I don't know if its because the kids are settling back into being home or if we are turning that ever elusive corner in the kids development but this past week seems to have had alot less fighting and whingeing. I started to notice it after I confiscated some of Judd's favourite toys because he refused to share any of them with Lillie and if she even dared touch one of them he would start yelling and getting really upset and angry with her. I told him that when they both can show me that they can share their toys and play well together without fighting then he can have his boxes of toys back. At first he was really upset but after a few hours he really made an effort to play more with Lillie and in turn she stopped attacking him and scratching him. She knows that if she wants to get a rise out of him all she has to do is pinch him or scratch him and world war 3 starts with me coming in yelling and placing one of them on a naughty spot. For the first few days he would ask me constantly if he could have his toys back, but over these past couple of days he hasn't asked once and he may even be forgetting about them.
I want them to be friends and play together and I simply cannot stand them fighting.
I also started to identify the crazy periods of the day when they seem to either have meltdowns or come hovering around me looking for attention at what I call the crazy hour, 4.00pm to 5.00pm. I have started to involve them in a different activity each day. The first day we did painting on the easel, then the next it was play dough then baking cookies together and also swimming. It seems to have worked well, they get my attention, they get to play and be creative and before we know it it is dinner time. Then Marcus comes home from work and takes them up to the park for more play time while I tidy up. This new routine is working so well. By the time they get back from the park its bath time, milk time and then bed time for Lillie at 7.00pm and Judd gets to have an hour of alone time with mum and dad.
I also went into town today and found a new book called The Creative Family which is full of activities and ideas on having fun with fewer toys and getting the kids more involved with the fun of nature and getting outside more.
Being in Thailand there is a real disconnection to the usual mums groups and kids activity centers and even simple parks and playgrounds. We have a park here in our village but it is very simple and made of iron so the swings are heavy chunky seats and they are rusty and losing their paint. Unlike the playgrounds back home which have soft fall floors and safety rails. It is an adjustment.
There are mothers groups and coffee get togethers but the ladies are from so many different backgrounds and all run at very different schedules it can be hard to form a closer friendship. I have always had difficulties developing closer relationships with women, I can meet people and talk and rabble on over a glass of wine but I always get shy when it comes to continuing the friendship as I sometimes feel like a nag or a nigel no friends. These little insecurities seem to get in my way but I am making a conscientious effort.
I hired a new maid last week to work 2 days a week, unfortunately her English is non existent but she is a mother of a 3 year old boy so I am sure I can communicate with her enough to be able to leave Lillie in her care so I can attend more of the coffee mornings and also get my butt into the gym again. Her cleaning is not too bad but again I will just have to explain and show her how I like things to be done. We still have our maid on Saturday mornings so I have been thinking about Marcus and I occasionally taking ourselves to breakfast while the kids stay home with her. She has moderate English and is a nanny for our neighbour on weekdays as well.
So today I am feeling more in control and back on track and I feel I can start enjoying the expat lifestyle again. It is a good feeling.
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