Well it is 12:56 am on Friday 20th April, my official due date. I have been up for the past 2 hours after experiencing very annoying braxton hicks contractions and terrible reflux for most of the night. So I figure rather than lying in bed in pain and discomfort I would get up and see if I can use a bit of gravity to keep the acid that is burning my throat out to calm down, I think I have chewed about 8 Gaviscon tablets so far. I was secretly hoping that the contractions I was having were going to get stronger but alas it is not to be, just discomfort and frustration. The mere thought of having my baby on its due date is almost too good to be true, my other 2 pregnancies went so far overdue I thought they were never coming out.
I had an appointment with my OBGYN on Wednesday and we discussed the possibility of inducing labour if I haven't gone spontaneously by the 24th April. This I agreed to as I went to 42 with the last 2 and it was very frustrating and very uncomfortable and considering it is just getting hotter and more humid here in Thailand I am definitely finished with being pregnant. But in saying all that I would much prefer to go into labour myself before that date to avoid the pain of induction, it is so hard and painful with no real lead up into it that it scares me. I was lucky with Lillie that she was more than ready to come out and once the Pitocin was starting to run she came out within 3 hours, I doubt I would be that lucky again. I have other concerns about having a normal vaginal delivery as well, the hospital here in Pattaya are very conservative and almost "old school" about their views on delivery, basically lay on your back with a monitor and wait it out in pain and for me that is worst case scenario as laying prone on my back in the most painful position I can lay in now, let alone when I am in full blown labour. There are no baths for water treatment and pain relief, there are no fit balls or birthing stools or bean bags to try out different positions, the labour room has a bed, a couch and a TV and that's it and it is really small too. I hoped to labour at home for some time before going into hospital but my doctor would prefer to have me admitted as soon as possible and monitored due to the fact that the babies cord is around his neck and they need to monitor his heart beat. But in the next sentence she reassures me that a big percentage of births have the cord present around the neck and the mother can still birth normal and naturally without a problem. So which is it? Do I stress about him losing oxygen with each contraction or do I trust my body it knowing how to labour and let most of the work happen naturally at home? I think the second choice fits better with me, I know I will be uncomfortable and pissed off if I admit to hospital too early and I would feel much better being around my own house, with my own bathtub and bed to use until the time comes that we decide to pop in the car and head in to see the hospital.
At least I made it past the dreaded date of the 19th April which is the official Pattaya Songkran festival. My doctor advised me that the main roads accessing the hospital are virtually impassable on this date as they are full of revelers cruising the streets in their trucks throwing water, dancing and partying the whole day and night away. As my mum arrived in Thailand late last night I thought we would take a early trip into town to get some groceries and have lunch and even as early as 10:30am the streets were full and people were well into the festival frenzy. It looked like alot of fun and I was jealous that I was 40 weeks pregnant and couldn't join in. Especially on a super hot day like it was sitting in the back of a ute being drenched in water looked like a great idea. We had thought maybe of borrowing a ute and driving in with me as designated driver but when it came down to it, I didn't want to palm the kids onto my mum on her first night in Thailand and I didn't want to be the sober boring sister up front driving while everyone else was in the back throwing water and drinking and having all the fun, I selfishly said no and we stayed home probably much to the disappointment of Marcus and our friends but I am 9 months pregnant I am allowed to be a bit selfish and grumpy, but I think my grace period for being a hormonal bitch is just about over, it would be nice to return to the normal thinking and feeling world of humanity.
So now it is 1:30am and I haven't had a contraction for over 30 minutes now I am going to try and get back to bed and pray that come morning I either get some sleep or start real labour.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Waiting Waiting Waiting
This waiting game is driving me crazy. I am getting heavier and heavier in my tummy as the baby moves lower and lower, I swear I am peeing in 10 minute intervals now and to top it off it is mid April and that means high summer here in Thailand, it is so hot and I can only manage to go from air conditioned house to air conditioned car to air conditioned shops and the walk in between gets me dripping in sweat straight away. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow to have a ultrasound and monitoring etc and for us to discuss our birthing options. I am a bit nervous about what will happen but excited too knowing that we will be meeting our little guy soon.
The kids are off on school holidays now for 6 weeks and we are almost at the end of week 1 and I have successfully kept them occupied so far. A few trips into town for a play group at Wiggle Town, a couple of craft activities and so far we have all survived. They are so used to being entertained all day at school that they rarely sit still and are constantly asking me what is the next activity. Any other time this would be fine but being 9 months pregnant and swollen and having a sore back makes even the simplest activity strenuous. But I can't complain, they are good kids, rarely fighting and happy to play with each other more and more. I enjoy sitting watching them interact with each other now, they still have their quarrels but more and more they are making up games together and playing and sharing toys together. Lillie is old enough now to understand Judd when he explains something to her but it is just whether or not she in inclined to listen.
Marcus and I are also house hunting, of course leaving everything to the last minute. We first thought we would just rent temporarily until we got settled back into Aussie life but we have come across a house for sale in our old neighbourhood that seems to be a good bargain and suits our needs perfectly. Unfortunately because I cannot travel we have to ask my mother and father in law to do all the inspections and ask the hard questions of the realtor and to try and give us the best description of what the house looks like. Buying a house unseen is a gamble but I trust in my mother in laws taste, she knows how picky I am about neighbourhoods etc so she will be honest with us.
It is a old and dated house but I think with our own personal touches and maybe a pool in the backyard it could work. It isn't in the suburbs that I wanted but realistically we cannot move that far out of town and expect Marcus to travel so long to and from work so a compromise had to be met.
Now the other problem to acquiring a home loan, a task that isn't as easy as it sounds due to the fact that we aren't Australian residents at the moment.
So it's all systems go now which is great because it gives me something to think about other than how much I hate Thailand and want to go home. And I am sure my friends would like to hear me talk about something else as well. I was told the other week that a friend of mine here in Pattaya read my blog and thought it was the most depressing thing she had read! I was gutted. I know my posts haven't been all sunshine and happiness lately but to call it depressing to read was a real wake up for me. That even though I think I am trying to sound positive and optimistic I am really coming across in a completely different way and makes try to change the path my thoughts take me. Sometimes I feel depression creeping up on me and it scares me. I put on some music, or some head phones and try to distract myself from whatever it is at the time that has me thinking negatively, but it can be hard some days. My homesickness is really wearing me down and I am literally counting each hour, each day until we are on the plane home. I am hoping that after the baby arrives I will be so busy and occupied that I wont have much time to think all those negative thoughts and just focus on my little baby boy and my two adorable loving children. Some nights when I am feeling particularly sad I go and lie down with Judd and Lillie in their room to sleep, it brings me comfort to be with them and to see their happy little faces sleeping without any of my petty worries bothering them. I have to remind myself often of how lucky I really am to have such a lovely and healthy family and to have choices and freedom in my life.
The kids are off on school holidays now for 6 weeks and we are almost at the end of week 1 and I have successfully kept them occupied so far. A few trips into town for a play group at Wiggle Town, a couple of craft activities and so far we have all survived. They are so used to being entertained all day at school that they rarely sit still and are constantly asking me what is the next activity. Any other time this would be fine but being 9 months pregnant and swollen and having a sore back makes even the simplest activity strenuous. But I can't complain, they are good kids, rarely fighting and happy to play with each other more and more. I enjoy sitting watching them interact with each other now, they still have their quarrels but more and more they are making up games together and playing and sharing toys together. Lillie is old enough now to understand Judd when he explains something to her but it is just whether or not she in inclined to listen.
Marcus and I are also house hunting, of course leaving everything to the last minute. We first thought we would just rent temporarily until we got settled back into Aussie life but we have come across a house for sale in our old neighbourhood that seems to be a good bargain and suits our needs perfectly. Unfortunately because I cannot travel we have to ask my mother and father in law to do all the inspections and ask the hard questions of the realtor and to try and give us the best description of what the house looks like. Buying a house unseen is a gamble but I trust in my mother in laws taste, she knows how picky I am about neighbourhoods etc so she will be honest with us.
It is a old and dated house but I think with our own personal touches and maybe a pool in the backyard it could work. It isn't in the suburbs that I wanted but realistically we cannot move that far out of town and expect Marcus to travel so long to and from work so a compromise had to be met.
Now the other problem to acquiring a home loan, a task that isn't as easy as it sounds due to the fact that we aren't Australian residents at the moment.
So it's all systems go now which is great because it gives me something to think about other than how much I hate Thailand and want to go home. And I am sure my friends would like to hear me talk about something else as well. I was told the other week that a friend of mine here in Pattaya read my blog and thought it was the most depressing thing she had read! I was gutted. I know my posts haven't been all sunshine and happiness lately but to call it depressing to read was a real wake up for me. That even though I think I am trying to sound positive and optimistic I am really coming across in a completely different way and makes try to change the path my thoughts take me. Sometimes I feel depression creeping up on me and it scares me. I put on some music, or some head phones and try to distract myself from whatever it is at the time that has me thinking negatively, but it can be hard some days. My homesickness is really wearing me down and I am literally counting each hour, each day until we are on the plane home. I am hoping that after the baby arrives I will be so busy and occupied that I wont have much time to think all those negative thoughts and just focus on my little baby boy and my two adorable loving children. Some nights when I am feeling particularly sad I go and lie down with Judd and Lillie in their room to sleep, it brings me comfort to be with them and to see their happy little faces sleeping without any of my petty worries bothering them. I have to remind myself often of how lucky I really am to have such a lovely and healthy family and to have choices and freedom in my life.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Counting the days
3 weeks to go! I am so full of nervous energy I can not sit still for very long which is becoming a problem as this is the time that I should be resting and reserving as much energy as possible. I feel I have been starting to get on top of my anxiety lately, the noise and music is still annoying but I don't seem to be reacting as strongly to it as before. Maybe it's due to my baby being so much closer to arriving. Or maybe it's because I was able to talk about it and get it all out in the open to my friends and my husband.
I am having a ultrasound in 2 weeks at my 39th week to check the baby, the amniotic fluid, the placenta and the cord that they said last time was around his neck. My doctor isn't being very encouraging on what form of birth I should have, 2 weeks ago she said a natural labour should be ok even though the cord is around his neck just as long as we keep and eye on his heart rate and any signs of distress but then last weeks appointment I asked her the risks of having a natural labour with a low lying placenta like mine and she went on to explain about the risks of post partum bleeding from the placenta and how it can also put the baby in a difficult position when it is time for the birth. So she believes a Cesarean operation would be the safest option for me. However we both agreed to wait until the final scan to make our decision. There is a chance that the bigger my uterus gets the placenta can move higher and not be such a risk.
So we will just wait and see.
This weekend is Easter and I have been finding it very difficult to find Easter Eggs or bunnies for the kids for Easter Sunday. I want to make it as special as it was last year when we were in Melbourne on holiday. We woke them up and they got to run around the garden looking for eggs and special presents from the Easter Bunny. Then the following weekend begins the Thai Songkran New Year festival, last year we weren't in the country for it so this will be our first Songkran festival and I just hope and pray that I don't go into labour during this time as the traffic is said to be horrendous and almost impossible to pass across the Sukumvit highway to get to the hospital. But knowing my past history of going well over my due date the chances of me going early are pretty slim.
Then if all goes to schedule the following week we will be having a bouncing baby boy. So all in all I should have enough on my calendar to keep me busy and distracted.
I am having a ultrasound in 2 weeks at my 39th week to check the baby, the amniotic fluid, the placenta and the cord that they said last time was around his neck. My doctor isn't being very encouraging on what form of birth I should have, 2 weeks ago she said a natural labour should be ok even though the cord is around his neck just as long as we keep and eye on his heart rate and any signs of distress but then last weeks appointment I asked her the risks of having a natural labour with a low lying placenta like mine and she went on to explain about the risks of post partum bleeding from the placenta and how it can also put the baby in a difficult position when it is time for the birth. So she believes a Cesarean operation would be the safest option for me. However we both agreed to wait until the final scan to make our decision. There is a chance that the bigger my uterus gets the placenta can move higher and not be such a risk.
So we will just wait and see.
This weekend is Easter and I have been finding it very difficult to find Easter Eggs or bunnies for the kids for Easter Sunday. I want to make it as special as it was last year when we were in Melbourne on holiday. We woke them up and they got to run around the garden looking for eggs and special presents from the Easter Bunny. Then the following weekend begins the Thai Songkran New Year festival, last year we weren't in the country for it so this will be our first Songkran festival and I just hope and pray that I don't go into labour during this time as the traffic is said to be horrendous and almost impossible to pass across the Sukumvit highway to get to the hospital. But knowing my past history of going well over my due date the chances of me going early are pretty slim.
Then if all goes to schedule the following week we will be having a bouncing baby boy. So all in all I should have enough on my calendar to keep me busy and distracted.
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