Another day in Thailand, but not much to report this time. I did take the kids down to Pattaya again to get out of the apartment. Did some home ware shopping. It's not as much fun as it is at home in Melbourne, all the stuff here is plastic and crap. Simple things like a cutlery holder for our knives and forks you cannot get. Our apartment came with the basics, 6 plates, bowls, cups, tea cups, place mats, 6 forks and 6 spoons. But no knives and no drawers in the kitchen to put them in!? They have been laying in one of the cupboards in a mess. Today I tried to find something to put them all in to keep some sort of order in my teeny tiny kitchen, with no oven. The only thing I could find was a basic plastic basket. I don't want to spend too much money setting up house if we only end up staying for 12 months, as I wont be able to bring any of it home with us. It seems like a waste. But I do want to make the apartment feel a bit more like home. It still feels very much like a hotel. The maids come daily and we get fresh towels and our laundry done. I have never rented a fully furnished apartment or house before so I am very aware that none of the furniture here is ours and I am paranoid the kids will damage it and we will lose our bond (which by the way is 2 months rent not 1 like back in Aust).
I am really looking forward to getting our stuff released from Customs. There are some pictures in there and lots of Judd's toys and books. Judd asks me everyday where his toys are. Poor guy, it must be hard on him. I get cranky when the kids nag and cry and its only after I lose it and yell at them (yes, even at the baby) I realise how hard this move must be for them and how strange everything is. I have to remind myself that they are only babies and everything that they knew to be familiar and normal is gone and has been replaced with strange people who talk funny, bad smells, weird food and a new house that is nothing like our old one. Oh and to top it off they would be wondering why it is so bloody hot too. I can't even imagine what it all must look like through a 3 year old eyes and here I am losing my patience and yelling at them. Talk about feeling guilty.
I looked up some information on kindergartens today, if I want him to go to a International school it will cost us over $8000 AUS for the year! Ouch, he wont be going there. But he definitely needs something, he is becoming a couch potato and watching far too much TV. I want to get him out there and socialising with other kids and playing. Otherwise he will never leave my side again. I found one in Pattaya so I will check it out and see if I can get him in for next term. The school terms are very different from home. Their end of year break is in July, and the Christmas break is just a couple of weeks between terms. Oh and there are only 3 terms each year. The uniforms they wear are adorable, I cant wait to get Judd into one. I hope I don't have to deal with too many tantrums to get him to go without me. He and Lillie are very clingy lately and very quick to cry, I don't want to add anymore stress to his life right now, but I don't want him becoming too shy and forgetting how to play with other kids.
Lillie is another matter entirely. She has gone from the perfect baby girl with big smiles and dimples, to a sooky, clingy baby who wont even let me leave the room to go to the toilet. Somewhere between Melbourne and Bangkok is my perfect girl, I need to find her and give back this monster that has taken her place.
Of course I don't mean that, but its very frustrating for me and sends my already high stress levels through the roof. She throws the biggest tantrums, with tears and snot and the saddest little face. I go from being furious and frustrated to guilty and sad within minutes. If I were at home I wouldn't tolerate a tantrum, but being here I feel for her and give in a lot faster than normal and just make the whole situation worse. I know what I should be doing, I went through it with Judd, but I just cant seem to stick to my guns over here like I would back home.
This is where I miss my girlfriends. They all have been through this or something similar and they are the best source of information a mum could ask for. I know I can email or call, but its not the same as a good whinge session one on one to get it all off my chest and then get another persons perspective. I know as time goes on I will miss them more and more.
I will just power through and hope that somewhere in the near future there will emerge 2 happy, comfortable and relaxed kids that will start to enjoy our adventure. But as we all know, they wont relax until I do.
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