Well the secret is out, I can now write about it. About 6 weeks ago Marcus and I discovered we were expecting our third child. We had talked about having another child but Marcus was quite adamant that he only wanted 2 kids but I could not get it out of my head that I wasn't finished having children. He must have had a weak moment and we conceived much to my delight. When I took the home pregnancy test I was unsure of how to tell him as I knew his initial reaction would not be one of delight. I decided to just bite the bullet and tell him that night and as I predicted he did not take it well, we actually didn't talk to each other for 2 days until I sent him a very personal email (we get our emotions across to each other better that way, face to face gets too heated and usually ends in arguments) and his reply came quickly and much to my relief he said he was very happy about the baby but his main concern was whether or not I could handle having 2 small kids plus a new baby. Not that he doesn't think I am a good mother, it is more because I have admitted to him in the past since we moved to Thailand and became Expats that I was having more hard days than good. But I had to explain to him that it wasn't the children that made it hard it was the stress of moving countries and trying to make this foreign land feel like home for our family. Once we came to an understanding we both started to get excited about this new addition to our family. I unfortunately started to suffer quite bad morning sickness, constantly nauseous, dizzy and always tired. It tends to take some of the shine out of the excitement when you feel ill all day long but since the 8 week mark I have started to feel much better and the nausea is only for a brief while in the mornings after breakfast. I started to feel bloated immediately and all of my clothes are much tighter around my waist. It isn't the best feeling when I have been trying to trim down (before conceiving of course) and now I have the bloated swollen feeling and only a handful of people know why, it is a bit of a blow to the self esteem. I did tell a few friends here and at home about my condition, mostly to explain the my different behaviour and my avoiding alcohol. I had just met some good drinking buddies too and now I have to sit on the sidelines again while they hit the town but in the end I remind myself of the hangovers the next day and that it may be fun at the time but is it worth not being able to parent my kids properly the next day? No. So in the end avoiding of drinking and late nights isn't such a bad thing.
After 6 weeks of keeping our secret a dear friend of ours mistakenly announced it on my Facebook page last night intending it to be a personal inbox message that instead went onto my Wall and within minutes there were posts from all of our friends laughing and commenting on his innocent mistake. Marcus and I thought it was all terribly funny and reassured him that we were not upset in any way and that it was nearly time to announce it anyway. He also managed to blow a secret holiday he was planning for his wife as well. Poor guy, but so funny.
I still haven't had my scan yet, they don't do early scans over here, they wait until the 12th week. It is unfortunate because I like to have early scans to reassure myself that there is a viable foetus with a nice heart beat. So I pray that this announcement will not be all in vain if so some terrible reason our scan next week isn't what we think it is. But that is a very morbid thought one that I do not like to dwell on for too long.
So there is our happy news, a new challenge for our journey over here, being pregnant and giving birth in Thailand will have its differences compared to Australia but at the end of the day I have to remind myself that babies are born in every country all over the world and women have been giving birth for millions of years, it is a natural act and one that I hopefully will be able to undergo with as minimal medical intervention as possible. My greatest concern is after the birth if the baby requires medical treatment that he/she will be able to get the best care possible.
I am really looking forward to my scan and to meet this little joy inside me growing bigger everyday, it will confirm it all to be real and really happening.
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