My Little Bundle of Black fur

I went out on Friday and did something I probably shouldn't have but I have zero regrets.


Our little dog that we left back in Melbourne with family, Sticker passed away in March this year when he was hit by a car. We were devastated. We had hoped that when we returned to Australia in 2012 that we would have our precious little guy back and to hear that he is dead really struck home. It was a the hardest decision to leave our little dogs when we got the offer to live and work in Thailand, it was even harder when I realised that I would have to permanently give away my precious Lance. In hindsight we should have just brought them both with us as we now have met alot of other expats who have brought over their pets from Australia and even though they know the process of taking them back again is difficult they see it as worthwhile. We had secretly hoped to bring Sticker back with us after our trip to Melbourne back in April but that was not meant to be I suppose.

We have all felt the void of not having our pets with us and even though we took care of the dog Lady for our friends recently, she was not the right dog for us. We are small indoor dog people and to have a large, excited dog just wasn't the right fit. Thankfully I found her a new family with acres of space and other big dogs to play with but we were again left with that empty place. I couldn't really put my finger on it until Marcus started talking about getting a puppy. It was then I realised that he was missing having our boys as well and that he was feeling sad over the loss of Sticker just as much as I was. We discussed it over some weeks and we never really came to a decision.

Then I had a bit of a hard week last week with the kids and feeling quite lonely and isolated and then Marcus told me that he is leaving in 2 weeks to work in Uzbekistan for a month so I woke up Friday morning with an idea to go puppy shopping. First I got online and searched all of the relevant information we will need in order to take the dog home with us when the time came and an approximate cost which I felt was acceptable. I promised myself that I would not be buying a puppy for the short term. I have felt guilt for the past year about abandoning my two dogs to come and live in Thailand, a pet is a pet for life and I have always believed that but I do understand that I cannot put pets before my husband and kids and I had to make a choice. But now we are settled and have signed on for another 12 months and I have more of an idea of what life is like over here and how many services there are around Asia in helping people and their pets move from country to country and I have spoken to people who have done it and who are planning to do it and I feel confident that I can take on a new member to the family and I will do whatever it takes to keep it safe, healthy and with us regardless of which country we live in.

So I sat down with the kids and spoke to them about what I planned to do and asked them if they would help me with this new responsibility and of course they said a big YES! So we hit the road in search of a pet store. Now pet stores are few and far between here in Pattaya and pet ownership is still relatively new to Thai people. I mean they have had dogs and cats for years but the concept of pet ownership and the responsibilities that entails is still not very common hence all the soi dogs and cats spreading disease and roaming the streets. Unfortunately the pet stores I did find (a total of 2) didn't have any poodles so I ended up having to swallow my morals and take the kids to the Pattaya Tai markets that run every Tuesday and Friday and sell everything from amazing Thai food, toys, clothes, shoes, fabrics, electronics to puppies, kittens, fish, squirrels, mice, turtles and little rabbits dressed in tiny dolls clothes. Being an animal lover its hard to see things like this but since living here for a while now I have come to ignore alot of it. I mean I have to or it will eat me up and cause me to resent Thailand and its people and I wouldn't enjoy our time here. Its the same with seeing the kids living in poverty or the babies used by beggars to get money from tourists and the young girls selling their bodies for sex. Every country has its good and its bad and I just have to focus on the good parts.

So this market is amazing, busy, hot and cramped and we were barely able to get our little stroller through the aisles. There were 2 stalls selling puppies, the first guy was rude and mean and wouldn't even let us pet the little guys. I didn't bother trying to explain that we live here and I wanted to buy one so I just walked over to the next guy who was friendly and nice and he let me choose the puppy I liked. Straight away I picked up this little female black pup who was the only pup sitting up in the litter looking about. She was so tiny she fit in one hand. The stall owner told me that she was a miniature poodle and she was 7 weeks old. I didn't even bother looking at the others, she caught my eye and it was love at first sight. She had good clean teeth and gums and very alert. I then asked the man how much she was and he surprised me by saying she was 1800 Baht! Thats like $55 AUD. The other places I went to were asking for 4800baht up to 10000 baht. So even though I knew I couldn't guarantee that she really was a miniature poodle I have had poodles long enough to know the shape of the snout and eyes that she was close enough. Her fur was so soft and long and she had 2 white socks on her back paws and a white little goatee on her chin. Judd was happy with her, but honestly he would have been happy with a pet duckling or turtle as well. I paid the man and he gave me a 3 day warranty and I then had to manage steering the stroller with Lillie in it, hold Judd's hand and carry the puppy all the way back to the car while sweating so much it was running into my eyes. It wasn't an overly hot day but it was very humid. Crossing the busy road was interesting and scary but thankfully a nice man on a motorbike stopped traffic for me so we could run over to our car. In the car I put the pup into a little bucket I had and she obviously was a little stressed because she pooped and stood in it so the car stunk the entire trip home but it was all worth it.

I asked Judd what he would like to call her and he immediately said Sticker! So we now have a Sticker II. Straight away everything felt normal again. I was right when I realised what the missing piece in our life here was. Little Sticker has settled in nicely, she had her first vet visit yesterday and got her first round of vaccinations and worming medicine. I went out and bought her a pen to live in when she isn't out playing with the kids and its also a safe place for me to put her when I have to leave the room and she is alone with the kids. She is so little that she easily gets under our feet or in the way of the kids when they are running about the house. She has taken to potty training easily as well, she goes potty every time I take her outside and I can sense already that if we are diligent with her training she will learn very quickly. Judd and Lillie are in love with her already, they care for her, talk to her and get so excited when she starts to play and leap about.

As time moves on and our stay here in Thailand draws to an end I know it will get stressful when its time to move her to Singapore for her 6 months stay and quarantine to then qualify for import into Australia. I secretly hope that Marcus can land some work in a "approved" country so we can all stay with Sticker while she has her quarantine time. But this is all months away and we still have the possibility of staying here longer.

A strange feeling to be an expat

3 times in the past 2 weeks I have sat down to write a post on this blog and each time I have been interrupted by a little monster named Lillie who is refusing to take her usual lunch time nap.  It is amazing how this small change has thrown my entire world.  I am all upside down.  I just got a good routine going, run errands in the mornings, then lunch, then she would sleep, I would catch up on emails and bills then work out for an hour then she would wake and we would collect Judd from school and do our afternoon activities.  Now she doesn't let me have time to do much at all, she demands alot of my attention and those 2 hours of respite seem all the more precious now that I don't have them.  I believe she is too young to drop her day time nap, without napping she is ratty and doesn't eat well at dinner time and is very quick to tantrum.  I feel she may have to have a later nap in the day than she used to but I have to collect Judd from school at 2.30pm each day so I cant leave her at home by herself so I end up waking her so we aren't too late.  I found out on Tuesday that Judd's school has a small school bus picking and dropping kids off, ideal for our situation as now I can stay home with Lillie while she is sleeping and wait for the bus to drop Judd off BUT upon asking the school about it I was told that the bus is full and we have to wait for a spot to open.  Very frustrating considering the fact that I was never told about the bus service, there was no letter sent home, no emails, nothing.  The lack of correspondence from the school has always been a problem with me. 
I had to contact the principle last week as Judd kept coming home and telling me that the teachers in his class have a 'smacking stick' that they smack the naughty children with.  I kept asking him and he kept telling me the same story so I figured if he was lying the story would change as he thought of new things to say but he said the same things every time and even would tell me the names of the kids who got smacks and he would show me where on their hands they got it. 
This became and issue for me because I chose this school for the fact that they assured me that they didn't smack the children and only used time outs as punishment for bad behaviour.  So I emailed the principle (I find email is easier as the language barrier and peoples accents seem to distort our conversations alot) again she replied straight away and assured me that they don't smack and that the smacking stick that Judd sees is a ruler used for pointing around the classroom. However the next day when I picked Judd up from school I asked him my usual questions and if he was a good boy and didn't get into any trouble and I asked him if anyone got any smacks and he said "mmmm no mummy no one today!"
So I 100% believe Judd when he tells me things, I can tell when he is telling fibs as his imagination goes crazy.  So hopefully my email has brought it to their attention, as maybe the principle didn't know what the teachers were actually doing once in the classroom.  In Thailand alot of traditional Thai schools still use smacking and the cane as regular forms of punishment for children and I was warned.  But I know that if anyone gets any smacks Judd will tell me, he is at that age that he sees everything and tells me everything, right down to what his poo looked like that day.

Marcus and I considered for a while of maybe changing his schools as his group of friends is really limited
to one of the International Private Schools so he can be around other English speaking western kids more and possibly make some more friends.  The mothers and fathers at his current school don't really speak to each other, well actually the Thai mothers speak amongst themselves in Thai and since Judd is only one of about 4 western kids there, that leaves me with no one to speak to, let alone form a sort of friendship with in order to arrange some play dates for him.  I did a bit of research on prices during the week and we were both shocked to see that for just one year of pre-school we would be looking at nearly $12000 AUD!  So you can imagine that Judd will be staying at his little kindergarten.  I mean he is perfectly happy there and never complains, it was more Marcus and I feeling a bit guilty about taking him from his friends and family back home.  It is a hard thing sometimes, yes we are all on a wonderful journey that not everyone gets to do but Lillie and Judd are too young to really appreciate what we are doing and to appreciate the sights and sounds of everything we get to see.  I feel a bit selfish some days and guilty that I have taken him from everything he knew to be safe and secure and familiar.  But what we are doing here will hopefully set us up to live more comfortably in the years to come and to be able to provide more opportunities for both he and Lillie.
Everyday he talks about going home to the 'red house' as he calls it, in Dandenong, he asks me all the time when we are going to go home.  It makes it especially hard when I am having a homesick moment like I am today.

More play time = less stress

I don't know if its because the kids are settling back into being home or if we are turning that ever elusive corner in the kids development but this past week seems to have had alot less fighting and whingeing.  I started to notice it after I confiscated some of Judd's favourite toys because he refused to share any of them with Lillie and if she even dared touch one of them he would start yelling and getting really upset and angry with her.  I told him that when they both can show me that they can share their toys and play well together without fighting then he can have his boxes of toys back.  At first he was really upset but after a few hours he really made an effort to play more with Lillie and in turn she stopped attacking him and scratching him.  She knows that if she wants to get a rise out of him all she has to do is pinch him or scratch him and world war 3 starts with me coming in yelling and placing one of them on a naughty spot.  For the first few days he would ask me constantly if he could have his toys back, but over these past couple of days he hasn't asked once and he may even be forgetting about them. 
I want them to be friends and play together and I simply cannot stand them fighting.
I also started to identify the crazy periods of the day when they seem to either have meltdowns or come hovering around me looking for attention at what I call the crazy hour, 4.00pm to 5.00pm. I have started to involve them in a different activity each day.  The first day we did painting on the easel, then the next it was play dough then baking cookies together and also swimming.  It seems to have worked well, they get my attention, they get to play and be creative and before we know it it is dinner time. Then Marcus comes home from work and takes them up to the park for more play time while I tidy up.  This new routine is working so well.  By the time they get back from the park its bath time, milk time and then bed time for Lillie at 7.00pm and Judd gets to have an hour of alone time with mum and dad.

I also went into town today and found a new book called The Creative Family which is full of activities and ideas on having fun with fewer toys and getting the kids more involved with the fun of nature and getting outside more. 
Being in Thailand there is a real disconnection to the usual mums groups and kids activity centers and even simple parks and playgrounds.  We have a park here in our village but it is very simple and made of iron so the swings are heavy chunky seats and they are rusty and losing their paint.  Unlike the playgrounds back home which have soft fall floors and safety rails.  It is an adjustment. 
There are mothers groups and coffee get togethers but the ladies are from so many different backgrounds and all run at very different schedules it can be hard to form a closer friendship. I have always had difficulties developing closer relationships with women, I can meet people and talk and rabble on over a glass of wine but I always get shy when it comes to continuing the friendship as I sometimes feel like a nag or a nigel no friends.  These little insecurities seem to get in my way but I am making a conscientious effort.

I hired a new maid last week to work 2 days a week, unfortunately her English is non existent but she is a mother of a 3 year old boy so I am sure I can communicate with her enough to be able to leave Lillie in her care so I can attend more of the coffee mornings and also get my butt into the gym again.  Her cleaning is not too bad but again I will just have to explain and show her how I like things to be done.  We still have our maid on Saturday mornings so I have been thinking about Marcus and I occasionally taking ourselves to breakfast while the kids stay home with her.  She has moderate English and is a nanny for our neighbour on weekdays as well.

So today I am feeling more in control and back on track and I feel I can start enjoying the expat lifestyle again.  It is a good feeling.