Sweating the small stuff

We had a great weekend, Saturday.  Spent a nice day with the kids then arranged for the maid to babysit while we took some much needed mummy and daddy time to go out for dinner and a spot of shopping.  We went to a Mexican restaurant in town and did a bit of people watching then off to a new night market down the street to see if we could pick up some bargains but unfortunately it was just the same old overpriced copies for sale repeated in each isle.  Afterwards we topped of the evening each getting a lovely foot massage.  We were supposed to go to a friends going away party afterwards but my energy levels in the evening are pretty much sapped by 10pm, so we headed home.
Sunday we packed up the kids and some food and headed up to Bangkok for the Bangkok Tens Rugby Tournament that Marcus' rugby team was signed up for.  We of course missed our turn off and got lost but made it just in time for the start of the first game.  There was another family there with a boy and girl the same ages as Lillie and Judd so they all played all afternoon, non stop.  Thankfully it wasn't too hot and occasionally a cool breeze would blow through to cool us off.  We had a great day and on the drive home I started to talk about some of the thoughts that I have been having lately, especially after great weekends like this one, that maybe we made our decision to leave Thailand too soon.  I have been thinking that maybe we should have thought about it longer and assessed the situation more.  But these thoughts only occur after a weekend of family fun and activities, during the week when I am mostly alone with nothing to do I fixate on all the frustrating and negative aspects of living overseas and work myself up into such a state that come Friday I am emotionally exhausted. 
Take last night for instance, here we are coming off such a good weekend, and we talked about the options we have for possibly staying then BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM comes the extremely loud music from across the street and by the time I get the kids into bed and off to sleep and am looking forward to some nice quiet time on the couch with my husband the music gets louder and louder that I eventually take the dog for a walk to try and see just exactly where it is all coming from.  It turns out one of the little shops across from our village had 4 Thai men sitting out the front drinking beer or scotch with 4 BIG speakers, you know the ones the local DJ's use when playing at parties, these speakers were set up with little flashing party lights all over them and pointed out towards the street rather than turned in towards their shop and to where they were sitting like they thought the rest of the world wanted to join their party.  Blaring out was this terrible Thai music with such a loud Bass that it reverberated through your body.   All that just for 4 men having a beer. 
I was secretly hoping it was a neighbour in the village so I could maybe ask politely if they could turn it down, but unfortunately it wasn't.  I walked back home and tried to push the noise out of my mind, I tried ear plugs as I went to bed but it was so loud that they didn't even work, I tried some simple meditation to try and trick my brain into ignoring it and in the end I put my Ipod on with an audio book to give me something to focus on as I tried to sleep.  Thankfully someone must have told them to shut it all up as by the time Marcus came to bed it had been turned off but unfortunately the damage was done and my nights sleep was fitful and painful as my belly has become increasingly uncomfortable and the pains in my back and hips become unbearable.
So by the time we got up this morning my mind was 100% decided that we are leaving Thailand and it wouldn't bother me if we never came back, not even for a holiday.  As I have said before, there is a huge difference between being a tourist in a foreign country and being a resident.
I made myself feel better today though by setting up some baby equipment I bought second hand off a neighbour, a cute little baby rocker, a musical mobile and a great electric breast pump as I plan to breast feed as long as I can and not give up as easily as I did with the other 2.  I also was given a lovely baby swing by another friend who is leaving Thailand and so now I am pretty much set.  I am sure I am forgetting something necessary and important but I don't want to go overboard on buying things as we will only have the baby in Thailand for 3 months then we will be home in Melbourne where we will have access to all of my baby stuff in storage. Only 10 more weeks to go before our little boy arrives and now it is getting so much closer I am really starting to get excited and so is Marcus.  And I might add the baby will give me something to focus on instead of all the crappy things that happen (or don't happen) in my not so eventful days.