Welcome home Lance.
Would you believe it? After I post such a lovely goodbye to my dear little puppy, I get a phone call from the new family saying they took him to the vet and were told he needs some work and is older than I told them. Bullshit! I take him to the vet at least twice a year, he has never had anything wrong, and he is definitely NOT 9 years old. Silly toffs. I am so disappointed, they would have been the perfect family for him. Now he is home, he doesn't really want to be here, I can see it in his eyes, he doesn't know if he is coming or going. Poor thing, he probably thinks no one wants him now. If only we weren't leaving, or if only we were going somewhere where I could actually take him.
Hubby is a bit worried about me, not sure I can go through giving him away all over again. To be honest, I am a bit worried too. I am stressed, my neck is all cramped, it is where I hold all my tension.
Now I have to seek another family for him, and what do you think the chances are that I will find another group of people who treat their pets like children? Slim? God I hope not.
I just want to put him with someone who will be totally devoted to my little boy, keep him warm and safe and please let him sleep inside...I mean ideally I would like to just have someone foster him while we are gone, then I can get him back when we return.
Poor Lance.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
We are moving to Thailand!
Well finally, we have signed our contract. It has only been nearly 10 weeks since we started negotiations. Feels like forever. Suspended in limbo, are we going? are we staying? Questions from friends and family and I never had a straight answer for them. At least now I know, Yes we are going, Yes we will be there in August and Yes I seriously need to starting packing up the house. That is the most daunting thing of all, choosing what we want to take over with us and choosing what we want to store and throwing away the rest. Talk about a good way to spring clean.
So many things to organise as well, visas, passports, get the house finished so we can rent it out etc etc etc. I have the biggest TO DO list you've ever seen, and everyday I add more. Hubby, to be honest, has done nothing. I have researched everything, I am going to need glasses from sitting at this computer everyday. Luckily I am a very organised person, I have lists all over the house, from shopping lists to the kids daily routines on the fridge. So far I am on track but I just know that somewhere out there is a little problem waiting to throw a spanner in my well laid plans.
I have been itching to write about our impending trip for weeks, but as we were still negotiating $ and hubby had not given notice at his current job I was forbidden to put anything out on the Internet just in case someone spilled the beans before we could. Even now I have to wait to publish this post as he cannot hand in his notice until Monday.
(note: its now monday and he has given notice, I am free to blog as much as I want, YAY!!!!)
So after all this waiting and wondering and expectation, I had a very anti-climatic response to him telling me that its all signed and we are definitely going. I thought I would feel relieved, excited or motivated to get stuck into it. But no, I was shitty from the kids sooking all day, tired from minimal sleep and irritated by the world, so it all went down like a sack of cement and to top it all off I was disappointed with myself for not jumping up and yelling "Yee Ha lets go!"
I don't think I will be a true believer until I am sitting on that plane and the wheels leave the tarmac.
When did I turn into such a pessimist? We are about to do the most exciting adventure ever and I still seem to be able to be negative.
Straighten up, exhale and smile, WE ARE MOVING TO THAILAND!
So many things to organise as well, visas, passports, get the house finished so we can rent it out etc etc etc. I have the biggest TO DO list you've ever seen, and everyday I add more. Hubby, to be honest, has done nothing. I have researched everything, I am going to need glasses from sitting at this computer everyday. Luckily I am a very organised person, I have lists all over the house, from shopping lists to the kids daily routines on the fridge. So far I am on track but I just know that somewhere out there is a little problem waiting to throw a spanner in my well laid plans.
I have been itching to write about our impending trip for weeks, but as we were still negotiating $ and hubby had not given notice at his current job I was forbidden to put anything out on the Internet just in case someone spilled the beans before we could. Even now I have to wait to publish this post as he cannot hand in his notice until Monday.
(note: its now monday and he has given notice, I am free to blog as much as I want, YAY!!!!)
So after all this waiting and wondering and expectation, I had a very anti-climatic response to him telling me that its all signed and we are definitely going. I thought I would feel relieved, excited or motivated to get stuck into it. But no, I was shitty from the kids sooking all day, tired from minimal sleep and irritated by the world, so it all went down like a sack of cement and to top it all off I was disappointed with myself for not jumping up and yelling "Yee Ha lets go!"
I don't think I will be a true believer until I am sitting on that plane and the wheels leave the tarmac.
When did I turn into such a pessimist? We are about to do the most exciting adventure ever and I still seem to be able to be negative.
Straighten up, exhale and smile, WE ARE MOVING TO THAILAND!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
First box
Today I packed my first box!
It was the kick start I needed to get cracking. I have been telling myself that something will go wrong, the deal will fall through, dont start until your are 100% sure. But then today I told myself, if I start now my actions wont jinx us, it will create some positive energy which will in turn bring about positive results. I am being very vague, I know but I still don't have permission to speak openly about our little adventure. Patience. I will take one day at a time and try not to stress out and fall into a dribbling mess.....
I also need to keep very busy as I am missing my dear little Lance. It is like I had a tail and someone cut it off. I keep expecting it to be there, just in the corner of my eye, but then I turn and its gone and I am left with a feeling like an amputee.
It was the kick start I needed to get cracking. I have been telling myself that something will go wrong, the deal will fall through, dont start until your are 100% sure. But then today I told myself, if I start now my actions wont jinx us, it will create some positive energy which will in turn bring about positive results. I am being very vague, I know but I still don't have permission to speak openly about our little adventure. Patience. I will take one day at a time and try not to stress out and fall into a dribbling mess.....
I also need to keep very busy as I am missing my dear little Lance. It is like I had a tail and someone cut it off. I keep expecting it to be there, just in the corner of my eye, but then I turn and its gone and I am left with a feeling like an amputee.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Bye Bye Puppy
I had to do the hardest thing on Sunday. Due to an up coming change in our living arrangements we have to find new homes for our 2 toy poodles, Sticker and Lance. After some calling around and leaving phone numbers with people, I received a call from a lady looking for a companion for her Toy Poodle as her other one passed a few months before. I wasn't expecting anything to happen so soon, but we arranged for Lance to meet with their family on Sunday. He got along really well with their dog and their kids fell in love with him immediately. So I suggested he stay the night to see how he goes and then if they were happy with him they could keep him. So far they have said he was a good boy and that they were all already in love with him.
Now I must explain, I got Lance and Sticker from the Lost Dogs Home about 4 years ago. They are my spoilt little babies, especially Lance, even on his naughtiest days I loved him terribly. So the mere thought of giving him away tore me up. But the other options were awful, kenneling them for 7-8 months with quarantine, plane flights etc, and then the possibility of them not passing quarantine and not being allowed to come home. We felt the best option would be to find them a family who would love and care for them as much as we do.
So when I got this call and met their family I knew straight away that he would be fine, more than fine, he would live better with them than here with us. No little kids to pull his hair or chase him around the house and plenty of laps to sit on for cuddles. Their house had a very relaxed and comfortable feel to it and I could tell that they are "Poodle People".
I came home to such a quiet house, no barking, no little shadow following me everywhere I go. I used to get upset with always having him under my feet, but now he isn't there I miss it. He was the most loyal and most loving dog I have ever had and my heart is now missing a piece now that he is not here. Poor Sticker seems lost, he has lost his brother and best friend. I will hang onto him for a while longer as I couldnt handle losing both so soon.
So I farewell you little Lance, with your annoying bark and stinky poos. My bed is cold without you tucked into my side and I will miss you more than you will know, and I pray for you to live long and happy with your new family. Be good to them, and don't poop in the house.
You have gone from a puppy with no home, to living in Dandenong with us, to living in South Yarra. You are moving up in the world and no one deserves it more than you.
I will always love you little Lance.
Now I must explain, I got Lance and Sticker from the Lost Dogs Home about 4 years ago. They are my spoilt little babies, especially Lance, even on his naughtiest days I loved him terribly. So the mere thought of giving him away tore me up. But the other options were awful, kenneling them for 7-8 months with quarantine, plane flights etc, and then the possibility of them not passing quarantine and not being allowed to come home. We felt the best option would be to find them a family who would love and care for them as much as we do.
So when I got this call and met their family I knew straight away that he would be fine, more than fine, he would live better with them than here with us. No little kids to pull his hair or chase him around the house and plenty of laps to sit on for cuddles. Their house had a very relaxed and comfortable feel to it and I could tell that they are "Poodle People".
I came home to such a quiet house, no barking, no little shadow following me everywhere I go. I used to get upset with always having him under my feet, but now he isn't there I miss it. He was the most loyal and most loving dog I have ever had and my heart is now missing a piece now that he is not here. Poor Sticker seems lost, he has lost his brother and best friend. I will hang onto him for a while longer as I couldnt handle losing both so soon.
So I farewell you little Lance, with your annoying bark and stinky poos. My bed is cold without you tucked into my side and I will miss you more than you will know, and I pray for you to live long and happy with your new family. Be good to them, and don't poop in the house.
You have gone from a puppy with no home, to living in Dandenong with us, to living in South Yarra. You are moving up in the world and no one deserves it more than you.
I will always love you little Lance.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Frustration
Oh I am so frustrated with everything. Especially myself. I make all these empty promises to myself and break them within moments of making it. I said today that I wouldn't drink anymore energy drinks, yet within 30 Min's I had bought one, justifying it to myself with some petty excuse. The same goes for eating junk like chocolate and McDonald's. I mean I don't eat it everyday, but I do eat more than I should.
I found some old pictures of me from 9 years ago and wonder where that girl is today? Not the personality part, because I much prefer my character now to then. But the body shape, size etc. I know, I know, I cant compare my 21 yr old body to my 29yr old body after 2 babies, but there are heaps of women out there who have had kids and haven't stacked on the weight. I used my pregnancies as an excuse to eat too much and indulge. Now I am paying the price, being stuck in very bad habits and routine which I find very hard to break.
What is it going to take to snap me out of these unhealthy, bad habits? Because I obviously don't have the will power!
Although I will credit myself with something: I started running a few weeks back (something I haven't done, ever). And I surprised myself with a couple of things.
1. the distance I could do first try, 1 whole kilometer! and
2. I didn't pee my pants!
For all those who have had a couple of kids know exactly what I am talking about. I was so happy! I actually enjoy running, pushing myself that extra bit every day til now I can do 2 1/2 kms. I know its not much but its a start and I am proud of it. I need to find the time to do it more than once a week. I can use it as a start to begin training for a longer run, a fun run or half marathon would be an achievement.
Maybe once I get into a bit more I can use it to start changing all my bad eating habits as well, rather than trying to go cold turkey in one day.
Ah we will see. I am up and down like a yo yo!
I found some old pictures of me from 9 years ago and wonder where that girl is today? Not the personality part, because I much prefer my character now to then. But the body shape, size etc. I know, I know, I cant compare my 21 yr old body to my 29yr old body after 2 babies, but there are heaps of women out there who have had kids and haven't stacked on the weight. I used my pregnancies as an excuse to eat too much and indulge. Now I am paying the price, being stuck in very bad habits and routine which I find very hard to break.
What is it going to take to snap me out of these unhealthy, bad habits? Because I obviously don't have the will power!
Although I will credit myself with something: I started running a few weeks back (something I haven't done, ever). And I surprised myself with a couple of things.
1. the distance I could do first try, 1 whole kilometer! and
2. I didn't pee my pants!
For all those who have had a couple of kids know exactly what I am talking about. I was so happy! I actually enjoy running, pushing myself that extra bit every day til now I can do 2 1/2 kms. I know its not much but its a start and I am proud of it. I need to find the time to do it more than once a week. I can use it as a start to begin training for a longer run, a fun run or half marathon would be an achievement.
Maybe once I get into a bit more I can use it to start changing all my bad eating habits as well, rather than trying to go cold turkey in one day.
Ah we will see. I am up and down like a yo yo!
Monday, May 3, 2010
Pledge
Oh my its been ages. Whoops. Trying to get back into routine a bit, a couple of long weekends and I am all out of whack. I so want to start learning to meditate, but I struggle to find the time. I have finished work now so maybe instead of going to work for 3 hours I can find a class to take or something interesting like that. I have seen meditation classes advertised around, or maybe I will take up Yoga.
I have been so cranky lately, I snap very easily, I feel hormonal all the time and very moody. I think I am addicted to V energy drinks, I have at least one sometimes 2 bottles a day, then I have trouble sleeping at night, I even get tummy cramps from it. I dont drink coffee or tea so I justify it to myself that it is just like having 2 coffees a day. I lie to myself everyday about this. Every sunday I go to bed saying, tomorrow I quit, then tomorrow comes and I am back at the 7 Eleven buying their 2 for 1 deal. It works out quite expensive. I know I can stop because when I was pregnant with both of my kids I quit no probs because I had to, but this time it seems so much harder, I look forward to my drink, the kids are annoying me, I have too much housework to do and it brings me a little happiness for 10 mins. Isnt that sad? I should be getting happiness from my family and home and life, not from a stupid drink. God its pathetic.
I see these bogan women on the current affair programs about how they are addicted to Coke and Coke Zero, and I honestly feel repulsed by them, and in the same instant I am repulsed by myself.
I tell hubby not to let me have one, and he tries but I just fold and go get it anyway and he knows I will argue and sulk if he tries to tell me what to do.
I need to get stuck into my fitness again, I am going to give myself a goal to work towards. Not a weight goal, or a dress size but a fitness goal like a half marathon or bike ride or triathalon. If I can start a training program to build my fitness for an event then I will be more focused on that and the weight loss and health improvements will just be a positive side effect.
So thats it world, I am going to Google until I find myself an acheivable event and start training. And I hope that if I can kick this caffeine habit my temper will calm down and I wont be so moody.
I hereby pledge:
I, Allison Esmonde will choose a sporting event to train towards and compete in for the next 6 months. I will stop drinking energy drinks, stop eating chocolate and start a more healthy lifestyle. I will also use my time more effectively to take on a new class, either Yoga or Meditation.
I take this pledge in the interest of my health, both mental and physical and for the benefit of my family.
I will document my progress here on my blog, along with my other thoughts and ideas.
Signed
Allison Esmonde
03 May 2010
So lets see how this goes......?
I have been so cranky lately, I snap very easily, I feel hormonal all the time and very moody. I think I am addicted to V energy drinks, I have at least one sometimes 2 bottles a day, then I have trouble sleeping at night, I even get tummy cramps from it. I dont drink coffee or tea so I justify it to myself that it is just like having 2 coffees a day. I lie to myself everyday about this. Every sunday I go to bed saying, tomorrow I quit, then tomorrow comes and I am back at the 7 Eleven buying their 2 for 1 deal. It works out quite expensive. I know I can stop because when I was pregnant with both of my kids I quit no probs because I had to, but this time it seems so much harder, I look forward to my drink, the kids are annoying me, I have too much housework to do and it brings me a little happiness for 10 mins. Isnt that sad? I should be getting happiness from my family and home and life, not from a stupid drink. God its pathetic.
I see these bogan women on the current affair programs about how they are addicted to Coke and Coke Zero, and I honestly feel repulsed by them, and in the same instant I am repulsed by myself.
I tell hubby not to let me have one, and he tries but I just fold and go get it anyway and he knows I will argue and sulk if he tries to tell me what to do.
I need to get stuck into my fitness again, I am going to give myself a goal to work towards. Not a weight goal, or a dress size but a fitness goal like a half marathon or bike ride or triathalon. If I can start a training program to build my fitness for an event then I will be more focused on that and the weight loss and health improvements will just be a positive side effect.
So thats it world, I am going to Google until I find myself an acheivable event and start training. And I hope that if I can kick this caffeine habit my temper will calm down and I wont be so moody.
I hereby pledge:
I, Allison Esmonde will choose a sporting event to train towards and compete in for the next 6 months. I will stop drinking energy drinks, stop eating chocolate and start a more healthy lifestyle. I will also use my time more effectively to take on a new class, either Yoga or Meditation.
I take this pledge in the interest of my health, both mental and physical and for the benefit of my family.
I will document my progress here on my blog, along with my other thoughts and ideas.
Signed
Allison Esmonde
03 May 2010
So lets see how this goes......?
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