling myself that something will go wrong, the deal will fall through, dont start until your are 100% sure. But then today I told myself, if I start now my actions wont jinx us, it will create some positive energy which will in turn bring about positive results. I am being very vague, I know but I still don't have permission to speak openly about our little adventure. Patience. I will take one day at a time and try not to stress out and fall into a dribbling mess.....
I also need to keep very busy as I am missing my dear little Lance. It is like I had a tail and someone cut it off. I keep expecting it to be there, just in the corner of my eye, but then I turn and its gone and I am left with a feeling like an amputee.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Bye Bye Puppy
I had to do the hardest thing on Sunday. Due to an up coming change in our living arrangements we have to find new homes for our 2 toy poodles, Sticker and Lance. After some calling around and leaving phone numbers with people, I received a call from a lady looking for a companion for her Toy Poodle as her other one passed a few months before. I wasn't expecting anything to happen so soon, but we arranged for Lance to meet with their family on Sunday. He got along really well with their dog and their kids fell in love with him immediately. So I suggested he stay the night to see how he goes and then if they were happy with him they could keep him. So far they have said he was a good boy and that they were all already in love with him.
Now I must explain, I got Lance and Sticker from the Lost Dogs Home about 4 years ago. They are my spoilt little babies, especially Lance, even on his naughtiest days I loved him terribly. So the mere thought of giving him away tore me up. But the other options were awful, kenneling them for 7-8 months with quarantine, plane flights etc, and then the possibility of them not passing quarantine and not being allowed to come home. We felt the best option would be to find them a family who would love and care for them as much as we do.
So when I got this call and met their family I knew straight away that he would be fine, more than fine, he would live better with them than here with us. No little kids to pull his hair or chase him around the house and plenty of laps to sit on for cuddles. Their house had a very relaxed and comfortable feel to it and I could tell that they are "Poodle People".
I came home to such a quiet house, no barking, no little shadow following me everywhere I go. I used to get upset with always having him under my feet, but now he isn't there I miss it. He was the most loyal and most loving dog I have ever had and my heart is now missing a piece now that he is not here. Poor Sticker seems lost, he has lost his brother and best friend. I will hang onto him for a while longer as I couldnt handle losing both so soon.
So I farewell you little Lance, with your annoying bark and stinky poos. My bed is cold without you tucked into my side and I will miss you more than you will know, and I pray for you to live long and happy with your new family. Be good to them, and don't poop in the house.
You have gone from a puppy with no home, to living in Dandenong with us, to living in South Yarra. You are moving up in the world and no one deserves it more than you.
I will always love you little Lance.
Now I must explain, I got Lance and Sticker from the Lost Dogs Home about 4 years ago. They are my spoilt little babies, especially Lance, even on his naughtiest days I loved him terribly. So the mere thought of giving him away tore me up. But the other options were awful, kenneling them for 7-8 months with quarantine, plane flights etc, and then the possibility of them not passing quarantine and not being allowed to come home. We felt the best option would be to find them a family who would love and care for them as much as we do.
So when I got this call and met their family I knew straight away that he would be fine, more than fine, he would live better with them than here with us. No little kids to pull his hair or chase him around the house and plenty of laps to sit on for cuddles. Their house had a very relaxed and comfortable feel to it and I could tell that they are "Poodle People".
I came home to such a quiet house, no barking, no little shadow following me everywhere I go. I used to get upset with always having him under my feet, but now he isn't there I miss it. He was the most loyal and most loving dog I have ever had and my heart is now missing a piece now that he is not here. Poor Sticker seems lost, he has lost his brother and best friend. I will hang onto him for a while longer as I couldnt handle losing both so soon.
So I farewell you little Lance, with your annoying bark and stinky poos. My bed is cold without you tucked into my side and I will miss you more than you will know, and I pray for you to live long and happy with your new family. Be good to them, and don't poop in the house.
You have gone from a puppy with no home, to living in Dandenong with us, to living in South Yarra. You are moving up in the world and no one deserves it more than you.
I will always love you little Lance.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Frustration
Oh I am so frustrated with everything. Especially myself. I make all these empty promises to myself and break them within moments of making it. I said today that I wouldn't drink anymore energy drinks, yet within 30 Min's I had bought one, justifying it to myself with some petty excuse. The same goes for eating junk like chocolate and McDonald's. I mean I don't eat it everyday, but I do eat more than I should.
I found some old pictures of me from 9 years ago and wonder where that girl is today? Not the personality part, because I much prefer my character now to then. But the body shape, size etc. I know, I know, I cant compare my 21 yr old body to my 29yr old body after 2 babies, but there are heaps of women out there who have had kids and haven't stacked on the weight. I used my pregnancies as an excuse to eat too much and indulge. Now I am paying the price, being stuck in very bad habits and routine which I find very hard to break.
What is it going to take to snap me out of these unhealthy, bad habits? Because I obviously don't have the will power!
Although I will credit myself with something: I started running a few weeks back (something I haven't done, ever). And I surprised myself with a couple of things.
1. the distance I could do first try, 1 whole kilometer! and
2. I didn't pee my pants!
For all those who have had a couple of kids know exactly what I am talking about. I was so happy! I actually enjoy running, pushing myself that extra bit every day til now I can do 2 1/2 kms. I know its not much but its a start and I am proud of it. I need to find the time to do it more than once a week. I can use it as a start to begin training for a longer run, a fun run or half marathon would be an achievement.
Maybe once I get into a bit more I can use it to start changing all my bad eating habits as well, rather than trying to go cold turkey in one day.
Ah we will see. I am up and down like a yo yo!
I found some old pictures of me from 9 years ago and wonder where that girl is today? Not the personality part, because I much prefer my character now to then. But the body shape, size etc. I know, I know, I cant compare my 21 yr old body to my 29yr old body after 2 babies, but there are heaps of women out there who have had kids and haven't stacked on the weight. I used my pregnancies as an excuse to eat too much and indulge. Now I am paying the price, being stuck in very bad habits and routine which I find very hard to break.
What is it going to take to snap me out of these unhealthy, bad habits? Because I obviously don't have the will power!
Although I will credit myself with something: I started running a few weeks back (something I haven't done, ever). And I surprised myself with a couple of things.
1. the distance I could do first try, 1 whole kilometer! and
2. I didn't pee my pants!
For all those who have had a couple of kids know exactly what I am talking about. I was so happy! I actually enjoy running, pushing myself that extra bit every day til now I can do 2 1/2 kms. I know its not much but its a start and I am proud of it. I need to find the time to do it more than once a week. I can use it as a start to begin training for a longer run, a fun run or half marathon would be an achievement.
Maybe once I get into a bit more I can use it to start changing all my bad eating habits as well, rather than trying to go cold turkey in one day.
Ah we will see. I am up and down like a yo yo!
Monday, May 3, 2010
Pledge
Oh my its been ages. Whoops. Trying to get back into routine a bit, a couple of long weekends and I am all out of whack. I so want to start learning to meditate, but I struggle to find the time. I have finished work now so maybe instead of going to work for 3 hours I can find a class to take or something interesting like that. I have seen meditation classes advertised around, or maybe I will take up Yoga.
I have been so cranky lately, I snap very easily, I feel hormonal all the time and very moody. I think I am addicted to V energy drinks, I have at least one sometimes 2 bottles a day, then I have trouble sleeping at night, I even get tummy cramps from it. I dont drink coffee or tea so I justify it to myself that it is just like having 2 coffees a day. I lie to myself everyday about this. Every sunday I go to bed saying, tomorrow I quit, then tomorrow comes and I am back at the 7 Eleven buying their 2 for 1 deal. It works out quite expensive. I know I can stop because when I was pregnant with both of my kids I quit no probs because I had to, but this time it seems so much harder, I look forward to my drink, the kids are annoying me, I have too much housework to do and it brings me a little happiness for 10 mins. Isnt that sad? I should be getting happiness from my family and home and life, not from a stupid drink. God its pathetic.
I see these bogan women on the current affair programs about how they are addicted to Coke and Coke Zero, and I honestly feel repulsed by them, and in the same instant I am repulsed by myself.
I tell hubby not to let me have one, and he tries but I just fold and go get it anyway and he knows I will argue and sulk if he tries to tell me what to do.
I need to get stuck into my fitness again, I am going to give myself a goal to work towards. Not a weight goal, or a dress size but a fitness goal like a half marathon or bike ride or triathalon. If I can start a training program to build my fitness for an event then I will be more focused on that and the weight loss and health improvements will just be a positive side effect.
So thats it world, I am going to Google until I find myself an acheivable event and start training. And I hope that if I can kick this caffeine habit my temper will calm down and I wont be so moody.
I hereby pledge:
I, Allison Esmonde will choose a sporting event to train towards and compete in for the next 6 months. I will stop drinking energy drinks, stop eating chocolate and start a more healthy lifestyle. I will also use my time more effectively to take on a new class, either Yoga or Meditation.
I take this pledge in the interest of my health, both mental and physical and for the benefit of my family.
I will document my progress here on my blog, along with my other thoughts and ideas.
Signed
Allison Esmonde
03 May 2010
So lets see how this goes......?
I have been so cranky lately, I snap very easily, I feel hormonal all the time and very moody. I think I am addicted to V energy drinks, I have at least one sometimes 2 bottles a day, then I have trouble sleeping at night, I even get tummy cramps from it. I dont drink coffee or tea so I justify it to myself that it is just like having 2 coffees a day. I lie to myself everyday about this. Every sunday I go to bed saying, tomorrow I quit, then tomorrow comes and I am back at the 7 Eleven buying their 2 for 1 deal. It works out quite expensive. I know I can stop because when I was pregnant with both of my kids I quit no probs because I had to, but this time it seems so much harder, I look forward to my drink, the kids are annoying me, I have too much housework to do and it brings me a little happiness for 10 mins. Isnt that sad? I should be getting happiness from my family and home and life, not from a stupid drink. God its pathetic.
I see these bogan women on the current affair programs about how they are addicted to Coke and Coke Zero, and I honestly feel repulsed by them, and in the same instant I am repulsed by myself.
I tell hubby not to let me have one, and he tries but I just fold and go get it anyway and he knows I will argue and sulk if he tries to tell me what to do.
I need to get stuck into my fitness again, I am going to give myself a goal to work towards. Not a weight goal, or a dress size but a fitness goal like a half marathon or bike ride or triathalon. If I can start a training program to build my fitness for an event then I will be more focused on that and the weight loss and health improvements will just be a positive side effect.
So thats it world, I am going to Google until I find myself an acheivable event and start training. And I hope that if I can kick this caffeine habit my temper will calm down and I wont be so moody.
I hereby pledge:
I, Allison Esmonde will choose a sporting event to train towards and compete in for the next 6 months. I will stop drinking energy drinks, stop eating chocolate and start a more healthy lifestyle. I will also use my time more effectively to take on a new class, either Yoga or Meditation.
I take this pledge in the interest of my health, both mental and physical and for the benefit of my family.
I will document my progress here on my blog, along with my other thoughts and ideas.
Signed
Allison Esmonde
03 May 2010
So lets see how this goes......?
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