Follow up scan, good news or bad?

After 2 weeks of trying not to stress and worry about the possible results of our follow ultrasound the day finally arrived and Marcus and I headed into the hospital.  He was hopeful of good news and I was already prepared for the worst.  Our turn came and we followed the nurse into the  little room and the doctor soon followed and he said he was going to be very thorough for us.  He checked it all out, showed us all the body parts and then explained that the positioning of the babies stomach and heart is on the left side and seem to be in the correct place.  He went on to explain that we should forget everything we were told from our previous scan as it was all completely incorrect.  Well actually almost everything, he did confirm that the sex of the baby is definitely still a boy.  We both let out a big sigh of relief. 
So the results of this second scan tell us that the baby is a good healthy size, all organs and body parts present and accounted for and so far so good.  He of course went on to explain that not everything is 100% until the birth but from his assessment our little guy seemed to be well on his way to being a big healthy boy and the placenta that I was previously told was too close to the cervix opening and could mean a possible C-Section is actually not as close as they first thought and a natural labour could still be a possibility. 
I left the hospital that afternoon relieved but also pissed off.  I was upset with the women who gave me my first ultrasound and made all the wrong assumptions and caused so much stress and worry in our lives.  And I was also upset with my Obstetrician for not reassuring me and not explaining what if anything we should have been prepared for.
But now knowing that we can return to life as normal and I can return to planning for the birth here in Thailand has allowed my moods to improve and for my days to settle down into their usual routine.  My belly has really started to pop out now and I am no longer just looking fat but pregnant which is a much needed boost for my self esteem.
Marcus is immensely relieved, he had done alot more research on the possibility of the baby having a Diaphragmatic Hernia and he kept alot of the scarier information to himself as he knew it would cause me unimaginable amounts of stress. 
We have both really embraced the fact that we are adding to our family now.  During the earlier months it all seemed too surreal to believe but now I have set up the baby cot, bought some cute little blankets and outfits and baby bottles and we are now searching for the right name.  He wants something cool to match our first son, Judd, but I want something more classic so we agree to disagree for now.  I am sure that it will just be like it was with Judd, we will decide on the name in the final couple of weeks.

We had a very busy 7 days last week.  Marcus and I had a last minute decision to take the kids over to our neighbouring island Koh Samed for a few days to relax, re-group and have some much needed family quiet time.  It was a good decision.  We have been to this island before so getting to the pier wasn't a drama this time and we weren't in such a mad hurry either, we had time to stop and purchase Judd and life jacket as safety regulations on Thai ferries and boats are almost non-existent.  Lillie had her little swim vest to wear and even though its not a "life jacket" it is enough to keep her head above water should an accident happen.  We caught a private speed boat this trip and it is well worth the extra money, no more than 15 minutes and we were splashing onto the white clean sands of Samed.  The resort we chose was simple more budget style so we had to drag our luggage and the kids across the sand to find our hotel.  I chose this simple resort as it didn't have the typical "resort facilities", there was no pool and no gym, just rooms, restaurant and beach.  It was perfect, exactly what our family needed, to get away from the constant television, DVD movies and basically force the kids to use their imagination and create their own fun out of the sand and it worked.  We spent 4 days from 8.30am to 4.00pm each day down by the water and only returning to our hotel room to grab the occasional necessity or to take Lillie on a potty run.  The kids even had their lunch, milks and day time naps right next to us on their towels on the sand.  I honestly thought I would get bored but a good book and the opportunity to wade into the water and the restaurant just meters away not once did I long to return to our room for modern comforts.

Judd took to wanting to hike along the beach trails looking for Dinosaur bones and sea creatures while Lillie won the hearts of all the Thai staff and Thai massage ladies who work the beach offering food, massages and pedicures to the tourists.  I even had a wonderful back massage lying on a sarong on the sand while Marcus and the kids took their naps.  Lillie had her hair plaited with beads and became the most cutest little Island Girl.  Marcus and Judd made sand castles and dug deep holes to fill with endless buckets of water.  The only downside to spending a day like this is the kids were not the best behaved when it came time to go out for dinner and by our third night, which happened to be my 31st birthday we were so tired that we ordered take away and ate dinner on our balcony.  The resort had many 2 bedrooms villas which is perfect for families and next time we stay we will definitely be reserving the sea side villas that have balconies that open right onto the ocean. 

I had found a boarding kennel to put Sticker II in which was luxury compared to some people hotels that are available.  It was a bargain price of $9 a night and they had grooming, a doggy swimming pool and play areas for their daily exercise.  It was a real relief to find such quality here in Pattaya.

2 days after returning home relaxed and a bit sun burnt we spent the day with a family we know here who are also from Melbourne and have 2 kids the same ages as ours, it was their daughters third birthday and we spoilt them with McDonald's, a play at the Soft Play Zone and then took all 4 of them to the movies to see Puss in Boots.  It was a long but very fun day and we were so happy to have been asked to spend it with them.

Then on the Sunday we had joined a group booking for a day out on the Gulf of Thailand in a huge boat visiting neighbouring islands.  There was 12 families who joined us each with at least 2 kids ageing from 18months old to 12 years old.  It was organised chaos.  For the parents with older kids it was easier as they just got to sit up the top of the boat drinking and enjoying the sun whereas the parents with smaller children who required constant attention and supervision we were constantly back and forth passing one child to another taking turns in feeding, pottying and entertaining.  We were taken to a small island about 15 minutes from the marina called Monkey Island, called such because its only inhabitants are hundreds of monkeys.  When we first arrived and landed on the beach there was no monkeys to be seen so while we waited for the boat to return the kids splashed and played in the shallows.  Once back on the smaller speed boat our driver and friend took us around to the other side of the island and there hanging in the trees were about 20 monkeys and as we arrived they jumped off the branches straight into the water and swam better than most humans I have seen.  They dived and played and it was so fun to watch.  We didn't get out of the boat this time as we have been told that the monkeys can literally jump all over you and pick your pockets so we threw them the bananas and they went crazy for them.  I couldn't get enough photos they were so playful and cute and our kids loved it.  When we got back to the main boat all the remaining kids were jumping off the back off the boat and some even went off the roof.  We travelled to another island shortly after where we moored for lunch and some people went over to the island to swim and play on the beach while the rest of us tried to get the smaller kids to have a nap and the dads sat up on the top level and enjoyed the sun and the beers.  Marcus and a few of the dads and bigger boys took the speed boat out and the ski biscuit for some water fun.  I sat watching envious as I couldn't do anything more active than a quick swim at the back on the boat. 

The day went by so quickly and before we knew it we were heading back to Pattaya as the sun was setting behind us.  Marcus and the kids gave me a new camera for my birthday the week before and I used it as much as I could trying out all of the different functions and thoroughly enjoying having a fast working good quality camera to snap away with. 

Local fishing boats

By the time we returned to the marina the kids were well on their way to being over tired and crazy, it seemed like a mad rush of people to get off the boat so we hung back and waited.  I was always very cautious as Lillie didn't have her vest on and one of the bigger boys broke Judd's vest so I was a bit anxious having my two little ones near open dark water, if one fell in they would sink straight down and never be found.  Sometimes I felt like I was the only cautious mother on the boat, alot of the other kids were allowed alot of free reign to run about and climb the wet slippery ladders and this boat by no means was child safe, the barriers were just 2 rails on the slippery deck.  I tried not to let my stress show too much but sometimes I felt very overwhelmed with so many small kids and so much open water.

But aside from my mother duck syndrome the day was fantastic, we all had a lovely time and it is definitely something we would want to do again in the future but next time without the small children and without me being pregnant. 

Our kids have had to have 2 days off school to recover from such a busy action packed week and it has even been nice to have them around me for company too.  As much as it is nice when they are off to school, on days like today when I have nothing to do it is nice to have my kids around to keep me busy and awake.

I look forward to when we return to Australia and we can take our 3 children camping and boating like we used to before we moved to Thailand, its the simple activities that we miss the most.

20 week pregancy scan full of surprises.

Today I had what was meant to be my 20 week ultrasound for the baby.  Turns out it didn't go as smoothly as my previous 2.  I arrived early and the doc went to measure the fundal height and listen to the heartbeat, but when they put the Doppler on my stomach she couldn't find the babies heart beat at all.  I didn't start stressing as when I was pregnant with Lillie they sometimes had trouble finding her heart beat as she was always pressed up against my back and in awkward positions.  So they trotted me off to the ultrasound room where they then left me waiting laying on my back for 10 minutes all alone to ponder the possibilities of what this scan might show.  Note to the wise, never leave a pregnant woman alone who could be facing terrible news.
The Doc finally came in and proceeded to squeeze jelly on me and probe and push around my tummy, starting off the heart was very obvious and beating strongly so my relief was immediate but it didn't last long.  She noticed that my placenta was too low and may cause some issues closer to delivery time if it doesn't move further away from the opening of the cervix, I may end up with a C Section, something that I am desperately trying to avoid.  This wasn't great but it is manageable so I carried on feeling positive, however that it started to change when she then began having alot of trouble finding the babies stomach location.  Apparently it is supposed to be below the heart but she looked and looked for 20 minutes and then called in a second opinion from her superior to confer.  In  the end they found something that should be the stomach but it was in the wrong place so she advised me that another follow up scan will be required to monitor it.  I still didn't feel too concerned at this point, but I was making plans in my mind that if there was confirmation that the baby may need some sort of surgery or medical treatment then I will be on the first flight back to Melbourne to birth the baby there where everyone speaks clearly and honestly and where I feel safe in the knowledge that the baby will get the best treatment.  I am sure they do infant surgery in Thailand but to be honest it is still "Thailand" and I would feel much more secure if we were home, safe and around friends and family. 
Every other body part was present, arms, legs, fingers and the highlight of my morning was that again after much searching and conferring with each other they were able to tell me the sex.  Much to my delight I am pleased to announce that we are having a BOY!  I saw his little pee pee before the docs did, it was clear as day to me but they still weren't 100% sure so you never know, but I have a good feeling that it is definitely a boy, a strong little guy that is sure to be a fighter and whatever obstacles confront him I am sure he will pull through.
After waiting an eternity to see my obstetrician again she whisked through the scan results and vaguely told me that there may be some sort of problem with an opening in his diaphragm and the location of his stomach and that I should come back in 4 weeks for another scan but I asked for 2 weeks as I need to know if this is going to be a problem and if I need to start making arrangements to return to Melbourne.  Also according to his size I am only 18 weeks along not 19 like she first thought and she is concerned that I have only put on 2 kgs in 4 months and I need to eat more.  I was already overweight before falling pregnant, I am sure that I have enough weight on me to compensate the baby.  But if Doc says eat then I must obey. 
The problem I find with the Doctors here is that they are even faster to get you out the door than they are in Australia, I can barely understand her accent as it is let alone understand the medical jargon she talks about.
I always leave there with unanswered questions and I worry constantly about how this pregnancy and birth is going to turn out.  With my last 2 I always felt relaxed and nurtured with my midwife carers and my labours were relatively easy and very natural.  I know I can survive natural childbirth but in Thailand they are much more inclined to fill a person with medicine and drugs before letting nature take its course and now with this placenta being in a problematic position this may be all my doc needs to intervene. 
Overall I feel OK about what has happened today, I am concerned greatly but I know that medical science has done wonders in the last few decades and I know that whatever the problem is with my little guy I will get whatever help he needs to fix it and keep him healthy.  I am focusing on the good news of today rather than the bad otherwise it will stress me out and in turn stress him out which wont be any good for either of us.  Best to just wait and see what needs to be done.

It's been a while

I must first start with a sincere apology to my loyal readers, I will be honest and say my only excuse is I have been too tired to even consider trying to write.  This pregnancy has really knocked me about this time, it is probably no different to my other 2 pregnancies but I think with the added stress of the 2 little kids and the underlying stress of living as an expat just plain wears me out. 

Alot has happened since  I last posted, I had a trip back to Australia with the 2 kids to visit family, I will sum it up to say that it was a confusing trip.  As soon as we landed in Melbourne I knew I wanted to stay forever and not return to Thailand, I even went as far as to look at properties for sale.  But as the trip wore on and we headed north to Townsville the stress of being on holiday with the 2 kids by myself began to wear me down and I started to long for the extras we take advantage of here in Thailand ie; my husband for a start, I have vowed to never travel without him again, as well as having schools and maids to help entertain the children and allow me to rest.  Don't get me wrong I thoroughly enjoyed visiting family and friends and the kids really enjoyed seeing their grandparents and aunts and uncles.  Judd made my homesickness for Melbourne stronger as he kept saying for the entire trip that he didn't want to return to Thailand, he wanted to stay in Australia.  He would say to me "mummy I don't want to go back to Thailand, I want to stay in Australia" and I would ask "why?" and he would reply "because they only speak Thai and we speak English and I want to stay where people speak English".  He broke my heart as he was really sincere with his wanting to stay and I started to contemplate the options we had for returning. 

However I was once again put into a confused spin as the day we were to leave Australia my husband left a message saying that his employer has offered us the opportunity to stay in Thailand as long as we want.  And to top off my busy, confusing and tiring trip I came down with a terrible cold which made the 9 1/2 hour fight to Bangkok miserable as the pressure in my head was almost unbearable.  The kids travelled well though, they sat through all of their fights, watching movies, colouring and sleeping, I was very happy with them and it was me mostly that was uncomfortable and exhausted.

When we returned to Pattaya it took me nearly a week to completely unpack and catch up on sleep, it was nice to be back in our house but it still doesn't feel like home.  The fact that we rent bothers me, I am always worried we will damage something and loose our exceptionally high bond.  The kids have taken to sharing a bedroom now so we have had to make some changes to our sleeping arrangements which is a good thing actually as it frees up a bedroom for the baby when he/she arrives. 

I also had to deal with the influx of people in Pattaya evacuating Bangkok ahead of the sever floods that was working its way down from the north.  I returned home from our trip to the surprise of the shops having run out of bottled water, noodles, beer, milk and sometimes bread.

The flooding up north is terrible, just a slow never ending barrage of water destroying homes and businesses and displacing thousands of families.  I must confess though to not following local or international news very much, we live in a sort of bubble over here and unless we make the effort to buy a paper or search the channels for a English news channel I really have no idea what events are taking place here at home or anywhere else for that matter.  In some ways it is nice to not have the constant barrage of shocking news updates and current affairs programs constantly reminding me what a scary and unstable world we live in.  The plus side is that there has been predicted an end to the flooding in Bangkok and hopefully alot of the visitors to Pattaya will be able to return home (to whats left anyway) and life down here will return to normal.  Sounds selfish but there is not much I can do for such a large scale disaster.  We have attended fund raising functions to raise money for water purifiers and food. 

Everyday I have conflicted emotions about living here, some days I am OK with it and others I can't stand being here for another minute.  For instance my maid came running in Monday morning yelling madame! madame!  and pointing to the pool which was overflowing in gushes into the street and down into the drains.  Apparently the ball thing that triggers when the water level drops too low and allows the pool to refill itself broke and water just kept pouring into it until it had nowhere to go except over the edge and down the street.  I had to turn the water supply off to the entire house while waiting for my pool maintenance man to come and repair the problem.  Luckily there is a reserve tank underground out the front which allows for about 2 days worth of rationed water so thankfully I still had running water while I waited.  Waiting for a tradesman in Thailand is like watching grass grow, painfully slow and frustrating.  They say they will come but then wont show up for 4 days.  I rang Marcus at his work and asked him to have one of his workers who speaks both English and Thai to call him and ensure that he was on his way.

Another mini drama I had was while grocery shopping in the local supermarket I went to pay at the checkout and discovered that Marcus had taken all my money out of my purse and put it in the safe without telling me, so I tried my Visa debit card and was embarrassed to be told it was declined.  I had to stand there with everyone watching me and listening while I phoned Marcus to ask him to transfer some money ASAP.  I was almost in tears with embarrassment.  Then while in the car park I was furious to discover that some twit had parked so close next to my car that I couldn't even fit between the two.  I had to climb through the passenger side.  What made me most upset was that this happens frequently in Thailand and I cringe to wonder what will happen when my stomach grows so big with my baby that I will be unable to squeeze myself in and my temper is so short these days that I may end up making a hugely embarrassing scene in the car park.  Back in Melbourne if someone does something to you like that you can leave a nice little cranky note on their windscreen telling them what stupid idiots they are, but here I just have to swallow my temper, take many many deep breaths and walk away.  It is a real knock on a persons pride.

We have had some good days though, we had the Halloween Fete at Horseshoe Point.  The kids got to get all dressed up and ride the merry go round, jump the bouncy castle and play random games to win prizes.  Lillie had her very first pony ride on a lovely white horse.  She handled it really well just as long as I didn't let go of her hand.  Lillie insisted in dressing as a fairy princess for the night even though she had a gorgeous witch costume that she wore for a Wiggle Town Play group Halloween party the previous day.  Judd dressed as a scary ghost and he had so much fun and didn't want to leave.

We have also recently had the Loy Krathong festival.  As Lillie is in school this year I had to go shopping to buy her a Thai Costume to wear for the celebration ceremony they were holding at their school.  I was a bit late in getting it so all the pretty one shouldered costumes had been sold so we got a more simply outfit for her.  She looked so pretty and Judd was so handsome wearing the same Thai outfit I bought for him for last years festival.  That evening rather than going down to the lake where the big parties were being held we just went up to our private lake in our village to light and release our Krathong's that I had purchased off a toothless old lady on the side of the road not far from our house.  Another Thai family was there as well and they were releasing lanterns into the sky and we hung around to watch and then the night sky filled with orange lanterns from all the revelers around our area, it was a pretty sight.

I have my ups and downs as usual and I try to look at the more positive side of life here but some days it just wears me down to the point that I want to pack my bags and fly home, but then I remind myself that I don't have a home in Melbourne anymore and I would be starting all over again with moving, unpacking, settling the kids in and reconnecting with all our old friends which may not be as easy as it sounds as alot can change in 2 years.  So I just take the good with the bad and carry on taking each day at a time and not raising my expectations too high.  It is a fabulous opportunity we have been given and I would be a fool to waste it.

Babies first picture

It has been a while since my last post and we have had the usual ups and downs.  The highlight of last week was visiting the Obstetrician at Bangkok Pattaya hospital and having our very first ultrasound of our little peanut.  We had to have the NT (neural translucency) scan to test for Down Syndrome which involved a ultrasound and a blood test.  I was more interested in seeing our little baby on the screen and country arms and legs and seeing the little heart beat going 143 beats per minute and then it would wiggle about and kick its legs.  It was so reassuring to both Marcus and myself that yes there was definitely a little baby in there and so far so good it is growing well and all seems to be in place for a nice normal pregnancy.  They do do things differently over here, the doctor performing the ultrasound was very business like, there was no "oohs and ahhhh's or light conversational banter from him, he just went through the motions quickly and then left so the nurse could finish up and wipe the gel off my belly.  Then it was back to the Obsteticrians office for another chat and an overview of the scan and surprisingly she told me that we were further along than I first thought, 10weeks 5 days, which means that on this Saturday I will have reached my milestone of 12 weeks and can start looking forward to all the kicks and joys of being pregnant rather than always wondering and stressing if we would make it and feeling sick for most mornings and completely turned off food.  I am hoping to get my appetite back.  I am really looking forward to feeling the first kicks, they say that after you have had a baby that you are more sensitive to what is happening and feel the kicks earlier than a first time mum. 

After the follow up with the Doc I had my blood taken by a lovely and pregnant Thai nurse who was very curious about natural child birth and said she had concerns about whether or not her small frame would be able to handle a vaginal delivery.  I reassured her that yes labour hurts but the pain stops as soon as the baby is out and the recovery is so much more quicker than after having a cesarean.  It is one of the obstacles about living in Thailand I am determined to overcome, I am insisting on a natural birth, I have done it twice before there is no reason why I cant do it again, the only way I am getting cut open or a needle shoved in my spine is if the baby or my life is in immediate danger.  The doctors here prefer C sections and don't encourage natural births like many hospitals do back in Australia.
So after our successful day at the hospital our spirits were high as Marcus left for work and I treated myself to MacDonald's for lunch.  I received a phone call yesterday from my doctor and immediately I thought the worst as in Australia the doctor only phones you personally to deliver bad news, but all was OK, she phoned to say that all my test came back negative, I don't have AIDS, or Hepatitis or anything else scary like that.  My NT blood test for Downs came back as good with a 1:5200 chance, good odds I say.  The only thing she wants me to do is take more Iron supplements as I am slightly low.  So, so far so good.

This week I have been busy preparing for our trip back to Australia to visit family.  My mum was sick a few months back and my cousin past away as well so I thought it well and truly time to get me and the kids back home for a much overdue visit.  We are flying out early Saturday morning to Melbourne and crashing at my in-laws place for 3 nights then off again on another place to Townsville to stay with my parents for 9 days then back down to Melbourne again to stay with my BFF and her kids for 3 nights before taking the long long flight back to Bangkok.  And all of this I am doing with just me and the 2 kids.  Marcus has to work and since I am not big and fat with baby belly yet this is the best time to go.  So in between paying bills and grocery shopping for enough food that Marcus wont starve and arguing with a stubborn disgusting toad in my swimming pool I have been trying to pack.  I hate packing, I always pack too much of the wrong things and forget all of the necessary things.  Tomorrow is the kids final day of school semester and unfortunately it is a half day so I only have the morning to finalise everything before the 2 wrecking balls come home and un pack everything I spent hours packing. 
I am hoping this flight will be slightly less stressful than others as Lillie is now old enough for her own seat and can walk alot more on her own now and they both seem to listen a little bit better but I am not getting my hopes up, it could all unravel into a puddle of tears and tantrums before we even step foot on the plane.  Thankfully we are flying Thai airways and they are lovely with kids and it beats the hell out of flying in those tiny shitty Jetstar planes.  As much as it was a pain in the arse to go through the companies travel agent I am now grateful for them not scrimping on price and finding us nice airlines with direct routes straight into Melbourne.
I am actually looking forward to having the kids on my own, the energy levels when it is just us 3 are much lower than when Marcus is around bouncing off walls and never sitting still.  He is like a third child sometimes, which is a quality I love about him, I would rather a energetic husband than a couch potato who never plays with his children.
I am sure that after these 2 weeks in Australia trying to have a holiday I will have plenty to post about on my blog and I am sure alot of it may be whinging about badly behaved children.  But that all comes part and parcel with being a parent I suppose and as much as I complain I would never change my life for a second.

Our new little secret

Well the secret is out, I can now write about it.  About 6 weeks ago Marcus and I discovered we were expecting our third child.  We had talked about having another child but Marcus was quite adamant that he only wanted 2 kids but I could not get it out of my head that I wasn't finished having children.  He must have had a weak moment and we conceived much to my delight.  When I took the home pregnancy test I was unsure of how to tell him as I knew his initial reaction would not be one of delight.  I decided to just bite the bullet and tell him that night and as I predicted he did not take it well, we actually didn't talk to each other for 2 days until I sent him a very personal email (we get our emotions across to each other better that way, face to face gets too heated and usually ends in arguments) and his reply came quickly and much to my relief he said he was very happy about the baby but his main concern was whether or not I could handle having 2 small kids plus a new baby.  Not that he doesn't think I am a good mother, it is more because I have admitted to him in the past since we moved to Thailand and became Expats that I was having more hard days than good.  But I had to explain to him that it wasn't the children that made it hard it was the stress of moving countries and trying to make this foreign land feel like home for our family.  Once we came to an understanding we both started to get excited about this new addition to our family.  I unfortunately started to suffer quite bad morning sickness, constantly nauseous, dizzy and always tired.  It tends to take some of the shine out of the excitement when you feel ill all day long but since the 8 week mark I have started to feel much better and the nausea is only for a brief while in the mornings after breakfast.  I started to feel bloated immediately and all of my clothes are much tighter around my waist.  It isn't the best feeling when I have been trying to trim down (before conceiving of course) and now I have the bloated swollen feeling and only a handful of people know why, it is a bit of a blow to the self esteem.  I did tell a few friends here and at home about my condition, mostly to explain the my different behaviour and my avoiding alcohol.  I had just met some good drinking buddies too and now I have to sit on the sidelines again while they hit the town but in the end I remind myself of the hangovers the next day and that it may be fun at the time but is it worth not being able to parent my kids properly the next day? No.  So in the end avoiding of drinking and late nights isn't such a bad thing.
After 6 weeks of keeping our secret a dear friend of ours mistakenly announced it on my Facebook page last night intending it to be a personal inbox message that instead went onto my Wall and within minutes there were posts from all of our friends laughing and commenting on his innocent mistake.  Marcus and I thought it was all terribly funny and reassured him that we were not upset in any way and that it was nearly time to announce it anyway.  He also managed to blow a secret holiday he was planning for his wife as well.  Poor guy, but so funny. 
I still haven't had my scan yet, they don't do early scans over here, they wait until the 12th week.  It is unfortunate because I like to have early scans to reassure myself that there is a viable foetus with a nice heart beat.  So I pray that this announcement will not be all in vain if so some terrible reason our scan next week isn't what we think it is.  But that is a very morbid thought one that I do not like to dwell on for too long.

So there is our happy news, a new challenge for our journey over here, being pregnant and giving birth in Thailand will have its differences compared to Australia but at the end of the day I have to remind myself that babies are born in every country all over the world and women have been giving birth for millions of years, it is a natural act and one that I hopefully will be able to undergo with as minimal medical intervention as possible.  My greatest concern is after the birth if the baby requires medical treatment that he/she will be able to get the best care possible. 
I am really looking forward to my scan and to meet this little joy inside me growing bigger everyday, it will confirm it all to be real and really happening.

Netball in Pattaya, Thailand

A couple of friends of mine had the idea to try and get the Pattaya Netball Club back together and playing games and of course I jumped at the chance to play.  Tonight was the first game and we had 17 ladies show up to play, such a positive turn out.  I volunteered to umpire the game as I have umpired before and know the rules fairly well.  So we began the game and I was off to a running start as these ladies were no beginners to the sport and since the game of Netball is usually umpired by 2 refs I found myself running and working up a sweat straight away.  It was during the first quarter that I was running along the sideline and my ankle rolled on a small mound in the concrete and I crumbled to the ground in agony.  I haven't had a rolled ankle like that since I was a kid playing and this one stung bad.  I managed to suck it up and once I realised I could put pressure on it I continued to umpire the rest of the game, limping lamely up and down the court.  I was also very embarrassed and didn't want to look like a total klutz.  The game went really well, we had a few ladies try and argue the rules with me a bit which I didn't mind as I was used to umpiring loud women and pushing men, it's all part of the game.  But I did make it clear to the ladies that I was letting alot slide to keep the game flowing but if they wanted me to I can pull them up for every rule error but they agreed to let the game flow.  I had a bit of trouble keeping the time for each quarter as the stop watch on my phone was too quiet for me to hear so they ended up playing a bit longer than we planned.  By the end of the game my ankle was quite sore but I still managed to go out for a beer with some of the girls but my the time I made it home I could barely put pressure on my foot and my ankle had swollen up like a balloon.  I should have stayed off it and iced it straight away but my pride wouldn't let me and now I sit here up late at night when I would rather be sleeping trying to reduce the swelling with a bag of frozen peas.  I wonder what tomorrow will be like?  Will I be able to walk on it at all or will I have to pull Marcus' crutches out of the cupboard to help me get around? 

Judd has been sick all week as well with very high fevers.  I would get in down with some medicine but then it would continue to climb back up.  We took him to the hospital on Sunday night and the doctor said the Influenza was going around the schools and to keep a close eye on him with his temperature in case I need to bring him back to the hospital.  So for 2 days he has been home from school hanging with me and watching his favourite movies so tomorrow when he has to return to school he will put up a huge fight and try to convince me that he is still sick.  He loves to go to school but he loves to stay home and hang out watching TV with me more.  I have enjoyed having him just to myself these couple of days but by the end of each day I am so tired and don't have much energy left for the evening.  I am looking forward to going back to our usual routine but it will be interesting how I will get the kids to school if my ankle gets any worse.
I have no regrets though, I thoroughly enjoyed umpiring, it was almost as fun as playing and I really look forward to next week but I will make sure I watch where I step.

Another move, another house!

We tackled the big move and won.  We decided to make the move a day early this week as Marcus had the Grand Opening of their engine plant the next day, even the new Prime Minister of Thailand was supposed to attend, however due to the crisis of floods in northern Thailand she could not make it.  But back to the move.  A colleague of Marcus' offered the use of his driver and Ute for the day which made everything so much easier.  I had majority of our stuff boxed and ready to go and had dropped a few things off the night before while the land lady was here with her team of cleaners.  She had them scrubbing the grout in the floor tiles with Hydrochloric acid and toothbrushes!  Unfortunately they didn't realise was that in the process of all that scrubbing they have taken the shine off the tiles and there is a milky film covering them that wont wash off.  But at least the grout is white again.  This land lady is quite meticulous, she has her nose in everything and was even hanging about the day we moved in making me feel a little bit uncomfortable.  However in saying that she has kept this house very well maintained and in great working order, especially compared to our last place.  The furniture is well thought of and quite tasteful, the kitchen is immaculate and outside is well landscaped and kept very tidy.  Makes me feel a bit scared of any damage we may do in the process of living here with 2 kids and a dog.  Already the dog has attacked the garden and dug up the pots but I am sure everything will be fine.  There is a pool out the front of the house right near the front door with a small spa and an outdoor shower.  There was no fence when took the lease but the owner agreed to let us have one installed at our own expense for the safety of the kids.  We had a team of guys come in yesterday, Friday, and install a black steel fence that Marcus designed to comply with Australian standards.  Surprisingly they succeeded in putting together a pretty good fence, I did however have to point out a few gaps where the fence joined the boundary and asked them to weld in a few more pieces to block the hole.  The only thing I really don't like about this fence is the gates, the latches are placed down the bottom of the gate on the inside so in order for me to unlock it I have to get down on my knees, reach through with the key to undo the padlock and open it up.  To me that is a obvious design fault but once I looked at how it was built I realised that the land lady who was here during the design process would have told them to not drill any holes in the upright pillars and only drill into the cement on the ground.  She told Marcus that she is happy with a fence as long as we remove it when we leave and putty up holes.  I mean this fence cost us 15000baht ($550) and is an obvious enhancement to her being able to lease the property again, especially to a Western family who are educated enough to realise the importance of pool safety with children.  But if that is what she wants then that's fine, it wont cost much to hire a few men to come in and take it away, maybe the same guys who built it will want it back.
So far we have gone swimming everyday and yesterday was so nice to just sit on the sun lounge and watch as Lilly and Judd played quietly in the pool with their pool toys rather than being up at the communal pool feeling self conscious and always scared the kids will slip over on the slippery tiles that surround the pool area.  Now I can sit in all my glory, with the lap top or a book for as long as the kids like and they can come and go and swim and play as long as they like.  We picked the perfect time for a pool I think as Judd can now swim without any floaties and Lillie is growing more and more confident everyday.
The other great thing I love about this new house is the automatic gate!  OMG!  How wonderful to not have to get out every single time to open and shut the gate, especially in the rain.  The kids think is like magic that it can open all by itself. 

Overall we are feeling very happy here, straight away it felt like home and we have moved in, settled and feel like we have been here for ages already.  If Marcus was to get a contract extension I think we would be more than happy to stay here even longer, can't say that the cold winters of Melbourne are calling us home, not yet anyway.

Happy Birthday Judd!

Saturday was the day of Judd's 4th birthday party.  He had been counting down to this day for over 2 months and finally it had arrived.  We held the party at a children's play center called Wiggle Town and they planned and organised everything for us, all we had to do was show up.  I had decided to invite all of Judd's kindergarten class (all 20 of them) assuming that not all of the kids would show up.  We also invited a few of the expat families that we have become friends with so on the day we ended up with about 25 kids!  Only 7 of those were from school, the rest were expat kids.  It was such a good day, plenty of food, lots of games, heaps of noise and a giant Stegosaurus Dinosaur cake plus a lovely chocolate mud cake for the parents.  Judd got plenty of presents and he remembered his manners and said hello and thank you to all of his guests.  We finished up around 2.30 in the afternoon and all we had to do was pile all the gifts into the car and leave the mess.  It was ideal.

Sunday was Judd's actual birthday and he woke up singing Happy Birthday to himself and remembered that I told him that I would take him shopping to spend his birthday money and get a special toy.  He of course chose a giant Bumble Bee Transformer, so difficult that only his father can make it transform but Judd loves it and that's all that matters.

Today I am trying to pack up the house so we can move tomorrow into the new house that we have rented and I wanted to try and get some boxes moved today while the kids are at school but the land lady who owns the house is still cleaning it and it is such a bother.  We were told we could have the keys today to start moving and now I have to sit about waiting, something I don't do well.
But I should know by now that nothing moves quickly in Thailand and patience is necessary.  I just have to focus on the fact that we will move in tomorrow and we should be swimming in the pool tomorrow night, just wish I could have a glass of wine to top off the evening.

Bits and Bobs

The last few weeks have been quite uneventful hence the absence of any recent posts to my blog.  So it must mean that we are getting used to the peculiarities of Thailand and what would have shocked us 12 months ago now appears to just be everyday life. 
The kids were home sick last week so we were stuck in the house unable to go anywhere, only now are they starting to show signs of improvement. Marcus had a Rugby tournament in Bangkok last Saturday and the kids and I were supposed to go but I couldn't really see all of us sitting in the sun all day watching old men run about the footy pitch.  Marcus was going to stay the whole weekend with the rest of the team but after the day ended he was so tired and sore and starting to come down with the flu he decided to drive home but of course he got lost in Bangkok, as always, and spent an hour driving about trying to find his way out.  That reaffirmed to me that we made the right choice in staying home. 

This week the kids are back at school thankfully and I am getting back to the gym and organising Judd's birthday party which we are having on Saturday.  Well actually I am not organising much, the play center we are having it at do all the work, I just have to get the final numbers.  A task that proves to be quite tricky as Thai parents tend to not RSVP to parties, or so I have been told, they just show up on the day.  Now this causes a problem for me because I need to know numbers in order to have enough loot bags, cake, food and drink plus prizes for the games.  I decided to invite all of Judds kinder class plus some of the expat kids.  If they all show up I may have nearly 30 kids!  Lord I hope not.  So far I have 17 and that is heaps.  But we want a big party for Judd as he has missed out on things like birthday parties and such since we have been in Thailand.  He deserves a big celebration, I just hope he gets lots of presents to spoil him and make him feel like the super special kid he is. 
I can't believe he is turning 4, such a big boy now.  He can dress himself, brush his own teeth, help around the house, clean his room to earn his weekly allowance.  My special little guy is growing up and I feel so sad about it.  I want him to stay little and always be mummies best friend as he calls me.  But with the growing comes the cheeky talk back and thinking he is smarter than us and he always has a response to everything.  I think he picks up some cheeky behaviour from the other kids at school, but I guess its all part of parenting, they cant stay babies for ever.

Next week as we get over Judd's party we are moving house and I cannot be bothered packing all of our belongings up again.  It is such a short move, literally up the street and round the corner.  Marcus has designed a pool fence to be built before we move in, and fingers crossed they install it correctly.  I want the kids to be able to play outside and come and go as they like through the house, but if the pool isn't secure then I will always have to have the doors locked and bolted.  This new house though has a lovely ceiling fan outside so at least when I am out with them to supervise it wont be so hot and uncomfortable.  The house is better fitted out than our current one, slightly smaller and different layout, but very very similar.  I look forward to getting everything in and settled and setting myself up by the pool everyday.  Marcus will love it too, it was his idea in the first place to get a pool.

Oh and Judd got stung by a wasp today up at the park, poor guy.  He was playing on the slide when he started screaming and there was literally a swarm of wasps flying about him.  Thankfully he was only stung once and after some ice and some cream it settled down.  He took it on well, barely cried, I was quite proud of him.  I would have cried for sure.  Nasty little bastards they are, and they don't die like bees do, they keep coming back and keep stinging.  My brave boy now has something to tell everyone about, he wont let anyone forget he got stung by a wasp.

Taking back control

I had a mini meltdown this morning.  I went to pay my water bill at the 7/11  as usual yesterday and was told since I was 1 day overdue they cannot accept payment and I have to go to the Pattaya Water Authority.  This happened once before and the nice people at the office of our village took care of it for me so today I dropped into the office again on my way home from yoga to see what I could do and the conversation got so confusing I struggled to keep my temper.  They said OK to paying it for me but then in the next breath they said they needed 300baht extra as it was overdue.  Now I know that this was a load of crap because I have had an overdue bill before and there were no extra charges.  I got that yucky feeling that they were trying to screw me out of money, it went from 400baht for the actual water bill, plus 300baht as a fee then a mention of 1000baht to have the water meter replaced as the water meter man was going to come and take it away.  Now 6 months ago I would have been so flustered that I would have handed over any amount they wanted just to be rid of the problem but not today, I was not in the mood to be screwed around.  I ended up taking my money and the bill off the counter and telling them to forget about it.  I was so angry, not so much at them but at the way Thailand tries to screw the westerner out of every penny like we are millionaires or something.  They assume that since we are here working our company picks up the tab for everything, but our company does the bare minimum so alot of the expense of living over here comes out of our personal money so I take it very personally when they try to screw me.  I stormed home and by the time I unlocked the front door I was in tears, then Marcus rang from Bangkok needing me to transfer money to his account and I just felt so overwhelmed and lost and foreign that I could barely speak to him without sobbing.  It took me about an hour to calm down, shower and ask around for help but in the end I called the man at the office again and asked him to draw me a map so I could find the water office myself.  If I was in Australia and I had a overdue bill I wouldn't expect some random person to drop what he was doing and run off to pay it for me so I thought why should I expect it here?  It turned out that I have driven past this water authority building a hundred times and it was really close, as I drove in I noticed a sign saying Express Payment for Water Usage and I drove up to this little booth with a man inside and handed him my bill and he asked for the exact amount that was owed, gave me a receipt and off I went back home.  So it turned out that the girl at the office was trying to screw me, I didn't owe any extra for being late.  As I drove home I felt such a sense of triumph and achievement, it is funny but living overseas in a non English speaking country accomplishing the smallest things like paying a bill feels amazing and gives me back that sense of freedom and control that I took for granted living in Australia.  I almost feel like I did when I first moved out of home when I was 17 and I had to learn how to fend for myself but at least back then I could ask any stranger for directions or help but here the chances of finding someone who speaks fluent enough English to understand me are slim and makes it all the more challenging and stressful.  But I did it today and I now know where to go and what to do should it happen again in the future and I can stand on my own 2 feet and not let people take advantage of me just because I look like a stupid lost 'Farrang'.

Dilema and a day of fishing

We have had a interesting couple of weeks.  Lillie started school and has taken to it like a duck to water.  I thought I would have alot of trouble getting her settled and used to being away from me, but no, she sold me out like sponge cake.  First day yes she did cry a little but her second day came and whoosh she was off running inside waving goodbye.  So I have had what I thought would be oodles of time to do my own thing but I was surprised to discover how quickly it goes by.  An hour or 2 at the gym, then a quick grocery shop, a few returned emails, lunch and then wham I am back in the car picking them up.  My days are busier and I am more tired now they are both in Kinder than I was before but it is a nice tired, it is a feeling of accomplishment like I actually did something with my time, nothing world changing of course but its a hell of alot more than I was doing which consisted mostly of watching shitty daytime TV and constantly snacking.  When I am bored I eat and I don't seem to be able to feel full.  It is a sure sign that if I am constantly walking back to the kitchen I need to get the hell out of the house and get busy.  Now Lillie isn't going to be in school all day everyday like Judd but 3 days a week I think is enough to give her a break from me, learn new things, socialise with other kids her age and make some friends.  It is already showing positive signs on her, she is attempting to sing the alphabet song already, she also is talking alot more and interacting alot more with us.  She even started signing a kinder song that Judd learnt in his first semester that surprised me as she sang it very well and even used the hand actions.  I have one minor or it could be major problem with her being in kinder, well this kinder in particular - they don't have a pool fence around the school swimming pool - for an Australian to see this and for an Australian to send her kids to a school that doesn't value or recognise pool safety it is a huge conflict with my morals and everything I have ever been taught growing up in North Queensland.  I mentioned my concern to the school principle and I even went so far as to have a meeting with the owner of the school and he made it very clear in his gentle Thai way that he has no real intentions of ever putting a fence up as he believes the landscaping around the pool area is enough of a deterrent to keep the kids away.  Now these plants he is talking about lining the edge of the swimming area are little stick like palms that bunch together to create a sort of screen but I tried to explain to him that a mere bush or plant will not deter a determined child, it only takes one adventurous little 2 or 3 year old to wander away from the supervising teachers and it is a silent death when a child drowns, they don't bob up and down screaming for help, they just slip in quietly and sink straight to the bottom and no one knows until they make the gruesome discovery later on.  But still this obviously well education Thai man had excuses for every argument I could make and all I had to do was to leave there with his assurance that there strict methods of supervising the children will prevent any accidents from happening with that pool. 
Now for Judd I am not so much concerned because over the part month he has begun to swim without his floaties and can swim solo now for the entire length of the communal pool in our village which is approximately 18meters in length.  Pretty impressive for the little guy.  We are so proud of his development and he is really turning into a "little boy" and moving out of the toddler phase.  So for him to fall in I am confident he can swim to the edge and climb out and also the pool is only 90cm deep so he can stand up in it.  But Lillie is far from being able to swim to the surface if she were to fall in, we have been working on her for some time now but she is still so young.
So the point to this story is that I love their school and they love their school and I trust them 100% with my children but could I ever live with myself if something terrible was to happen and my excuse for sending her to that school was that it was the cheaper option compared with the other international kindergartens in town.  Can you put a price on your child's safety?  I know that Australia can be accused of wrapping our kids in cotton wool and being over cautious, but pool safety to me really a non-negotiable.  I have watched the teachers at this school and they are very careful and cautious with the children but wouldn't it make sense to child proof the pool just in case there was that one child who slipped away quietly? 
I just don't know what to do.

On a lighter note we took the kids on our very first fishing expedition today.  I have always thought fishing would be so boring but today I surprised myself and really enjoyed it.  We took the kids to a local Barra Farm just around the corner a bit from where we live.  It is owned and operated by a Aussie and a Kiwi, 2 expats that have been in Thailand for years.  There are 2 big ponds filled with local Barramundi and many other species and a bar with a decent menu and cheap beers and there are staff there who put the bait on your hook, will even cast for you, reel in for you, take the hook out, clean and cook for you all for the bargain price of something like 300baht, that's like $9 AUD.  So we sat there for 3 and a half hours today and we did all the baiting and casting ourselves as we aren't total nitwits and we had such a good time.  Lillie wasn't so keen on it, but she was tired and eventually fell asleep so it was just Marcus, Judd and myself sitting by the pond waiting for the little fishies to come and take our hooks.  Judd loved it, we thought he might do it for 15 minutes and then be over it but he continued to sit there and hold his rod and kept asking "when are the fish coming? did I get one yet?"  He was so cute and when he finally did get one he pulled it out all by himself and was so proud.  I think I took something like 77 photos today as it was just the perfect setting for family shots.  The kids were calm, we were calm and we just sat.  I would take them back every Saturday if they let me, it was really a simple and lovely family day out.  I really do believe that it is the simple things like going fishing together that are the best, rather than dragging them about shopping or sight seeing places they don't understand.  I said it before but I think we need to simplify our lives a little more, take a step back and stop living so fast.

Lillie at Kindergarten

Lillie started kindergarten this week and it was a total success.  Her first day I took her into her classroom and she cried and clung to me like a monkey but they said she eventually settled down but didn't really get involved with her other classmates.  However on her second day she ran inside when I dropped them off in the morning and blew me a kiss with a big wave and happily went to her classroom with her teachers.  Her third and fourth days were the same, she loves getting dressed for school and having her hair done and especially loves putting on her new school sneakers that have a picture of Barbie on them.  On her fifth day, Friday, I left her there for the whole day and she happily had her swim lesson, ate her lunch of carrot soup (which if I ever tried to serve it for dinner it would be met with a screaming match) and she even laid down with all the other kids and had her daytime nap.  I still cant believe that her first week went so well.  It is such a comfort to know that she is happy and well cared for and is also starting to learn.  Already she is learning her ABC song and as the Queens Birthday is next week she is learning to do the traditional Thai Wai and say Sawatdee Ka (basically hello and goodbye) as the parents are invited to attend a special Mothers Day ceremony which is also celebrated on the Queens Birthday. 

As well as being her first week at Kidner it was also her 2nd birthday on Tuesday and I supplied a special ice cream cake with candles for her class to celebrate with her.  Then in the evening we had a second cake and opened her presents with just the family at home.  We decided not to have a big party for her this year, but next year when she is old enough to understand and enjoy it more we will give her a big one.
Judd is enjoying having his sister at school as well, they don't see each other during the day as they are in separate classes but when he sees her in the afternoon at pick up time he runs down the stairs and gives her a huge hug and kiss hello.  Such a sweet boy.
I spent my time going to the gym and trying to start a new routine and bust out of some old habits.  I also got to spend 3 hours in a salon on Friday and have my hair styled and thank the Lord I finally found a hairdresser who listened to exactly what I said and gave me the exact hairstyle I wanted.  I am so grateful and it is amazing the boost it gives my self esteem just to have a decent haircut and colour.  I enjoyed my alone time this week, I enjoyed being able to do the grocery shopping without arguments and tantrums and I enjoyed sitting quietly and eating my lunch in peace without constantly getting up to put a naughty toddler back to bed for her nap.  Lillie's behaviour has changed also this week.  She is more than happy to go to bed each night as she is tired from her day at school and she isn't throwing as many tantrums as before.  I think having her in kinder a few days per week to give us all a break from each other is a very good idea.  I didn't even have the 'guilty mum' feeling after I left her, I felt light and free.  I did feel a small pang of guilt for feeling that way but I believe in the old adage " happy wife, happy life" as well as "happy mum, happy life"  it doesn't rhyme but its true.

12 Months gone by in a blur.....

On Sunday 24th July 2011 we had our 1 year anniversary for living in Thailand as expats.  When I think back to those first weeks here it now seems like such a blur and a distant memory.  It makes me glad that I started this blog to record and remember all of those emotions and first time experiences.  I also thank my loyal girlfriends and family who have followed my blog and have joined us on this journey, I appreciate the friendship and support and here's to writing about the next 12 months, I wonder what Thailand has in store for us.

Not only did we have our anniversary but we also had a couple of important events happen this past week as well.  Firstly I got to inspect the house that we like that is down the street from our current place.  It is similar in size, maybe smaller with only 2 bathrooms instead of 3 ( as if we need 3 bathrooms) and it has a lovely pool and a really nicely landscaped yard with lots of little extras inside and around that our current house doesn't have.  I also got to meet the owner of the property, at first she came off as very snobby and aloof and made me feel like I should have dressed up in my finest attire to inspect her house.  She made it very clear that she doesn't like mess and she expected us to keep the house as clean as possible at all times and she even went as far as to say that she wanted her maid to work for me instead of the one I have now.  I was stupid enough not to think quickly and agreed to this suggestion which then caused me 4 days of constant stress and unease.  I did like her maid, she was very particular and clean but I had a gut feeling that she would also be there as a spy making sure we didn't break anything or damage any part of the house.  I also felt really guilty at the thought of sacking my current maid Juk who has given me no reason or cause to warrant losing her job and she didn't deserve to get fired just because I was too spineless to stand up to this pushy Thai woman.  I cannot tell you how much I stressed over this small detail and it wasn't until I read a passage in a book that I am reading - Sarah Palin's autobiography, Going Rogue - in which she said that she must be the person to live with her decisions and abide by the consequences of her actions and this rang so true with me that I then and there decided to stand my ground with this woman and tell her that I will not use her maid and will continue to keep mine as she is good and the kids are relaxed and comfortable with having her around.  As soon as I made this firm in my mind I felt at ease again.  We had scheduled a meeting with her and the agent for Sunday to sign the lease and pay the security deposit and when she arrived she had on that same snobby attitude from the previous day, not to mention the same outfit.  She went over the contract like she had never seen one before (she owns 4 rental properties within the SP villages so I know she knows how to read a lease) and then she had some questions or rather rules that she wanted to inform us on.  Firstly she wanted to tell us that we must allow the Pesticide guy to come in a spray for termites once a month.  This Marcus agreed to but I still have reservations.  I don't like using sprays of any kind around my kids let alone a fine powder that will fill their nostrils.  I think I will jus tell the man to bugger off when he does come by as I am not comfortable at all with having chemicals sprayed where my children live, eat and sleep.  The second rule was that she didn't want the puppy inside the house WTF?  I told her on the day of the inspection that I had a dog and asked her if it would be an issue and she said no it was fine.  To this new rule I flat out refused to agree to and told her that if she didn't want the puppy inside the house then she should find someone else to lease her house to.  She then proceeded to sit there and "think" about it for about 10 minutes at which point I went to care for the kids as I needed to walk away from the table and by the time I came back she had told Marcus that he was a "very sexy man" and agreed to sign the lease.
I just hope she isn't a pain in my ass and bothers me about small details and I just hope that I can relax enough in this house to make it feel like home rather than living in my grandmas house full of antiques and fragile china.  Marcus obviously doesn't care and isn't bothered by her meticulous nature but something about her niggled at me that she is devious. 
Don't get me wrong I am over the moon we got this house as houses within this village that are single story and have swimming pools are like hens teeth and we are so lucky we get to stay in a village that we have come to know well and feel safe in.  Also I look forward to sitting by the pool with the kids and Marcus having a nice glass of wine watching them swim and play.

The second thing that happened this week was I enrolled Lillie into Judd's Kindergarten.  I know she is still so young but it is more like a childcare than a kindergarten for kids her age.  I mean yes she wears a uniform, which by the way is bloody adorable on her, and she will have lessons to learn but they are all activity based and fun.  I picked up her school backpack and uniform today and she got to try it on for me, she seemed like such a big girl and was so proud of her new dress.  She also got a nightie to wear at nap time which has cute little flowers on it.  She will start on Monday and just do a week or 2 of half days and then when she is settled and comfortable with her teachers I will change her to 3 full days per week.  I still have to pay a full semester for 5 days per week but it is still way cheaper than all of the other international schools and the ladies don't mind if she doesn't come everyday.  My hope is that she will learn to play and socialise with other children better as we live a fairly solitary life over here and we don't get out much to play dates or parties and I think school will be very good for her.  I also look forward to having some much needed time to myself, I plan to go to the gym, do any grocery shopping or run any errands and also squeeze in some much needed lunch dates with my friends whom I never get to see much anymore and since I only have a handful of people I can call friends it is important that I make the time and effort to see them more.

So we have had a good week, busy and productive and I look forward now to our next 12 months here in Thailand.  I cannot believe it has been 1 year already, how time flys.  I can see now how alot of people decide to stay on longer and longer because as the time rolls on the Thai lifestyle or the expat Thai lifestyle becomes very easy to get used to.

Long Weekend in Thailand

Friday was Asahna Bucha Day and Saturday was Buddhist Lend Day.  Asahna Day was when Buddha gave his first sermon in a deer park at Benares India over 2500 years ago.  It is a day when Buddhists "make merit" and visit a local temple.  Traditionally candles were amongst the majority of items given on this day as there was no electricity back then and extra candles were needed in order to see out the long, wet and darker days and nights.  Judd's school asked us to donate candles last week in order for them to take to the Wat on Friday.  Saturday was also the beginning of a 3 month Buddhist Lent.  I have been told that devout Buddhists will not drink any alcohol during this time.  Both Friday and Saturday were "dry days" here in Thailand where no alcohol was permitted to be sold so if you hadn't stocked up prior then you were "left out to dry" so to speak.  However there is always a loop hole and after speaking with a couple of people I easily discover that there are some restaurants and bars that shut their doors but stay open serving out the back.  There is a local we eat at often that was doing exactly that on Saturday evening when I went to collect our dinner.  They weren't serving in the restaurant but were directing their customers around the back of the bar out of sight of the street where the party was in full swing.  It's funny when people are restricted from drinking or at least buying alcohol for a mere 2 days they seek ways of doing it anyway.  Now it wasn't the Thais I saw hiding out the back it was all Western men and their bar girls, the Thais are obviously smart enough to buy earlier in the week.  I imagine it would be annoying if I was a tourist here on holiday to be told I couldn't buy a cocktail on my holiday and the streets in town looked awfully quiet and sad with all the bars closed and the bar girls off work for the night.



View from the hill at Nong Nooch Gardens




Thai Cultural Show

 Friday we spent hanging out at home, swimming and enjoying the warm and dry weather.  Saturday we took the kids to a botanical garden called Nong Nooch (pronounced Nong Noot) as I was politely informed yesterday at dinner.  It is a wonderful place that we all enjoyed.  There were small animal attractions, rare birds in small cages, drugged Tigers posing for pictures and Elephant rides but the best parts was the Thai Cultural Show which displayed Thai dancing, Thai boxing, sword fighting and even traditional Elephant fighting where the Elephants are rode into battle with the warriors sitting on their heads with super long swords (more like machetes) tyring to either maim or kill their opponent.  Of course it was all show and the Elephants weren't in any danger of being harmed and it made an awesome show especially for the kids.  They really liked it when the Elephants came out at the end to dance and blow their trumpets.

After the show we had lunch then took sight seeing tour bus around the park to different types of temples, gardens and maze like areas with statues and traditional buildings everywhere.  I don't know what they were called exactly as the tour guide spoke in Thai but they were sure nice to look at.  We got some lovely photos too.
On the way out we stopped to show Judd the huge statues of Mammoths in a garden.  He loved it as he is really into Dinosaurs and those sorts of creatures at the moment.  Then of course we stopped by the Elephants on the way out to feed them some bananas.  Judd also loves Elephants, so does Lillie but she wont go near them.  Judd was so brave standing right near one feeding her.  I just love to touch them, their skin is amazing.  As we walked about the park I found it fascinating that the Elephants giving the rides would be walking right through the centre where all the tourists walked about and ate lunch, people just walked right next to them and around them without the slightest bit of amazement that this huge animal that had the potential to kill most of them with its massive foot should it decided to get angry.  I mean Lillie and I were walking right behind one for some time as it was too wide to pass, I was just praying it wouldn't decided to poo on my feet.  Never in Australia would you see a fully grown Elephant wandering around Melbourne Zoo while its mahout hung back having a cigarette barely paying any attention and while children scampered around yelling and playing.

We ended the day at about 3pm and of course the kids fell asleep instantly, as we arrived home I popped in to see the manager of our village in his office to ask if he had any houses for rent with a swimming pool that we could look at.  We have been discussing lately about whether or not we want to move to a different house and whether or not we were ready to have a pool for the kids.  The only problem was that we really like our village and we have come to get to know people here and we feel safe with the guards and the park and lake are so pretty to take the kids up to play.  Not many villages have what we have here and not many are maintained as well as this one is either.  So luckily we did get to look at a couple of houses but one was a 2 story that we definitely didn't want as we want the kids to run freely about the house and not be restricted by stairs or balustrades or for us to stress about them falling down or over the balconies.  The other didn't have a pool as yet but he said he could put one in for us no problem but the house itself was too small.  So we ended the day not sure if we would have to leave the village or resign ourselves to staying in this house minus a pool.

Marcus headed into town that afternoon to sign up for a marathon and what should have been less than a 2 hour trip in and out turned out to take nearly 4 hours as the city was so busy with tourists here for the long weekend.  It took him 45 minutes to get to Central then when he went to leave they had double parked so many cars into the multi story car park that once he reversed out of his car space he literally could not move another meter as the traffic has piled up so much that he was stuck on the 6th floor and it took him 3 hours to get out!  I kept called him to see what was happening and he sounded so frustrated.  The car park people just kept on letting people in and the whole building got completely jammed up plus as he tried to reverse out of his space some idiot had pushed a metal box up against his car and he didn't see it and scratched a huge gash down the side of our rental car that we were supposed to be returning the very next day.  What a mess, thank god we didn't all go in together, imagine being stuck in the car with 2 tired kids for 3 hours unable to move and some wanker a few cars back keeps honking his horn!  OMG!  NO thank you.

On Sunday our friend at the office called to say he had a house up the road from us in our village that will be vacant in September and it has a pool and is the same size as our current house.  Of course we jumped on it but we had a bit of a problem negotiating rent and pool maintenance.  It turns out to be alot more expensive than what we pay here and we have to pay for a secure pool fence to be installed out of our own money but we still think it will be worth it.  I haven't seen inside yet as the tenants are away but I will get to have a look on Wednesday afternoon and fingers crossed it is well fitted out with decent furniture and then we will be able to sign a new lease and be living in our new house and hanging by the pool drinking a beer in a months time.

It was a good weekend and good family time and we made some nice memories.

Judd, my prince charming

Every now and then I get a glimpse of how quickly my kids are growing up.  On Monday I laid out Judd's kinder uniform to get him ready for the day and after making lunch and tidying the kitchen I walked back into his room to discover him standing there already dressed and carefully buttoning up his shirt.  The moment only last for about 30seconds but I stood there and watched with mixed emotions of pride and sadness.  I am so proud of him for getting dressed by himself but I am also sad that these are the first steps he will take towards not needing him mumma as much.  He is such a sensitive and gentle boy, I truly adore him.  He knows when I am having a sad day or a hard day and he always comes up to me with a cuddle and a kiss and says such sweet things like " I love you so much mumma, you have the most beautiful eyes" or " mumma you are the best mum, I love you"  I mean whose heart doesn't melt after hearing something like that.  I have said to Marcus on many occasions that Judd will make some lucky girl the best husband and that he should take some tips from Judd on how to say nice things to a lady.
Judd was never a hard baby, just the usual sleep issues and refusing to eat certain foods but he is always well behaved, never hits or hurts anyone and would never say a bad word, even to his sister who bullies him a little bit and steals his toys.  He is so gentle to our new puppy Sticker and says all the time what a beautiful baby girl she is and cuddles her so carefully.  He listens when I speak to him even though he may not do what I ask all the time. 
The only worry I have is how he is going to handle school and kids that bully.  Right now he is in Kindergarten and the children there are very well behaved but there is one teacher for each class and 3 assistants so there is always an adult watching and caring for them, but in Primary or when we go back to Australia the teacher to student ratio is much much greater and therefore the children aren't watched as closely and certain bad behaviour can be missed, I mean why else is bulling such a big problem?  Children aren't mean by nature, it is how they are raised and nurtured and guided through problems.  Parents have the majority of the responsibility but I also believe that schools and teachers have a huge role to play in children's lives and the development of their personalities, we are sending them there 6 hours a day for 5 days a week, they spend more daylight hours with their schools than they do with their parents.  I want to protect Judd with every fibre of my body from mean little children and the nasty things they can say and do but I am also aware that he needs to learn to stand up for himself and defend himself if necessary, not to fight but to learn to be able to rise above unfriendly situations.  I have no idea how to do this and I am sure there are alot of parents who feel the same way. 


Chillin in the back of a baht bus.

I don't want to be a helicopter mum, I want him to grow up knowing that I am here, always, and that he can be independent and an individual but that at the end of the day he comes home to his mum and dad and contributes to the family unit as well.  This of course is many years from now but just look at how fast the last 4 years have gone, pretty soon we will reach this stage of life and I know that I must lay the ground work now in these early years in order to be ready for the rampage of the teenage years.  If he is anything like his dad we will have our hands full but he had a strong loving mother and in the end he turned out more than ok and is the best dad and husband and I am truly very lucky to have married him.

Quality time

Funny how a simple weekend can be so rewarding.  Friday night I arranged for our maid to babysit so Marcus and I could have a date night.  Now this sounds easy but my maid has zero English so I had to try and communicate with her with a Thai/English Dictionary, a wind up clock and a calculator.  I used the dictionary to find the key words like "babysit, night time" etc. and it has each word written in Thai writing so she can read what it is I am trying to say without me having to try and pronounce each word.  I used the clock to position the hands to the times that I wanted her to start and finish and I used the calculator to show her how much I would pay her.  I didn't try to go into what to feed them or how to put them to bed because there are just too many words to look up.  I did however have Lillie already in bed and asleep before she arrived and Judd had a movie to watch and I showed her the time I wanted him to go to bed on my clock and used hand singles of pretending to sleep.  At first when we arrived in Thailand I felt bloody ridiculous but now it comes naturally to used my hands and speak simply.  I cut out all unnecessary words and speak what I call pigeon Thai.  I try not to be condescending or belittling because I am fully aware that I am the visitor in their country and it is not up to them to learn English it is up to me to try to communicate with them. 
So we had success with the babysitter which is awesome because that now means we can have our adult time and be able to get out alot more without dragging the kids along with us and keeping them up too late and it is good for our maid too because for one night of about 6 hours sitting she gets paid nearly double what she earns in one day cleaning. 

So Marcus and I went into town and of course we hadn't planned anything so we wandered around for too long and I got too hot and sweaty.  We ran into a work colleague of Marcus in Walking Street and he invited us to join his dinner party but he couldn't remember where it was and he didn't have a phone to call his friends to ask.  We ended up walking back and forth before I encouraged Marcus to ditch him (as he was blind drunk anyway) because our date night was nearly over and we hadn't even sat down for dinner or a beer.  We eventually stopped to watch a live band and one beer turned into about 6 and the music was so loud our date night turned into us sitting next to each other yelling over the music every time we wanted to say something but the band was so good that we didn't really mind.  Before long it was time to head home but we squeezed in a couple more beers trying to prolong the night.  I think we wandered back home at about 1am which is early for most people but super late for a couple of tired old parents with toddlers that rise at the crack of dawn.  When we got home the house had been completely tidied and the kids were still sound asleep so it was easy to pay our sitter and fall into bed. 

The hang over the next day was excruciating but worth it.  So Saturday was a right off but come Sunday we woke up fresh and decided to take the kids to our favourite beach for the afternoon and spent a relaxing day lying on the sand and watching the kids run about.  It was nice and there was no stress, no yelling and the kids were completely entertained and happy and of course promptly fell asleep within minutes of getting into the car to drive home.

That evening we decided to try a new local restaurant that was recommended to us by a friend and we ordered what we thought was a fair amount of food but when we got it home and opened it up it was more than fair, it was a huge amount of food and it was delicious and I will definitely be going back again.

It was overall a good weekend with minimal fighting and yelling and some good family bonding.  Funny how the simplest things are usually the most beneficial.