Living in Thailand for our family looks to be coming to an end. Marcus has accepted a new job with his company back in Melbourne for which I am very grateful. 2 years is long enough to live away from home. It is hard to explain to people who aren't expatriates how difficult it can be. Alot of people must think "what a whinger, living in Thailand and complaining about it" but imagine being away from all you know and love and being in a country not as a tourist but as a resident. Not speaking the language isn't as much of a drama unless I need to deal with someone who doesn't speak English very well and to be honest it is only occasionally as I tend to avoid situations that would require me to interact with locals and it's shame because it has stopped me from really experiencing the "real" Thailand. I and many of the other wives I have met all admit to living in a bubble, a little world in which we wake up, kids to school, go to the gym, go shopping then back home to hours of idleness until its time to pick the kids up again. This probably doesn't sound much different to some stay at home mums lives back in Australia but most mums back in Australia don't have full time maids that wash, clean and even nanny for them which gives wives over here so much more extra time in their days and absolutely nothing to do with it. A few ladies I know only have a maid once or twice a week in order to give them something to do around the house, I know I have my maid 2 days a week but still for such a small house it doesn't leave much for me to do anyway.
Initially I had ideas to go and volunteer with charities and study the new language and take up hobbies such as yoga, music and meditation. None of this I have done, the charity part I tried but couldn't find the strength to be around the orphans and abandoned babies, I can barely cope with looking at the stray dogs in the street. A few ladies I know volunteer their time and they also admit it is extremely hard, they want to take all the little kids begging for cuddles home to love and care for but it just cannot happen. A woman I met the other night told a story of how she was in the children's home to volunteer some of her time to help and a young Thai woman came in with a 1 week old baby girl to give up, just hand her over and walk away. Apparently there are several types of children's homes here in Thailand, there is the home where a woman can give up her baby for the first 5 years of its life and then return to take it back (if they so choose to), then there is the type where a mother can give up her baby but still have control in what type of family the baby can be adopted out to, she gets final say and sign off on the adoption and finally there is the type where a mother can walk in and completely give up all parental rights and walk away. The home where my friend helps out in has 3 Thai ladies looking after 25, that's right, 25 children ranging from new borns to 6 years old and older. New born babies have a nappy folded on their chest and a bottle of formula propped up in their mouths as they lay in their cots in a row. The staff admit to not cuddling the babies or children as it makes the children want it more and more and they simply cannot cuddle and work with that many children at once so they avoid most physical contact. They rely on volunteers to come and cuddle and play to interact with the kids. Imagine being a child and growing up without a mothers love and affection, I just cannot bear the thought.
I am not sure where our friends back in Australia think we live, maybe a normal suburb like they do back at home but its not the case. Yes we live in a "village" walls and security but to the left and the right are various types of dwellings, rows of shops where the owners live and sleep on mattresses in the back, a few houses but mostly there are what we call "shack people" where they have pushed up a few corrugated iron sheets as walls and a roof and live within and pray it doesn't blow away or wash away in the next down pour. There can be super rich looking houses and villages randomly scattered around Pattaya but right next door is still the little shack with 3 generations of Thai family living inside.
So my point is the reminder of poverty is always there, just driving into town is a constant reminder that this is a third world country, admittedly its not Cambodia or Burma but it is still third world and there are still families living in the rubbish dumps collecting recycling to cash in. Even my maid who works 5 days a week cleaning different houses collects our recycling to cash in for extra money. I saw her rummaging through our rubbish bags on her first day so now I keep a special box out the back to collect it all through the week. There is a guilty feeling that lingers with me and may stay with me, that we can be so fortunate and they aren't, it is a difficult thing to deal with.
Some people think of Thailand and think "paradise", I am not sure yet what I am going to think. When I look back on our time here in Thailand, there have been great experiences and some eye opening experiences.
I know that when I think about going home to Melbourne I get excited and happy and a sense of relief washes over me and I just cannot wait to get on that plane.
I have told the children that we are going home soon and even when we announced that we had to give away our little dog Sticker II Judd and Lillie both understood and didn't fight against it. I am sad she had to go but since our friend in America is no longer there we had no other option than to re home her. The price to send her to Australia was astronomical and also the time she would have had to spend in a cage was unfair. She is now with a lovely Korean family who plan to keep her and even take her back to Korea with them and possibly onto Australia if they get working visas. Korea is a approved country so the time she spends there will dramatically reduce her kennel time from 7 months to 1 month quarantine. Marcus works with the Korean father who took her and he gives him daily updates on how she has settled and they are all very happy with her as their new pet. I miss her company dearly but I know deep down it is for best.
So now our challenge is to see all the places in Thailand that were on our visit list, have a baby, buy a new house in Melbourne, pack up this house (actually pay the removalists to pack up this house) and get organised to get us on home soil by August. Plenty to do and lots of emotions to deal with as well. It is going to be a busy 2012.
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