I have been feeling a real lack of control lately, something which I am not used to. Since Marcus is the one with the job and we rely on the company to provide alot of what we need over here in Thailand, it is all up to him to get everything arranged. Simply things like our company car, which should have been provided the very first week we got here, but we are now into our sixth week and still no car. And not only that, I have been informed that we will be getting the bosses old car and he is getting the new one, WTF! It is such bullshit. We have been renting a hire car for the past 5 weeks with our own money, which we then are supposed to hand in all of our receipts to be reimbursed. But the problem there is that we are still waiting on the money from July's receipts to be paid and now we are handing in Augusts and our credit card is working overtime. We came here with a big pay increase with the plan to live cheap and live well. So far we have spent all of our savings, our pay is incorrect and it turns out that it is not so cheap to live over here. Quite disappointing really. And the currency exchange is so confusing, I have no idea of how much I spend every week and since we eat out every night the money just flys out of my purse. Then there is all these deposits we have had to leave everywhere, on the car, on the apartment, on our new house, on Judd's kinder, it all adds up.
My point is that I usually have some sort of control over getting results out of people, but over here I have no pull what so ever. I cant contact anyone to demand payment, I cant argue with the company over rent and Marcus' pay. I just have to nag my husband, and expect him to stand up to these people and demand some action, which of course he will not do. And this all puts strain on our relationship as well, who wants to be married to a stressed out nag? The frustrating part is that the excuse everyone gives is "This is Thailand, nothing moves fast over here!" What bullshit, when the Thais want money they don't fuck around, their hand is out quick smart and expect to be paid and then they fall into the whole 'lost in translation' game where they pretend they cannot understand you and in the end you cant be stuffed arguing and just pay up.
I cannot wait to learn Thai.
I would love to be able to email the "boss" and ask all the necessary questions, but then it makes Marcus look bad as his silly wife is becoming a pain in the ass. I am frustrated and cranky, especially when I speak to all these other expat women who have the whole package handled and paid for by their companies, and we just get dumped and expected to handle everything ourselves. I should have pushed Marcus to demand more from the contract before he signed, as his excuse now is that once a contract is signed there is no more room for negotiation. I agree but only to a certain extent. I should have printed out all their emails and then sat down and compared the initial offers to the final contract, coz in the end even the Germans pulled the 'lost in translation' game on us and we were so keen to get going we signed too quick. But I guess everyone learns from their mistakes and after 12 months when it is time to sign again I will be having a hell of alot more to do with it, and there will be no signing until this "wife" is happy.
Now don't get me wrong I am really enjoying being here, but I just want things to run smoothly and I hope that we wont have to argue about money over here, really there should be nothing to argue about.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
A very productive week
We had a very productive week last week. We did alot of house hunting and finally after looking at countless properties we settled on one. It is in a village called SP5, with about 150 other houses. It has a huge lovely communal pool, a gym, a restaurant and 24 hr security. We looked at some lovely places with private swimming pools but as Thailand don't have pool fences we were worried about Judd getting the doors open and falling into the pool or letting Lillie out. So we decided on the communal pool instead. This village has alot of expats living there, and quite a few of them are Australian. There is a play ground just one house down from us so Judd and Lillie can finally get outside and play everyday. We cant play here at the condo, there aren't any play grounds and the pool is a pain to get to. I have to drag Lillie's pram up these really steep steps and there is no shade around the pool at all.
There are 2 major stresses though in regards to moving. The first is we are being held to our rent contract at C House until the end of September, and I refuse to stay here another month so in order to move we will have to forfeit at least $600. But as I keep saying to Marcus "a happy wife means a happy life". I am really eager to start setting up house and settling the kids down. The second stress is the real estate agent who showed us around a bit is trying to claim that he introduced us to SP5 Village so he can claim the commission from the property manager. But we found SP5 ourselves, when he took us there he said that there were no house available to rent until the end of September, however when Marcus and I went back by ourselves the next day they showed us 3 properties! This guy was a real wanka, trying to do the hard sell on every house he took us to, and they were all shit. One smelled like rubbish and had mouse poo everywhere and the furniture was terrible. He didn't show us any decent houses, all the nice ones we found ourselves. The manager at SP5 doesn't like him and wants to refuse him the commission, but I am worried he will then try to bill us for his time, he is a snake and a pain in my ass.
On a brighter note I found a kindergarten for Judd, we went and had a look today and met the kids and the teachers, it is so cute, just 2 classes and 2 age groups. It is the cheaper of the international schools that I can find and Judd already knows 4 of the kids who go there. He seems to be excited about going, I hope he doesn't cry tomorrow when I drop him off. It will be so good for him to get out of the house and meet some new kids, I think I am more excited than he is. My little boy is growing up.
Yesterday we interviewed a lady for the job of our driver/nanny. She is the girlfriend of a man we met and she is looking for a job. We think it should be perfect, she has 2 children 13 and 10 yrs but they live up country with their grandparents. She only knows basic English and is eager to learn and I need to learn Thai so we can help each other. She seems to really like the kids and Lillie took to her straight away. Her role would be to drive Marcus to work, then come back and we would take Judd to Kinder then home again and she can watch Lillie while I take a couple of hours to myself, go to the gym or hair dresser or salon. Then she would have the afternoon off and then be back in time to take the car to pick Marcus up from work. Since she had her New Zealand boyfriend negotiating for her I think we are paying more, but he has factored into the price that she will have other duties than just driving. I only hope she can actually drive confidentially without swerving all over the road. Mostly I will drive anyway, I just want someone to come with me who speaks Thai and can help me with the 2 monsters. Fingers crossed it works out for us.
I will also be getting a maid service 3 times a week so once we settle down life should become quite comfortable and we can finally start living like real expats in Thailand.
We went to a night market on Friday night, Theprasit (not sure on the spelling) and I had my first food off the street vendors. A beautiful pork suvolaki with cucumber and garlic sauce, SO nice and only cost me $1.50! Then the next day I was feeling bold and bought a whole chicken off a street vendor near the 7-11 down from our new house, it was amazing and so far no one is sick. I cant wait until we are just eating Thai and not paying top dollar to buy western food. And hopefully Judd will learn to eat differently at school too.
Today I shopped at a new supermarket and for the first time bought fresh meat from the deli section. I found what looked like really yummy pork sausages, I will cook them up tonight for Judd and see how they go. This supermarket was really very clean and didn't have that stinky fish and stale meat smell that the others do, makes it easier to buy fresh food.
My next goal is to lose a bit more weight so I can fit into those lovely fisherman pants that they sell in the market stalls, long cotton pants with really wide legs. I just want something cool and loose fitting to hang about in, I love the relaxed hippie fashion over here, pretty soon I will have a whole new wardrobe.
We had dinner sat night with a lovely New Zealand family who we met through our friend, Ken who lives at C house. They were great, we had a BBQ and met another family with a small girl and she a Judd played for hours like they had known each other for years. We had the best night and didn't leave until midnight! The wife, Karen said she will show me about and also they are having a ladies weekend in Bangkok to go shopping and eat and get massages. I cant wait for that one. She is slightly older than me and has already suggested she will be our step mother and the kids can be her grandchildren. Its so nice to meet such warm and friendly people, especially when we have left all of our friends and family behind.
I am feeling quite positive about our new house, but now the annoying things of this condo are really getting to me, like right now there is someone playing really loud music down the road and it just vibrates through our apartment, I hate it! I will say it again, I CAN'T WAIT TO MOVE!
There are 2 major stresses though in regards to moving. The first is we are being held to our rent contract at C House until the end of September, and I refuse to stay here another month so in order to move we will have to forfeit at least $600. But as I keep saying to Marcus "a happy wife means a happy life". I am really eager to start setting up house and settling the kids down. The second stress is the real estate agent who showed us around a bit is trying to claim that he introduced us to SP5 Village so he can claim the commission from the property manager. But we found SP5 ourselves, when he took us there he said that there were no house available to rent until the end of September, however when Marcus and I went back by ourselves the next day they showed us 3 properties! This guy was a real wanka, trying to do the hard sell on every house he took us to, and they were all shit. One smelled like rubbish and had mouse poo everywhere and the furniture was terrible. He didn't show us any decent houses, all the nice ones we found ourselves. The manager at SP5 doesn't like him and wants to refuse him the commission, but I am worried he will then try to bill us for his time, he is a snake and a pain in my ass.
On a brighter note I found a kindergarten for Judd, we went and had a look today and met the kids and the teachers, it is so cute, just 2 classes and 2 age groups. It is the cheaper of the international schools that I can find and Judd already knows 4 of the kids who go there. He seems to be excited about going, I hope he doesn't cry tomorrow when I drop him off. It will be so good for him to get out of the house and meet some new kids, I think I am more excited than he is. My little boy is growing up.
Yesterday we interviewed a lady for the job of our driver/nanny. She is the girlfriend of a man we met and she is looking for a job. We think it should be perfect, she has 2 children 13 and 10 yrs but they live up country with their grandparents. She only knows basic English and is eager to learn and I need to learn Thai so we can help each other. She seems to really like the kids and Lillie took to her straight away. Her role would be to drive Marcus to work, then come back and we would take Judd to Kinder then home again and she can watch Lillie while I take a couple of hours to myself, go to the gym or hair dresser or salon. Then she would have the afternoon off and then be back in time to take the car to pick Marcus up from work. Since she had her New Zealand boyfriend negotiating for her I think we are paying more, but he has factored into the price that she will have other duties than just driving. I only hope she can actually drive confidentially without swerving all over the road. Mostly I will drive anyway, I just want someone to come with me who speaks Thai and can help me with the 2 monsters. Fingers crossed it works out for us.
I will also be getting a maid service 3 times a week so once we settle down life should become quite comfortable and we can finally start living like real expats in Thailand.
We went to a night market on Friday night, Theprasit (not sure on the spelling) and I had my first food off the street vendors. A beautiful pork suvolaki with cucumber and garlic sauce, SO nice and only cost me $1.50! Then the next day I was feeling bold and bought a whole chicken off a street vendor near the 7-11 down from our new house, it was amazing and so far no one is sick. I cant wait until we are just eating Thai and not paying top dollar to buy western food. And hopefully Judd will learn to eat differently at school too.
Today I shopped at a new supermarket and for the first time bought fresh meat from the deli section. I found what looked like really yummy pork sausages, I will cook them up tonight for Judd and see how they go. This supermarket was really very clean and didn't have that stinky fish and stale meat smell that the others do, makes it easier to buy fresh food.
My next goal is to lose a bit more weight so I can fit into those lovely fisherman pants that they sell in the market stalls, long cotton pants with really wide legs. I just want something cool and loose fitting to hang about in, I love the relaxed hippie fashion over here, pretty soon I will have a whole new wardrobe.
We had dinner sat night with a lovely New Zealand family who we met through our friend, Ken who lives at C house. They were great, we had a BBQ and met another family with a small girl and she a Judd played for hours like they had known each other for years. We had the best night and didn't leave until midnight! The wife, Karen said she will show me about and also they are having a ladies weekend in Bangkok to go shopping and eat and get massages. I cant wait for that one. She is slightly older than me and has already suggested she will be our step mother and the kids can be her grandchildren. Its so nice to meet such warm and friendly people, especially when we have left all of our friends and family behind.
I am feeling quite positive about our new house, but now the annoying things of this condo are really getting to me, like right now there is someone playing really loud music down the road and it just vibrates through our apartment, I hate it! I will say it again, I CAN'T WAIT TO MOVE!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
A Shock
Today, Tuesday, I took Judd and Lillie into Pattaya for their play group. I decided to go the back route for two reasons, 1 the cops where all over the highways this morning and I am scared of being pulled over and probed for a bribe. And 2, I wanted to see if it was quicker using the back streets.
Well it may be quicker but today it was more dangerous. If anyone has ever been to an Asian country they will know about the crazy way they do their electrical wiring. In Thailand it is taken to the extreme. There are cables and wires everywhere, all bundled together, criss crossing and hanging all over power poles and sometimes the on the ground. In Bangkok I saw a man with a bamboo ladder leaning on this huge mess of cables sitting, actually sitting, on the wires, and it seemed he was attaching another cable for a new shop that was being built. How on earth he wasn't killed I don't know, but there he was perched up there like a bird. Some of the newer areas, like where we live now, it is organised and the power lines look like any western country, but as you head into the older parts it gets progressively worse and worse.
Today I was in an old part of Pattaya taking a back road and all of a sudden a power line fell right in front of my car! I was quick enough to swerve into the dirt and through a makeshift car park and went around, but as I drove the cable kept unravelling and seemed to be falling in the same direction as I was driving. I came up to a big puddle of water and decided to quickly drive through it and just seconds later the cable hit it. There was a loud explosion and sparks flashed everywhere as I looked back in my rear view mirror. Wow, my heart was beating so fast. I don't know if driving over it would have sent any electricity through the car but I sure as hell didn't want to take that chance.
When I arrived at the play group I told the ladies there and one Irish lady said quite calmly, "Oh I live down that way, that probably means the power will be out when I get home". Just like it is an everyday occurrence. This country is an amazing mesh of crazy and beautiful, but at the moment I mostly see the crazy stuff. Like the other day we were driving down to Sattahip and we passed a pick up truck with no less than 11 people riding in the back, 4 of which were small children and 1 grandma was eating her lunch, flying along at 100kms p/h! Or the small tiny truck with 8 huge fat pigs all crammed into the back, jumping over each other to get some room. I had to speed up so Judd could have a look. Then there are the men who put so much weight, whether it be dirt, wood or big chunks of steel, that their tiny ute is about to split, literally in 2! One guy had 4 or 5 meter long planks of wood balanced on his truck and since it was so long, he just drove along the motorway with it dragging along the road! Or the little truck with an ELEPHANT of the back! Or the little scooters with 3 adults and 2 kids all balancing together dodging in and out of heavy traffic. Also the man with the big van who took a U Turn to sharp and rolled his van onto its side and then just stood there looking at it wondering what to do. Oh and the funniest thing, but quite clever really. When someone stops or breaks down on the road, just to make sure another car doesn't run up his ass, he walks into the bush on the side of the road, tears off the branch and places it about 5 meters behind his car, just like a traffic cone. So as you are driving along you actually notice the branch first then see the stopped car and change lanes. Not a bad idea.
Something that I really dislike though is the way they disregard the traffic signals, they run red lights as if they don't exist, just yesterday morning I drove Marcus into work and on going back I was just missed by a white ute, wheels screeching as he ran the red light and flew around the corner. Thankfully I was alert and saw him coming, he then went to the next red light and wove in and out of the stopped cars until he got to the middle of the intersection, ran that red light as well and took off. What an idiot, that is how people die, from stupidity. And that is why I am always very alert when I drive anywhere, its not the crazy rules its the one crazy nut bag who thinks he is faster and better than everyone else. They exist in every country not just here in Thailand.
Oh and to mention one last thing. It is perfectly acceptable to double park in most places around here, as long as you leave the car in neutral and the hand brake off so the person who needs to reverse out just pushes all the cars in his way along until he has a space big enough to get out. I don't know if it is legal, just like is it apparently illegal not to wear a bicycle helmet, and of course no one does. They laws here are fluid, it depends on the mood of the police officer on duty I suppose. In saying that, since I am a foreigner I will be good and abide by the rules as I am not ready to argue with a police officer in a language I don't understand, I could end up locked up or broke!
Well it may be quicker but today it was more dangerous. If anyone has ever been to an Asian country they will know about the crazy way they do their electrical wiring. In Thailand it is taken to the extreme. There are cables and wires everywhere, all bundled together, criss crossing and hanging all over power poles and sometimes the on the ground. In Bangkok I saw a man with a bamboo ladder leaning on this huge mess of cables sitting, actually sitting, on the wires, and it seemed he was attaching another cable for a new shop that was being built. How on earth he wasn't killed I don't know, but there he was perched up there like a bird. Some of the newer areas, like where we live now, it is organised and the power lines look like any western country, but as you head into the older parts it gets progressively worse and worse.
Today I was in an old part of Pattaya taking a back road and all of a sudden a power line fell right in front of my car! I was quick enough to swerve into the dirt and through a makeshift car park and went around, but as I drove the cable kept unravelling and seemed to be falling in the same direction as I was driving. I came up to a big puddle of water and decided to quickly drive through it and just seconds later the cable hit it. There was a loud explosion and sparks flashed everywhere as I looked back in my rear view mirror. Wow, my heart was beating so fast. I don't know if driving over it would have sent any electricity through the car but I sure as hell didn't want to take that chance.
When I arrived at the play group I told the ladies there and one Irish lady said quite calmly, "Oh I live down that way, that probably means the power will be out when I get home". Just like it is an everyday occurrence. This country is an amazing mesh of crazy and beautiful, but at the moment I mostly see the crazy stuff. Like the other day we were driving down to Sattahip and we passed a pick up truck with no less than 11 people riding in the back, 4 of which were small children and 1 grandma was eating her lunch, flying along at 100kms p/h! Or the small tiny truck with 8 huge fat pigs all crammed into the back, jumping over each other to get some room. I had to speed up so Judd could have a look. Then there are the men who put so much weight, whether it be dirt, wood or big chunks of steel, that their tiny ute is about to split, literally in 2! One guy had 4 or 5 meter long planks of wood balanced on his truck and since it was so long, he just drove along the motorway with it dragging along the road! Or the little truck with an ELEPHANT of the back! Or the little scooters with 3 adults and 2 kids all balancing together dodging in and out of heavy traffic. Also the man with the big van who took a U Turn to sharp and rolled his van onto its side and then just stood there looking at it wondering what to do. Oh and the funniest thing, but quite clever really. When someone stops or breaks down on the road, just to make sure another car doesn't run up his ass, he walks into the bush on the side of the road, tears off the branch and places it about 5 meters behind his car, just like a traffic cone. So as you are driving along you actually notice the branch first then see the stopped car and change lanes. Not a bad idea.
Something that I really dislike though is the way they disregard the traffic signals, they run red lights as if they don't exist, just yesterday morning I drove Marcus into work and on going back I was just missed by a white ute, wheels screeching as he ran the red light and flew around the corner. Thankfully I was alert and saw him coming, he then went to the next red light and wove in and out of the stopped cars until he got to the middle of the intersection, ran that red light as well and took off. What an idiot, that is how people die, from stupidity. And that is why I am always very alert when I drive anywhere, its not the crazy rules its the one crazy nut bag who thinks he is faster and better than everyone else. They exist in every country not just here in Thailand.
Oh and to mention one last thing. It is perfectly acceptable to double park in most places around here, as long as you leave the car in neutral and the hand brake off so the person who needs to reverse out just pushes all the cars in his way along until he has a space big enough to get out. I don't know if it is legal, just like is it apparently illegal not to wear a bicycle helmet, and of course no one does. They laws here are fluid, it depends on the mood of the police officer on duty I suppose. In saying that, since I am a foreigner I will be good and abide by the rules as I am not ready to argue with a police officer in a language I don't understand, I could end up locked up or broke!
House Hunting in Pattaya
A busy weekend. Friday Marcus took a half day and we went to look at some houses with a real estate agent. What a joke, he only showed us crappy places, dirty and run down in villages that had not kept up their maintenance. At each one he said "wow this is nice, oh wow, yeah this is nice!" What a wanker! He was an Amercian man whose Thai wife owned a real estate business. We told him of the villages we would prefer to live, but since he doesn't get commission on houses that aren't on his books he avoided those. After ditching the agent we drove into Pattaya to do some shopping at Central Festival. Of course we got lost, it was peak hour and the traffic was maddening. Marcus cannot accept the way the Thais create grid lock by cramming 5 cars into 2 lanes of traffic. I have come to accept it, I think they are stupid of course but I just avoid peak hour and it is much more manageable. Marcus just kept getting cut which was not a good start considering he hates shopping to begin with. We eventually found it after doing a few U-turns and as usual with Marcus in tow we just walk around and around not buying anything. He says, "ooh I really want one of those" and I say "well if you want it, buy it" and he just walks on. Its only until we get home he says "if you are at the shops this week can you find me a pair of those shoes?" So frustrating, damn it if you want something just buy it, we have moved here with nothing so it is acceptable to spend a bit of money to get comfortable again. I don't want to feel like I am living out of a suitcase the whole time i am here, just making do.
Saturday, Sue and James (the in laws) came for a very quick visit. They had a 14 hour stop over in Bangkok so Marcus drove up and brought them back here. It was good to see a familiar face and the kids loved having them here. For such a short visit it was still a really nice day. However when Munch and Judd took them back to Bangkok he got lost on his way home and what should have been a 90min trip took 3 hours. I was freaking out, what if they run off the road or something, I wouldn't know where to send the police looking for them because Marcus didn't even know where he was. It was dark, late, he speaks no Thai at all and on top of all that he had my baby boy with him. Finally at about 11pm he came home. I think we really need to start learning more of the language now, its ok when you are about town, but when you drive up country away from the tourists you are on your own.
Sunday, we went house hunting again with the American, again he showed us dives. I don't think he has any idea of what nice is, least of all clean. The Thai's are quite superstitious, they believe in ghosts and bad spirits, so they like to buy new if possible, which means when a house or apartment starts to run down after 5 years, they don't renovate or fix it up they just pack up and find something new. Which is why there are so many properties here that just end up in ruin, no one bothers to clean them up. A shame really, it makes the cities really dirty looking. And of course they render everything in white, so after 6 months of rain and mould, it looks filthy and black. Or they paint them pale pink or some other awful pastel colour. Also after the big 1997 financial crash in Thailand alot of builders went broke halfway into their projects, so instead of selling it off or finishing it, they just up and walked away. There are something like over 800 half built, empty buildings in Bangkok alone, everywhere you look. Its a shame.
Saturday, Sue and James (the in laws) came for a very quick visit. They had a 14 hour stop over in Bangkok so Marcus drove up and brought them back here. It was good to see a familiar face and the kids loved having them here. For such a short visit it was still a really nice day. However when Munch and Judd took them back to Bangkok he got lost on his way home and what should have been a 90min trip took 3 hours. I was freaking out, what if they run off the road or something, I wouldn't know where to send the police looking for them because Marcus didn't even know where he was. It was dark, late, he speaks no Thai at all and on top of all that he had my baby boy with him. Finally at about 11pm he came home. I think we really need to start learning more of the language now, its ok when you are about town, but when you drive up country away from the tourists you are on your own.
Sunday, we went house hunting again with the American, again he showed us dives. I don't think he has any idea of what nice is, least of all clean. The Thai's are quite superstitious, they believe in ghosts and bad spirits, so they like to buy new if possible, which means when a house or apartment starts to run down after 5 years, they don't renovate or fix it up they just pack up and find something new. Which is why there are so many properties here that just end up in ruin, no one bothers to clean them up. A shame really, it makes the cities really dirty looking. And of course they render everything in white, so after 6 months of rain and mould, it looks filthy and black. Or they paint them pale pink or some other awful pastel colour. Also after the big 1997 financial crash in Thailand alot of builders went broke halfway into their projects, so instead of selling it off or finishing it, they just up and walked away. There are something like over 800 half built, empty buildings in Bangkok alone, everywhere you look. Its a shame.
Friday, August 20, 2010
A bad day turned into a good week.
Thankfully after my horrendous day on Monday my week improved. Tuesday I took Judd and Lillie to a play group in Pattaya called Wiggle Town. It was great. There were about 10 mums from all over the world. There were Germans, Russian, British, Australian and a couple of others I couldn't place. All the kids played really well together and surprisingly Judd joined in straight away. As usual a couple of the little girls wouldn't share and it breaks my heart to see the look on Judd's face when kids reject him. It is so hard to just sit by and not step in and tell the kids off, but I know this happens all the time in play grounds and Judd needs to learn to brush it off and play with nicer kids. In the end he will have way more fun than the bullies will. He actually handled it really well and made a couple of new friends. Lillie of course just cruised around playing with everything and it was so nice to take her somewhere where she couldn't get herself into trouble and I can just sit back and watch. She is turning into a little climbing monkey, at one point she fell into the ball pit and got stuck, but she just laughed at me and sunk even deeper until I had to pull her out. It is good to see her relaxed again, I was worried when we first got here she was so sad all the time, but now she is happy and back to her good old self again.
I met a couple of the mums. Something which doesn't come naturally to me, I am quite shy around strangers (unless I have a couple of wines) and it galls me that I cannot walk up to someone and start a conversation. I mean kids are the best ice breakers, all else fails you just talk about your children, but even that is hard for me. If it wasn't for the lady who runs the program introducing me, I don't think I would have worked up the courage to speak to anyone, apart from the polite "hello".
Anyhow, I got a bit more advice on where to shop and on some good kindergartens. They are all expats who are here with their husbands on contracts, and a few of them have chosen to extend their stay indefinitely. A couple even had new born babies with them. It was good to talk to other women, apart from the cleaning ladies who only speak broken English, I don't get to talk to anyone most days. They all spoke about their nannies and maids helping with the kids and how they fill their days with Yoga and shopping and other lovely things.
I took one ladies advice and found a huge shopping center called Central Festival on Beach Rd. WOW! It is huge, I was in heaven. Apart from arriving at 10:15am, normal time for most countries, we were told the center doesn't open until 11:00am. I had driven 30mins to get there, Lillie was hungry and tired and Judd was bored so I decided to wait it out. Unfortunately we were asked to wait on a bench right in front of the Toys R Us store. Not good, Judd nagged me the whole time "mama is it open yet? mama is it open yet?" So naturally once it opened we had to go in, but it didn't last long, once I did the currency conversion and realised that all the toys were almost double the price they would be back in Aust. I quickly got the kids out of there before he set his eyes onto something. This of course brought on a tantrum, but I am getting good at dispelling these before they get going, I promised him KFC if he was a good boy.
Since we wasted most the morning driving and then waiting, we had to leave but I decided I would be back without the kids, I could do some serious shopping in this place.
Today we are going house hunting. I am so excited, I almost want to have a glass of wine to celebrate. Speaking of wine, pretty much all of it is imported here, so when I would usually spend $6.00 on a lovely sauvignon blanc back home, it cost me more than double that here. But it was worth it, I am sick of drinking those sugar vodka drinks or barcardi breezers, I have been thirsty for a wine for weeks. I had a lovely glass last night and Marcus turned to me and said "Al I think we should watch the football and get drunk of Friday". How funny.
But not a bad idea though, we have been fighting alot lately. Judd's behaviour (which is acceptable considering what he has been through lately) has been a sore topic between us. We disagree on how to discipline him. We don't like to smack, I don't believe it works, but how many times can you ask a kid not to do something and get ignored? I am on edge alot too, being stuck inside, no friends and then when Marcus gets home it is crazy hour. The kids need to be bathed, fed and put to bed and somewhere in all that we need to find time to talk to each other. And because the roosters have me up a dawn I am ready to crash myself. I think alot of it is boredom. We watch way too much TV and movies and since there is no playground or back yard to play in we are all a little bit crazy by the time Marcus gets home. It will all probably get crazy again when we move house as everything will be new and different again and take some time to get used to. But I know with time, we will all settle down, find a new routine, one with less stress and way more fun and we will hopefully start to see the benefits of moving all this way. We have also been recommended a driver from a friends colleague. It is a lady, so she may be able to help me with the kids and shopping and stuff which will be a big help, otherwise I will get a maid/nanny to come and help out. I may as well make the most of living here.
When talking to friends about our trip before we left Melbourne, I said we will either come back more in love or divorced. At the moment I can understand the stress that big changes like this can bring to a marriage and how difficult it can be to talk it out, but I guess that is all part of the challenge, if we can survive this move I think our marriage stands a pretty good chance of making the distance.
I met a couple of the mums. Something which doesn't come naturally to me, I am quite shy around strangers (unless I have a couple of wines) and it galls me that I cannot walk up to someone and start a conversation. I mean kids are the best ice breakers, all else fails you just talk about your children, but even that is hard for me. If it wasn't for the lady who runs the program introducing me, I don't think I would have worked up the courage to speak to anyone, apart from the polite "hello".
Anyhow, I got a bit more advice on where to shop and on some good kindergartens. They are all expats who are here with their husbands on contracts, and a few of them have chosen to extend their stay indefinitely. A couple even had new born babies with them. It was good to talk to other women, apart from the cleaning ladies who only speak broken English, I don't get to talk to anyone most days. They all spoke about their nannies and maids helping with the kids and how they fill their days with Yoga and shopping and other lovely things.
I took one ladies advice and found a huge shopping center called Central Festival on Beach Rd. WOW! It is huge, I was in heaven. Apart from arriving at 10:15am, normal time for most countries, we were told the center doesn't open until 11:00am. I had driven 30mins to get there, Lillie was hungry and tired and Judd was bored so I decided to wait it out. Unfortunately we were asked to wait on a bench right in front of the Toys R Us store. Not good, Judd nagged me the whole time "mama is it open yet? mama is it open yet?" So naturally once it opened we had to go in, but it didn't last long, once I did the currency conversion and realised that all the toys were almost double the price they would be back in Aust. I quickly got the kids out of there before he set his eyes onto something. This of course brought on a tantrum, but I am getting good at dispelling these before they get going, I promised him KFC if he was a good boy.
Since we wasted most the morning driving and then waiting, we had to leave but I decided I would be back without the kids, I could do some serious shopping in this place.
Today we are going house hunting. I am so excited, I almost want to have a glass of wine to celebrate. Speaking of wine, pretty much all of it is imported here, so when I would usually spend $6.00 on a lovely sauvignon blanc back home, it cost me more than double that here. But it was worth it, I am sick of drinking those sugar vodka drinks or barcardi breezers, I have been thirsty for a wine for weeks. I had a lovely glass last night and Marcus turned to me and said "Al I think we should watch the football and get drunk of Friday". How funny.
But not a bad idea though, we have been fighting alot lately. Judd's behaviour (which is acceptable considering what he has been through lately) has been a sore topic between us. We disagree on how to discipline him. We don't like to smack, I don't believe it works, but how many times can you ask a kid not to do something and get ignored? I am on edge alot too, being stuck inside, no friends and then when Marcus gets home it is crazy hour. The kids need to be bathed, fed and put to bed and somewhere in all that we need to find time to talk to each other. And because the roosters have me up a dawn I am ready to crash myself. I think alot of it is boredom. We watch way too much TV and movies and since there is no playground or back yard to play in we are all a little bit crazy by the time Marcus gets home. It will all probably get crazy again when we move house as everything will be new and different again and take some time to get used to. But I know with time, we will all settle down, find a new routine, one with less stress and way more fun and we will hopefully start to see the benefits of moving all this way. We have also been recommended a driver from a friends colleague. It is a lady, so she may be able to help me with the kids and shopping and stuff which will be a big help, otherwise I will get a maid/nanny to come and help out. I may as well make the most of living here.
When talking to friends about our trip before we left Melbourne, I said we will either come back more in love or divorced. At the moment I can understand the stress that big changes like this can bring to a marriage and how difficult it can be to talk it out, but I guess that is all part of the challenge, if we can survive this move I think our marriage stands a pretty good chance of making the distance.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Not coping today
Well today I attempted to get the kids out of the house and into town for some supplies. Not a good idea. I am still not better from being sick yesterday and my stomach cramps up often (luckily that is all) but combine the pain with the intense heat and sweating and you get a very, very cranky and short tempered mommy. I really tried not to nag Judd today, but he constantly ignores me and disappears behind racks and makes me stop and search for him. I just wish he would listen and do what I ask the first time, not after I ask 5 times then lose my patience and snap and yell at him and threaten with the naughty spot or a smack. I hate the sound of my own voice sometimes. I also hate having to snap at him at the shops, the Thais look at me like I am a big cranky white monster who yells and frowns all the time. My whole intention of making this trip was to learn to relax, take more time to play and teach the kids and to just plain chill out. But I didn't take into consideration the cabin fever we all would get being stuck so far from civilisation and sunlight in this apartment. It is all too hard to head down to the pool, there is no play area for Lillie and no pool fence so she just walks straight into the water. This is not a child friendly place, in fact none of Thailand, that I have seen, is child friendly. Even their high chairs at the restaurants are just small stools with no straps. Lillie nearly cracked her head on a table the other day when she pushed on the table and rocked the stool away. It was dumb luck that I caught her just before she fell. Gave me a heart attack. There are no ramps for prams, the sidewalks are full of holes and very narrow. The pram always gets stuck. Now I know why the Thais mostly only have one kid, its too hard to get around this place with any more than that.
I am also breaking all my rules of parenting since being here. I took them on the back of a "truck bus" on Koh Samet, something I swore I never would do. But we had no choice as it was the only mode of transportation on the island, that or a motorbike. Today I took Lillie in the pram down an stair escalator, balancing on 2 wheels trying not to drop her while I sent Judd down by himself, praying he wouldn't fall. The escalators here are really fast compared to at home, you have to jump on and off real quick, and too bad if you are in a wheelchair, you just miss out.
Basically after this morning I was hating this place and really wanting to pack it in and fly back to Melbourne where the temperatures are normal and I don't break into a sweat opening a car door.
But, luckily when I got home there was a nice email from a play center I was told about inviting me to bring Judd and Lillie to a play group tomorrow for a few hours. Its not very cheap but I don't mind as long as it gets us out of this apartment and entertains the kids for a bit. I also heard back form a kindergarten to go and have a look. I think it would be a good idea to create a play routine for us so everyday we have somewhere to go (other than the supermarkets) and along the way make some new friends. Otherwise this trip may end before it even starts.
My other dilemma today is coming to terms with what my role is over here. I don't have anything to do, the cleaners come everyday, most of the laundry is done for me and we don't cook any meals here. Something I am over, all I want to do is cook a nice meal for the family and sit at our dining table and eat it peacefully. When we eat at the restaurant the kids run around like mad, I can't yell at them as the staff will think I am a physco bitch, and we are always the only people eating there. The other tenants here are all single men, who either work late or eat off the streets (where it is way cheaper) but not convenient for us. I am quite intimidated by all the food markets and vendors, I have no idea what to buy or ask for or what I would end up eating and I can't bear to get sick again.
When I was in Melbourne I had a firm idea of what my role was as mother and wife, but over here most of my duties have been removed and I am feeling a bit lost. The simple act of finding some books for Judd to read or some learning toys for Lillie is really difficult. I may have gotten myself a car and learnt where a few shops were, but really I have absolutely no idea of where anything is. I think I need to enrol myself into a Thai Language school and start learning the language, if I can break that barrier it will make it easier to ask simple things like "fill up the petrol tank please" and "where can I buy English books?"
Before I left I wanted to learn but I was told by many people that there are enough people here that know enough English for me to get by. That may be true if you are living in a tourist town or island like Phuket or Bangkok, but not out here. The further you get form town the less English is spoken and more and more we realise how alone we really are. I mean I wouldn't even know how to ask for help if I broke down, or who to call. Things we take for granted at home become real challenges here.
It has been suggested we get a nanny, but if I don't have anything to do now, imagine how bored I would be if I had someone doing all of my mothering as well!
I feel a huge dose of Culture Shock coming on, I best brace myself and Marcus better look out too as he will be the one to cop it.
I am also breaking all my rules of parenting since being here. I took them on the back of a "truck bus" on Koh Samet, something I swore I never would do. But we had no choice as it was the only mode of transportation on the island, that or a motorbike. Today I took Lillie in the pram down an stair escalator, balancing on 2 wheels trying not to drop her while I sent Judd down by himself, praying he wouldn't fall. The escalators here are really fast compared to at home, you have to jump on and off real quick, and too bad if you are in a wheelchair, you just miss out.
Basically after this morning I was hating this place and really wanting to pack it in and fly back to Melbourne where the temperatures are normal and I don't break into a sweat opening a car door.
But, luckily when I got home there was a nice email from a play center I was told about inviting me to bring Judd and Lillie to a play group tomorrow for a few hours. Its not very cheap but I don't mind as long as it gets us out of this apartment and entertains the kids for a bit. I also heard back form a kindergarten to go and have a look. I think it would be a good idea to create a play routine for us so everyday we have somewhere to go (other than the supermarkets) and along the way make some new friends. Otherwise this trip may end before it even starts.
My other dilemma today is coming to terms with what my role is over here. I don't have anything to do, the cleaners come everyday, most of the laundry is done for me and we don't cook any meals here. Something I am over, all I want to do is cook a nice meal for the family and sit at our dining table and eat it peacefully. When we eat at the restaurant the kids run around like mad, I can't yell at them as the staff will think I am a physco bitch, and we are always the only people eating there. The other tenants here are all single men, who either work late or eat off the streets (where it is way cheaper) but not convenient for us. I am quite intimidated by all the food markets and vendors, I have no idea what to buy or ask for or what I would end up eating and I can't bear to get sick again.
When I was in Melbourne I had a firm idea of what my role was as mother and wife, but over here most of my duties have been removed and I am feeling a bit lost. The simple act of finding some books for Judd to read or some learning toys for Lillie is really difficult. I may have gotten myself a car and learnt where a few shops were, but really I have absolutely no idea of where anything is. I think I need to enrol myself into a Thai Language school and start learning the language, if I can break that barrier it will make it easier to ask simple things like "fill up the petrol tank please" and "where can I buy English books?"
Before I left I wanted to learn but I was told by many people that there are enough people here that know enough English for me to get by. That may be true if you are living in a tourist town or island like Phuket or Bangkok, but not out here. The further you get form town the less English is spoken and more and more we realise how alone we really are. I mean I wouldn't even know how to ask for help if I broke down, or who to call. Things we take for granted at home become real challenges here.
It has been suggested we get a nanny, but if I don't have anything to do now, imagine how bored I would be if I had someone doing all of my mothering as well!
I feel a huge dose of Culture Shock coming on, I best brace myself and Marcus better look out too as he will be the one to cop it.
Koh Samet
This weekend was the Queen's Birthday so we were lucky enough to get a 4 day long weekend. Great timing as we were starting to get a bit stale stuck inside the apartment and our only trips out are to the supermarket. I decided last minute to book a bungalow on Koh Samet Island, just off the coast of Rayong, about an hour and a half drive from here and a 20 min (slow) ferry ride. Being a long weekend it was just luck that I scored the last room on what looked to be a nice yet modestly priced resort. So first thing Thursday morning we set off and by 12pm we were arrived and checked in and in the pool. They work so quickly considering the language barrier, but for the bargain price of $98 Aust. per night including breakfast each morning and an unexpected upgrade to a pool side and much larger room I think we did very well. It was slightly overcast, but its like that everyday here at the moment as it is the wet season, it was still over 35 degrees everyday. The pool was amazing, the perfect depth for Judd to play without drowning and a pool bar right in the middle to cater for everything we needed. We stayed by the pool all day. I ordered far too many Long Island Ice Tea's and by dinner time I was beyond tiddly. Our first dinner was at the resort, a over priced buffet that wasn't very nice except for an amazing shallot and ham soup, we had 2 bowls each and had to force ourselves to stop. We popped the kids to bed and crashed out ourselves, unfortunately my slumber didn't last long. There was a big storm that night and knocked out all the power on the island which meant my airconditioning crapped out as well. So I spent the night sweating and worried that Lillie would wake up too hot and then my night would really turn to shit. Thankfully she slept straight through, everyone did except me of course.
Our second day I woke up grumpy and hot but we had a lovely breakfast, headed to the beach for a swim then went back to give the kids a sleep and I went to my Spa appointment. Ahhhh! 2 hours of bliss. I combined a traditional Thai massage with a Thai herbal heat massage. So the pain of the first one was eased with the heat packed being whacked all over me. Of course I fell asleep during this part. I was surprised at how limber the masseuse was, she was climbing all over the massage table, using her feet and legs and sitting underneath my legs. But she did it in a way that you don't even realise she is there. Before I knew it the 2 hours was up and I didn't want to leave, I was so comfortable.
After an afternoon of swimming and eating (no drinking though, had enough the day before) we were told about all the restaurants along the foreshore and the fire show. So we headed down the beach and were amazed to see so many people. Only that morning it was quiet and peaceful, but now there were people everywhere, swimming running, eating at the many restaurants that seemed to pop out of nowhere. We walked along until we found one called the Phoy BBQ and they didn't have the traditional table and chairs. Instead there were all these bean bag seats with low tables out on mats on the sand. Interesting. But after 5 Min's we realised how comfy and great they were and the kids could play and run about. The prices were much more reasonable here, so we ordered a heap of seafood and Marcus got his favourite noodle dish. Judd ordered his usual of rice and cucumber, luckily we learnt how to say his food in Thai which makes it very easy when eating at places where English is harder to come by. Our food was amazing, yet simple. Marcus was in heaven with his noodles.
We then sat around and people watched until the Fire Show started. It was awesome, these young shirtless, good looking Thai men, all with six pack abs twirling and tossing these fire sticks into the air. One guy was even spinning it around his neck, then they would toss them up and make huge fire balls. Luckily we were warned to sit back from the front rows as the fire is really hot as we even felt its heat from where we were towards the back. Judd loved it, he called them Fire Dragons. I tried to get good photos but being so dark it was hard to catch a good shot. Sadly we had to leave mid show as the kids were well and truly past their bed time and starting to get feral.
We wandered back to the resort, passing all the young couples just beginning their evening as ours was ending. It can be hard when you have young children and all you want to do is stay out past 9pm, but I guess they are only this small for such a short time it is worth the sacrifice and they are also saving me from a nasty hangover.
The next morning after a much better nights sleep we woke up to a rainy, damp day so decided to pack up and head home. Good decision considering that afternoon I got a tummy bug from something I ate and have been sick since. Despite the food poisoning it was a great weekend, something we really needed. Being so far from town where we are living it doesn't feel much like we are living in a tropical paradise. So to be able to get out and experience some of what all the tourists do was a nice reminder of why we moved here.
Our second day I woke up grumpy and hot but we had a lovely breakfast, headed to the beach for a swim then went back to give the kids a sleep and I went to my Spa appointment. Ahhhh! 2 hours of bliss. I combined a traditional Thai massage with a Thai herbal heat massage. So the pain of the first one was eased with the heat packed being whacked all over me. Of course I fell asleep during this part. I was surprised at how limber the masseuse was, she was climbing all over the massage table, using her feet and legs and sitting underneath my legs. But she did it in a way that you don't even realise she is there. Before I knew it the 2 hours was up and I didn't want to leave, I was so comfortable.
After an afternoon of swimming and eating (no drinking though, had enough the day before) we were told about all the restaurants along the foreshore and the fire show. So we headed down the beach and were amazed to see so many people. Only that morning it was quiet and peaceful, but now there were people everywhere, swimming running, eating at the many restaurants that seemed to pop out of nowhere. We walked along until we found one called the Phoy BBQ and they didn't have the traditional table and chairs. Instead there were all these bean bag seats with low tables out on mats on the sand. Interesting. But after 5 Min's we realised how comfy and great they were and the kids could play and run about. The prices were much more reasonable here, so we ordered a heap of seafood and Marcus got his favourite noodle dish. Judd ordered his usual of rice and cucumber, luckily we learnt how to say his food in Thai which makes it very easy when eating at places where English is harder to come by. Our food was amazing, yet simple. Marcus was in heaven with his noodles.
We then sat around and people watched until the Fire Show started. It was awesome, these young shirtless, good looking Thai men, all with six pack abs twirling and tossing these fire sticks into the air. One guy was even spinning it around his neck, then they would toss them up and make huge fire balls. Luckily we were warned to sit back from the front rows as the fire is really hot as we even felt its heat from where we were towards the back. Judd loved it, he called them Fire Dragons. I tried to get good photos but being so dark it was hard to catch a good shot. Sadly we had to leave mid show as the kids were well and truly past their bed time and starting to get feral.
We wandered back to the resort, passing all the young couples just beginning their evening as ours was ending. It can be hard when you have young children and all you want to do is stay out past 9pm, but I guess they are only this small for such a short time it is worth the sacrifice and they are also saving me from a nasty hangover.
The next morning after a much better nights sleep we woke up to a rainy, damp day so decided to pack up and head home. Good decision considering that afternoon I got a tummy bug from something I ate and have been sick since. Despite the food poisoning it was a great weekend, something we really needed. Being so far from town where we are living it doesn't feel much like we are living in a tropical paradise. So to be able to get out and experience some of what all the tourists do was a nice reminder of why we moved here.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Our Second Weekend
Week 2 in Thailand went quite quickly. Having a car and learning the town was great fun for me. I feel quite confident about driving now, I can even show Marcus where to go. We decided on Saturday to take a drive down the coast to Rayong. This would have been simple for most places, but this is Thailand and the maps only show the main roads and the occasional landmark. So the easy trip turned out to be full of arguments, as I was the navigator and Marcus was the driver, a recipe for disaster, I should have know better. After driving up and down and trying to avoid the men on motorbikes who were trying to show us the way, even though we didn't ask them to and they didn't know where we wanted to go. We eventually drove way past Rayong and into a tiny seaside town called Ban Phe. It was very quiet along this beach in most parts, as it was an overcast and rainy day, not the best for a beach trip, but hey we are Melbournians, we go to the beach any time. As we drove along I spotted what looked to be a small kids playground (the first I have seen since arriving in Thailand) and a young Thai boy playing basketball with his 'farang' father. Jackpot, we could finally give Judd something to play on and possibly a friend to play with. Marcus pulled over, jumped out with Judd and immediately introduced himself to the man and within 15 Min's they were having a beer together, despite it being 11am in the morning. Judd made friends straight away and we ended up staying with this family for 4 hours. The kids played basketball, soccer, they had a swim and we had an amazing lunch of rice and pork and a few more beers. The ladies that owned the hut took Lillie for a play and we got to relax and ask this nice man all about Thailand. It turned out he was from Sweden and had lived in Thailand for years. He sells condos in Ban Phe, very cheap too. We worked out we could buy one for about $30000 Aust. Studio apartment of course, but hey for a holiday spot, why not?
After a while it got really windy so we packed up, the ladies hosed Lillie off as she was covered in salt and sand and we headed home. Lillie was asleep within 2 Min's. We wandered back up the coast and found a resort I had seen on a website, Rayong Beach Resort. Nice place, we want to book a couple of nights there for next weekend or head over to an island called Samet. It is meant to be the nicest island in all of Thailand. How convenient.
The next morning, Sunday. Judd woke us up at 6am, so by 9am we were itching to get out of the apartment. We drove into Pattaya. Marcus wanted to check out the northern beaches and pubs. Despite the early hour there were people everywhere, the 'farangs' were all out jogging and walking and the Thais were cleaning up from the night before. Judd had to go to the toilet and was having a massive tantrum so we popped into a restaurant who just happened to be serving a lovely buffet breakfast. We got a table right along the street and Marcus took Judd to the bathroom. When they came back he told me he knew why Judd was acting up so badly, the poop he took would have made an adult cry. Poor guy, he didn't even say he had a belly ache, he just kept crying that he didn't want to walk and he wanted to go home. I felt bad for getting angry with him. After a lovely brunch, we walked back along the street and I made my very first purchase off the street vendors. A lovely fake pair of Prada sunglasses. My own had broke only that morning and I could barely keep my eyes open from the glare. We were all in a much better mood, and decided to check out a local shopping centre. All week I wanted Marcus to shop with me so he could watch the kids for me. But it turns out it is much more fun shopping with 2 screaming kids than with a bored husband. I will have to have a chat with him about this. Shopping is something I love, but I don't like to do it alone and since he is my only friend here at the moment he is going to have to put aside his hatred for it and accompany me without complaining. I don't like my chances though. We did make one very valuable purchase which made the exercise worthwhile. Marcus bought a music CD for the car. We couldn't tolerate anymore Thai radio with crap music and stations that don't stay tuned in. We got this great CD for about $3 and it has 50 party songs on it. Great old stuff, but when I say 'old' I mean 80's and 90's. Put us in a great mood for the drive home. The kids slept so when we got back we went for a swim and a relax before heading back into Pattaya for dinner. The nice New Zealand man who lives here invited us to a pub on Beach Road in Pattaya called Gulliver's. Driving in at night was a challenge but we got there, found a park (which you don't have to pay for or worry about being towed) and headed in for dinner. We were joined by our NZ friend and 2 ofalot of tourists out at this hour and as we dined outside we people watched and felt more and more like we fitted in. We finished up about 9.30 and the kids were really tired. I wanted to stay and have a couple more Long Island Ice teas, but I felt like a bad mum, sitting in a pub with 2 kids while the young male tourists hung out with their even younger Thai girlfriends they picked up the night before in Walking Street. I mean it wasn't seedy or dodgy in anyway, but it was getting late and the night life was starting to pick up. It was time for us to go home. Of course though we got lost on the drive home, we ended up in some dead end in the middle of Pattaya, but by some stroke of luck Marcus got us out of there and back onto the motorway.
I felt really good after our night out. I was a bit apprehensive about going onto Pattaya's beach road at night with the kids, but the seedy sex part of town was much further down and the girlie bars just look like regular bars with people dancing and drinking, its not until you look closely that you see the fat old white men with the young Thai girl next to him that it becomes clear what is going on. Judd and Lillie didn't get to see any of that as they were fast asleep in the car as we drove past.
Marcus and I do however want to find a weekend nanny, of sorts, to babysit on Saturday nights so we can have some time out by ourselves. Check out the array of different restaurants and great food and bars with live music.
As each day goes by I relax more and more. That is of course until the Pickup Utes with the rear packed FULL of speakers rock up to the 7-11 just up the road at 4am and BLAST their dance music into the night air. They even have 2 pickups next to each other some nights, blasting their music, but playing 2 completely different songs. What wankers!
The Thais love really loud music, honestly they must all be half deaf. Its not that they don't understand you, they bloody can't hear you. As I type this right now there is the doof doof of bass floating through the air and into my very sensitive ears. There is one thing in this world that I cannot stand and will never be able to ignore, is other people forcing their loud music on me.
"I don't want to hear your crap music so turn it down!" I scream at them in my head, since I cannot get up and yell it off the balcony. I would then just become the crazy white woman who yells at people.
One of my personal goals while living in Thailand is to become more tolerant and I guess more ignorant of people and their behaviour. I want to be able to be like Marcus who can fall fast asleep regardless of whatever noise is outside. He says he doesn't even notice the music until I mention it. The only way I can tune it out is to put ear plugs deep inside my ears so I cannot hear anything except my own heartbeat.
There is a part of what they teach in meditation classes about calming the mind of all your thoughts and outside distractions. They say rather than to try and think of nothing, which for most is impossible, you allow your mind to have your thoughts, you acknowledge those thoughts and you move on straight away. You acknowledge that, Yes there is noise outside the window, I acknowledge that fact, but I will not focus on it, I will let that thought go.
HA, easier for some I think. But I will try, that is an ultimate goal for me, to unwind, relax and enjoy life in a much more slower and calmer way and not to let other peoples behavior and actions distract and bother me.
After a while it got really windy so we packed up, the ladies hosed Lillie off as she was covered in salt and sand and we headed home. Lillie was asleep within 2 Min's. We wandered back up the coast and found a resort I had seen on a website, Rayong Beach Resort. Nice place, we want to book a couple of nights there for next weekend or head over to an island called Samet. It is meant to be the nicest island in all of Thailand. How convenient.
The next morning, Sunday. Judd woke us up at 6am, so by 9am we were itching to get out of the apartment. We drove into Pattaya. Marcus wanted to check out the northern beaches and pubs. Despite the early hour there were people everywhere, the 'farangs' were all out jogging and walking and the Thais were cleaning up from the night before. Judd had to go to the toilet and was having a massive tantrum so we popped into a restaurant who just happened to be serving a lovely buffet breakfast. We got a table right along the street and Marcus took Judd to the bathroom. When they came back he told me he knew why Judd was acting up so badly, the poop he took would have made an adult cry. Poor guy, he didn't even say he had a belly ache, he just kept crying that he didn't want to walk and he wanted to go home. I felt bad for getting angry with him. After a lovely brunch, we walked back along the street and I made my very first purchase off the street vendors. A lovely fake pair of Prada sunglasses. My own had broke only that morning and I could barely keep my eyes open from the glare. We were all in a much better mood, and decided to check out a local shopping centre. All week I wanted Marcus to shop with me so he could watch the kids for me. But it turns out it is much more fun shopping with 2 screaming kids than with a bored husband. I will have to have a chat with him about this. Shopping is something I love, but I don't like to do it alone and since he is my only friend here at the moment he is going to have to put aside his hatred for it and accompany me without complaining. I don't like my chances though. We did make one very valuable purchase which made the exercise worthwhile. Marcus bought a music CD for the car. We couldn't tolerate anymore Thai radio with crap music and stations that don't stay tuned in. We got this great CD for about $3 and it has 50 party songs on it. Great old stuff, but when I say 'old' I mean 80's and 90's. Put us in a great mood for the drive home. The kids slept so when we got back we went for a swim and a relax before heading back into Pattaya for dinner. The nice New Zealand man who lives here invited us to a pub on Beach Road in Pattaya called Gulliver's. Driving in at night was a challenge but we got there, found a park (which you don't have to pay for or worry about being towed) and headed in for dinner. We were joined by our NZ friend and 2 ofalot of tourists out at this hour and as we dined outside we people watched and felt more and more like we fitted in. We finished up about 9.30 and the kids were really tired. I wanted to stay and have a couple more Long Island Ice teas, but I felt like a bad mum, sitting in a pub with 2 kids while the young male tourists hung out with their even younger Thai girlfriends they picked up the night before in Walking Street. I mean it wasn't seedy or dodgy in anyway, but it was getting late and the night life was starting to pick up. It was time for us to go home. Of course though we got lost on the drive home, we ended up in some dead end in the middle of Pattaya, but by some stroke of luck Marcus got us out of there and back onto the motorway.
I felt really good after our night out. I was a bit apprehensive about going onto Pattaya's beach road at night with the kids, but the seedy sex part of town was much further down and the girlie bars just look like regular bars with people dancing and drinking, its not until you look closely that you see the fat old white men with the young Thai girl next to him that it becomes clear what is going on. Judd and Lillie didn't get to see any of that as they were fast asleep in the car as we drove past.
Marcus and I do however want to find a weekend nanny, of sorts, to babysit on Saturday nights so we can have some time out by ourselves. Check out the array of different restaurants and great food and bars with live music.
As each day goes by I relax more and more. That is of course until the Pickup Utes with the rear packed FULL of speakers rock up to the 7-11 just up the road at 4am and BLAST their dance music into the night air. They even have 2 pickups next to each other some nights, blasting their music, but playing 2 completely different songs. What wankers!
The Thais love really loud music, honestly they must all be half deaf. Its not that they don't understand you, they bloody can't hear you. As I type this right now there is the doof doof of bass floating through the air and into my very sensitive ears. There is one thing in this world that I cannot stand and will never be able to ignore, is other people forcing their loud music on me.
"I don't want to hear your crap music so turn it down!" I scream at them in my head, since I cannot get up and yell it off the balcony. I would then just become the crazy white woman who yells at people.
One of my personal goals while living in Thailand is to become more tolerant and I guess more ignorant of people and their behaviour. I want to be able to be like Marcus who can fall fast asleep regardless of whatever noise is outside. He says he doesn't even notice the music until I mention it. The only way I can tune it out is to put ear plugs deep inside my ears so I cannot hear anything except my own heartbeat.
There is a part of what they teach in meditation classes about calming the mind of all your thoughts and outside distractions. They say rather than to try and think of nothing, which for most is impossible, you allow your mind to have your thoughts, you acknowledge those thoughts and you move on straight away. You acknowledge that, Yes there is noise outside the window, I acknowledge that fact, but I will not focus on it, I will let that thought go.
HA, easier for some I think. But I will try, that is an ultimate goal for me, to unwind, relax and enjoy life in a much more slower and calmer way and not to let other peoples behavior and actions distract and bother me.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Children and change don't mix
Another day in Thailand, but not much to report this time. I did take the kids down to Pattaya again to get out of the apartment. Did some home ware shopping. It's not as much fun as it is at home in Melbourne, all the stuff here is plastic and crap. Simple things like a cutlery holder for our knives and forks you cannot get. Our apartment came with the basics, 6 plates, bowls, cups, tea cups, place mats, 6 forks and 6 spoons. But no knives and no drawers in the kitchen to put them in!? They have been laying in one of the cupboards in a mess. Today I tried to find something to put them all in to keep some sort of order in my teeny tiny kitchen, with no oven. The only thing I could find was a basic plastic basket. I don't want to spend too much money setting up house if we only end up staying for 12 months, as I wont be able to bring any of it home with us. It seems like a waste. But I do want to make the apartment feel a bit more like home. It still feels very much like a hotel. The maids come daily and we get fresh towels and our laundry done. I have never rented a fully furnished apartment or house before so I am very aware that none of the furniture here is ours and I am paranoid the kids will damage it and we will lose our bond (which by the way is 2 months rent not 1 like back in Aust).
I am really looking forward to getting our stuff released from Customs. There are some pictures in there and lots of Judd's toys and books. Judd asks me everyday where his toys are. Poor guy, it must be hard on him. I get cranky when the kids nag and cry and its only after I lose it and yell at them (yes, even at the baby) I realise how hard this move must be for them and how strange everything is. I have to remind myself that they are only babies and everything that they knew to be familiar and normal is gone and has been replaced with strange people who talk funny, bad smells, weird food and a new house that is nothing like our old one. Oh and to top it off they would be wondering why it is so bloody hot too. I can't even imagine what it all must look like through a 3 year old eyes and here I am losing my patience and yelling at them. Talk about feeling guilty.
I looked up some information on kindergartens today, if I want him to go to a International school it will cost us over $8000 AUS for the year! Ouch, he wont be going there. But he definitely needs something, he is becoming a couch potato and watching far too much TV. I want to get him out there and socialising with other kids and playing. Otherwise he will never leave my side again. I found one in Pattaya so I will check it out and see if I can get him in for next term. The school terms are very different from home. Their end of year break is in July, and the Christmas break is just a couple of weeks between terms. Oh and there are only 3 terms each year. The uniforms they wear are adorable, I cant wait to get Judd into one. I hope I don't have to deal with too many tantrums to get him to go without me. He and Lillie are very clingy lately and very quick to cry, I don't want to add anymore stress to his life right now, but I don't want him becoming too shy and forgetting how to play with other kids.
Lillie is another matter entirely. She has gone from the perfect baby girl with big smiles and dimples, to a sooky, clingy baby who wont even let me leave the room to go to the toilet. Somewhere between Melbourne and Bangkok is my perfect girl, I need to find her and give back this monster that has taken her place.
Of course I don't mean that, but its very frustrating for me and sends my already high stress levels through the roof. She throws the biggest tantrums, with tears and snot and the saddest little face. I go from being furious and frustrated to guilty and sad within minutes. If I were at home I wouldn't tolerate a tantrum, but being here I feel for her and give in a lot faster than normal and just make the whole situation worse. I know what I should be doing, I went through it with Judd, but I just cant seem to stick to my guns over here like I would back home.
This is where I miss my girlfriends. They all have been through this or something similar and they are the best source of information a mum could ask for. I know I can email or call, but its not the same as a good whinge session one on one to get it all off my chest and then get another persons perspective. I know as time goes on I will miss them more and more.
I will just power through and hope that somewhere in the near future there will emerge 2 happy, comfortable and relaxed kids that will start to enjoy our adventure. But as we all know, they wont relax until I do.
I am really looking forward to getting our stuff released from Customs. There are some pictures in there and lots of Judd's toys and books. Judd asks me everyday where his toys are. Poor guy, it must be hard on him. I get cranky when the kids nag and cry and its only after I lose it and yell at them (yes, even at the baby) I realise how hard this move must be for them and how strange everything is. I have to remind myself that they are only babies and everything that they knew to be familiar and normal is gone and has been replaced with strange people who talk funny, bad smells, weird food and a new house that is nothing like our old one. Oh and to top it off they would be wondering why it is so bloody hot too. I can't even imagine what it all must look like through a 3 year old eyes and here I am losing my patience and yelling at them. Talk about feeling guilty.
I looked up some information on kindergartens today, if I want him to go to a International school it will cost us over $8000 AUS for the year! Ouch, he wont be going there. But he definitely needs something, he is becoming a couch potato and watching far too much TV. I want to get him out there and socialising with other kids and playing. Otherwise he will never leave my side again. I found one in Pattaya so I will check it out and see if I can get him in for next term. The school terms are very different from home. Their end of year break is in July, and the Christmas break is just a couple of weeks between terms. Oh and there are only 3 terms each year. The uniforms they wear are adorable, I cant wait to get Judd into one. I hope I don't have to deal with too many tantrums to get him to go without me. He and Lillie are very clingy lately and very quick to cry, I don't want to add anymore stress to his life right now, but I don't want him becoming too shy and forgetting how to play with other kids.
Lillie is another matter entirely. She has gone from the perfect baby girl with big smiles and dimples, to a sooky, clingy baby who wont even let me leave the room to go to the toilet. Somewhere between Melbourne and Bangkok is my perfect girl, I need to find her and give back this monster that has taken her place.
Of course I don't mean that, but its very frustrating for me and sends my already high stress levels through the roof. She throws the biggest tantrums, with tears and snot and the saddest little face. I go from being furious and frustrated to guilty and sad within minutes. If I were at home I wouldn't tolerate a tantrum, but being here I feel for her and give in a lot faster than normal and just make the whole situation worse. I know what I should be doing, I went through it with Judd, but I just cant seem to stick to my guns over here like I would back home.
This is where I miss my girlfriends. They all have been through this or something similar and they are the best source of information a mum could ask for. I know I can email or call, but its not the same as a good whinge session one on one to get it all off my chest and then get another persons perspective. I know as time goes on I will miss them more and more.
I will just power through and hope that somewhere in the near future there will emerge 2 happy, comfortable and relaxed kids that will start to enjoy our adventure. But as we all know, they wont relax until I do.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
An accident
I decided to hits the shops today and buy Lillie a belated birthday present. We hired a little Honda City sedan and its ok but its got no guts so if I have to put my foot down it doesn't go anywhere. We drove down to Sattahip to a little baby shop I found and then on through to Pattaya. I was feeling pretty proud of myself and getting confident with my driving, when the traffic slowed and we went past an accident. It looked as if 2 men had had an accident with a small Ute and one of the men was dead on the side of the road, the way he was lying I could just tell he was dead. The ambulance was there but the ambos weren't attending to him they were standing back a bit while another man was knelt over him crying hysterically. I got this awful tingly sensation all over my body and felt a little bit dazed. I couldn't believe what I just saw. I have never seen a deceased person before (only on TV) and the tingles I got stayed with me for about 10 Min's. Luckily the shops I wanted to find weren't too far and I got to pull over and take a break from driving.
The accident didn't look too bad, but the Thais don't wear bike helmets so even a small accident can still kill you or give you brain damage.
After the initial shock of what I saw subsided I started to feel upset hoping that the deceased man wasn't the grieving mans son. The Thais are small people and I couldn't tell if he was a younger boy or a man. I hope he wasn't a young boy. Any death is awful but the death of a young person is unbearable. Especially if it could have been prevented by the simple act of wearing a helmet.
I then started to feel angry that the government or police here don't enforce the law when it comes to helmets and road safety. Especially when I see 3 adults squeezed onto a bike, no helmets and a baby tucked over one of their shoulders! Stupidity!
But I cant dwell on this, it will literally eat me up. There are some things I will have to come to terms with living in a foreign country, things that I cannot change or prevent. But at least I have the solace of knowing that I am educated and I know better and I will take all necessary steps to ensure the safety of my family.
To say the least, I drove home very carefully this afternoon and had a stiff drink to calm the nerves. The problem now will be trying not to picture the grieving mans face when I lay down to sleep tonight.
The accident didn't look too bad, but the Thais don't wear bike helmets so even a small accident can still kill you or give you brain damage.
After the initial shock of what I saw subsided I started to feel upset hoping that the deceased man wasn't the grieving mans son. The Thais are small people and I couldn't tell if he was a younger boy or a man. I hope he wasn't a young boy. Any death is awful but the death of a young person is unbearable. Especially if it could have been prevented by the simple act of wearing a helmet.
I then started to feel angry that the government or police here don't enforce the law when it comes to helmets and road safety. Especially when I see 3 adults squeezed onto a bike, no helmets and a baby tucked over one of their shoulders! Stupidity!
But I cant dwell on this, it will literally eat me up. There are some things I will have to come to terms with living in a foreign country, things that I cannot change or prevent. But at least I have the solace of knowing that I am educated and I know better and I will take all necessary steps to ensure the safety of my family.
To say the least, I drove home very carefully this afternoon and had a stiff drink to calm the nerves. The problem now will be trying not to picture the grieving mans face when I lay down to sleep tonight.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Our first weekend
What a weekend. I think I have experienced every emotion known to man. I started off positve and looking forward to having Marcus home, but after a drama filled morning it all went down hill. We decided to hire the house car again with a driver and unfortunately they gave us the same girl that I had on Thursday. She once again got us lost, we were heading north towards Bangkok at one point. Then she pulled over, well not really, as we were still half in a lane on the motorway, and asked me to drive through the busy streets of Pattaya. I didn't mind, it gave me the opportunity to practice again. The plan for the day was to go to the Big C and get Marcus some work shirts then head over to a flower market that have elephant shows and tiger and monkey shows. But our driver made it very clear that it was meant to be her day off and she wanted to spend it with her husband. She even told me that her boss threatened her job if she didn't take us that day.
So it kind of put the damper on our day. After buying more toys for Judd we decided to head back to the apartment and just chill out for the afternoon.
I also made Marcus tip her generously as I felt bad. I got cross though when Marcus went to pay the bill, we were charged an extra 400baht and we had only done the same trip in the same time as when I went out on Thursday. I told Marcus before he went not to get ripped off and when he came back and told me we of course had a big fight. I really wanted to march down there and tell them what I thought, but I knew that it would make things worse. The Thais are all about 'saving face' and if a big white lady walks down there and starts yelling and stomping it would accomplish nothing. Also Marcus would lose face as well if his wife kicked up a hissy fit. I decided to let this one go and remember next time to negotiate myself.
That night Judd had a little adventure which put the finishing touches to my shitty day. Marcus was downstairs looking for someone and I was putting Lillie to bed. I heard a click and thought it was Judd in the toilet. I came out from their bedroom and there was no sign of Judd anywhere in the apartment. My first place to look was the balcony as the locks are so low he can open the doors and the balustrades aren't to safety standards like back in Aust. Then I checked the hallway and called him as sometimes he runs to the elevator at the end, but there was no answer. So I knew he had pressed the button and gone down the elevator by himself (at least I hoped so). I quickly locked up and ran down to the lobby. The doors opened and there he was all happy as he had found his daddy. I however was not happy. I had the worst shock and was furious. I marched him straight back upstairs and explained how naughty he had been. I needed to make it clear how dangerous going off by himself is, especially in a country where we don't know the language or anything. He was sad but he understood. He then said something which broke my heart and sent me into a sad spiral.
He said, "mommy I want to go home".
After the day we had had, this was all I needed. I sat on the couch and started to cry. Marcus doesn't understand my mood swings and makes everything worse so I don't bother showing him when I am upset. The kids down the street had their boom boxes out and the men out the back where playing a noisy game of a cross between soccer and volleyball and all the noise and strangeness of this place overwhelmed me. I had a shower, put in my ear plugs and read my book on Culture Shock in Thailand. How appropriate.
Today, Sunday. Marcus went down early and caught the manager Mr Chatree, and arranged with him for us to hire the car without a driver. Thankfully he said yes, and said we could have it all day for 2000baht. Not bad considering he charged us 1200baht for 4 hours the day before.
It has a GPS so we found our way fairly easily. We drove down the motorway to Sattahip, where we tried to find a naval base that had a museum open to tourists and a turtle farm. Of course we couldn't find it, but we did get a fair idea of where everything is.
We decided to stop in Jomtien along Beach Road. They have all their lounge chairs and umbrellas set up and for a small price you get to sit there all day. It was lovely. To finally do something touristy. The kids went swimming with Marcus in the lovely blue water and I sat under the umbrellas and got a foot massage and pedicure. I got ripped off but I didn't mind, I couldn't be bothered haggling too much. I didn't actually want the pedicure but the girl started and before I knew it she had taken off my nail polish on one toe and repainted with a different colour! She asked me if I like, I said yes, she said "200baht more please". Man, of course I had to say yes she had already painted one toe! Anyway it was nice to sit and relax for a while. I had been itching to get out there and see all the lovely beaches that everyone tells me about. The girl then tried to give Marcus a pedicure, how funny, he kept saying "No" and she kept trying. He eventually had to tell her to stop as he has really ticklish feet. All the hawkers came past once they saw that farangs had arrived to try and sell us their crabs and prawns in buckets and weird fried food. Of course we said No as our stomachs are nowhere near ready to try fish from a bucket. Of course the people selling kids toys came by trying to get Judd to demand a toy. Luckily he was happy swimming and we didn't have any tantrums. After a few hours of this we packed up and hit the road again. We decided to stop and have McDonald's. What a mistake. It was crap! Never again.
We headed towards a lake we had been told about, Maprachan Lake. Apparently alot of British and Aussie expats have settled out there and we want to look at some houses. Not much luck on that front, but I did find where the Regents International School is, so I will head there next week to talk to someone about putting Judd into kindergarten.
Marcus has hired a car for me for the week, so I will finally have some wheels to go out whenever we want and start adventuring. One week sitting at home is more than enough, I am ready to check this place out and after today I am more than confident I can find my way around.
Tomorrow is Lillie's first birthday, I want to go and buy her something special. I cant believe she is One already, how time flys.
So it kind of put the damper on our day. After buying more toys for Judd we decided to head back to the apartment and just chill out for the afternoon.
I also made Marcus tip her generously as I felt bad. I got cross though when Marcus went to pay the bill, we were charged an extra 400baht and we had only done the same trip in the same time as when I went out on Thursday. I told Marcus before he went not to get ripped off and when he came back and told me we of course had a big fight. I really wanted to march down there and tell them what I thought, but I knew that it would make things worse. The Thais are all about 'saving face' and if a big white lady walks down there and starts yelling and stomping it would accomplish nothing. Also Marcus would lose face as well if his wife kicked up a hissy fit. I decided to let this one go and remember next time to negotiate myself.
That night Judd had a little adventure which put the finishing touches to my shitty day. Marcus was downstairs looking for someone and I was putting Lillie to bed. I heard a click and thought it was Judd in the toilet. I came out from their bedroom and there was no sign of Judd anywhere in the apartment. My first place to look was the balcony as the locks are so low he can open the doors and the balustrades aren't to safety standards like back in Aust. Then I checked the hallway and called him as sometimes he runs to the elevator at the end, but there was no answer. So I knew he had pressed the button and gone down the elevator by himself (at least I hoped so). I quickly locked up and ran down to the lobby. The doors opened and there he was all happy as he had found his daddy. I however was not happy. I had the worst shock and was furious. I marched him straight back upstairs and explained how naughty he had been. I needed to make it clear how dangerous going off by himself is, especially in a country where we don't know the language or anything. He was sad but he understood. He then said something which broke my heart and sent me into a sad spiral.
He said, "mommy I want to go home".
After the day we had had, this was all I needed. I sat on the couch and started to cry. Marcus doesn't understand my mood swings and makes everything worse so I don't bother showing him when I am upset. The kids down the street had their boom boxes out and the men out the back where playing a noisy game of a cross between soccer and volleyball and all the noise and strangeness of this place overwhelmed me. I had a shower, put in my ear plugs and read my book on Culture Shock in Thailand. How appropriate.
Today, Sunday. Marcus went down early and caught the manager Mr Chatree, and arranged with him for us to hire the car without a driver. Thankfully he said yes, and said we could have it all day for 2000baht. Not bad considering he charged us 1200baht for 4 hours the day before.
It has a GPS so we found our way fairly easily. We drove down the motorway to Sattahip, where we tried to find a naval base that had a museum open to tourists and a turtle farm. Of course we couldn't find it, but we did get a fair idea of where everything is.
We decided to stop in Jomtien along Beach Road. They have all their lounge chairs and umbrellas set up and for a small price you get to sit there all day. It was lovely. To finally do something touristy. The kids went swimming with Marcus in the lovely blue water and I sat under the umbrellas and got a foot massage and pedicure. I got ripped off but I didn't mind, I couldn't be bothered haggling too much. I didn't actually want the pedicure but the girl started and before I knew it she had taken off my nail polish on one toe and repainted with a different colour! She asked me if I like, I said yes, she said "200baht more please". Man, of course I had to say yes she had already painted one toe! Anyway it was nice to sit and relax for a while. I had been itching to get out there and see all the lovely beaches that everyone tells me about. The girl then tried to give Marcus a pedicure, how funny, he kept saying "No" and she kept trying. He eventually had to tell her to stop as he has really ticklish feet. All the hawkers came past once they saw that farangs had arrived to try and sell us their crabs and prawns in buckets and weird fried food. Of course we said No as our stomachs are nowhere near ready to try fish from a bucket. Of course the people selling kids toys came by trying to get Judd to demand a toy. Luckily he was happy swimming and we didn't have any tantrums. After a few hours of this we packed up and hit the road again. We decided to stop and have McDonald's. What a mistake. It was crap! Never again.
We headed towards a lake we had been told about, Maprachan Lake. Apparently alot of British and Aussie expats have settled out there and we want to look at some houses. Not much luck on that front, but I did find where the Regents International School is, so I will head there next week to talk to someone about putting Judd into kindergarten.
Marcus has hired a car for me for the week, so I will finally have some wheels to go out whenever we want and start adventuring. One week sitting at home is more than enough, I am ready to check this place out and after today I am more than confident I can find my way around.
Tomorrow is Lillie's first birthday, I want to go and buy her something special. I cant believe she is One already, how time flys.
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