Waiting Waiting Waiting

This waiting game is driving me crazy.  I am getting heavier and heavier in my tummy as the baby moves lower and lower, I swear I am peeing in 10 minute intervals now and to top it off it is mid April and that means high summer here in Thailand, it is so hot and I can only manage to go from air conditioned house to air conditioned car to air conditioned shops and the walk in between gets me dripping in sweat straight away.  I have a doctors appointment tomorrow to have a ultrasound and monitoring etc and for us to discuss our birthing options.  I am a bit nervous about what will happen but excited too knowing that we will be meeting our little guy soon. 
The kids are off on school holidays now for 6 weeks and we are almost at the end of week 1 and I have successfully kept them occupied so far.  A few trips into town for a play group at Wiggle Town, a couple of craft activities and so far we have all survived.  They are so used to being entertained all day at school that they rarely sit still and are constantly asking me what is the next activity.  Any other time this would be fine but being 9 months pregnant and swollen and having a sore back makes even the simplest activity strenuous.  But I can't complain, they are good kids, rarely fighting and happy to play with each other more and more.  I enjoy sitting watching them interact with each other now, they still have their quarrels but more and more they are making up games together and playing and sharing toys together.  Lillie is old enough now to understand Judd when he explains something to her but it is just whether or not she in inclined to listen.
Marcus and I are also house hunting, of course leaving everything to the last minute.  We first thought we would just rent temporarily until we got settled back into Aussie life but we have come across a house for sale in our old neighbourhood that seems to be a good bargain and suits our needs perfectly.  Unfortunately because I cannot travel we have to ask my mother and father in law to do all the inspections and ask the hard questions of the realtor and to try and give us the best description of what the house looks like.  Buying a house unseen is a gamble but I trust in my mother in laws taste, she knows how picky I am about neighbourhoods etc so she will be honest with us. 
It is a old and dated house but I think with our own personal touches and maybe a pool in the backyard it could work.  It isn't in the suburbs that I wanted but realistically we cannot move that far out of town and expect Marcus to travel so long to and from work so a compromise had to be met.
Now the other problem to acquiring a home loan, a task that isn't as easy as it sounds due to the fact that we aren't Australian residents at the moment. 

So it's all systems go now which is great because it gives me something to think about other than how much I hate Thailand and want to go home.  And I am sure my friends would like to hear me talk about something else as well.  I was told the other week that a friend of mine here in Pattaya read my blog and thought it was the most depressing thing she had read!  I was gutted.  I know my posts haven't been all sunshine and happiness lately but to call it depressing to read was a real wake up for me.  That even though I think I am trying to sound positive and optimistic I am really coming across in a completely different way and makes try to change the path my thoughts take me.  Sometimes I feel depression creeping up on me and it scares me.  I put on some music, or some head phones and try to distract myself from whatever it is at the time that has me thinking negatively, but it can be hard some days.  My homesickness is really wearing me down and I am literally counting each hour, each day until we are on the plane home.  I am hoping that after the baby arrives I will be so busy and occupied that I wont have much time to think all those negative thoughts and just focus on my little baby boy and my two adorable loving children.  Some nights when I am feeling particularly sad I go and lie down with Judd and Lillie in their room to sleep, it brings me comfort to be with them and to see their happy little faces sleeping without any of my petty worries bothering them.  I have to remind myself often of how lucky I really am to have such a lovely and healthy family and to have choices and freedom in my life.